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Modest Dressing Mommas - Page 27

post #521 of 591
You could do what neveryoumindthere does, absolutely. That would be a good compromise.

I just want to say that you shouldn't feel like you should dress a certain way just because your hubby wants you to. If YOU want to do that for him, fine. But don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable if you don't want. It's YOUR body.
post #522 of 591
I agree with Smee.
I think where something sexy and sassy for DH is fun! Even if it's just naughty underwear. As for the hair thing, remind him that when you cover it in public, it becomes something that is just for him. It puts a spin on it that makes it sexy, and slightly forbidden

On a side note, ladies, I found a blog where the author discusses her journey towards modesty, as she sees and understands it for herself.
I thought y'all might enjoy taking a peek!
http://thatmarriedcouple.blogspot.co...g-modesty.html
post #523 of 591
Im am finding there are ways to be sexy and modest at the same time- but I am still working out how that looks for me. As a young single mama it feels more important to me to not 'let myself go' or become modest to the exclusion of feeling beautiful. For me being modest is about making myself feel more beautiful and appealing, so I am still finding ways to wear clothes which make me comfy (not too immodest, but not to frumpy) and still honor the kind of person I want to show the world I am. Its a delicate balance, but I am getting there.
post #524 of 591
cross-posting this from the Trad Catholic thread

Mind if I pop in here for a quick question? I normally just lurk on this thread.

We dress modestly, which normally equates to dresses {by her choice} for DD who is starting K this fall. We homeschool, and I normally buy her used school uniforms {polo or middy blouse and jumper} to wear on school days as I can get them CHEAP here {$1 a piece} and they last very well.

DD is starting a local homeschool PE class that is held at a YMCA gym, and I'm at a loss for what to have her wear to PE. It looks like from pics most of the kids wear t-shirts and tight fitting pants {think leggings} for PE for her age.

Would a dress get in the way too much? Would a skort be better? I have a few uniform skirts with shorts under that I got for her to wear already.

Trying to make sure we have this ironed out beforehand as it sometimes take me a while to find modest clothing that fits her as she is tall for her age.
post #525 of 591
Just above the knee dresses, long tunic shirts, or skirts plus bright colored leggings look to be "in" for girls' back-to-school now. I love that look, it's fun and cute and practical and modest.
post #526 of 591
To JamieCatherine: Did you tell him why you prefer to be more covered up? Guys don't get the kind of... vaguely threatening sexual objectification attention that women get (at least not the same way). Maybe try explaining to him that you feel unsafe/insecure/uncomfortable with men leering, and soliciting you for prostitution, and it is much more comfortable for you to not be leered at, cat-called, and otherwise objectified. He probably doesn't realize that to us, it can sometimes feel threatening when men act this way, and thus why it would feel safer to be dressed more modestly. (plus you get more respect.)

Also, have you asked him why he doesn't like it when you dress modestly? Is he wanting to see more of your body because he finds you attractive and likes to see you? Is he wanting other men to see how awesome he is for having an attractive woman like you? Is he worried people will judge him when you're together, thinking he's some oppressive man who makes his woman cover up?

I think by explaining what you gain AND talking to him about his real concerns about it might help you guys work it out. You shouldn't dress in a way that makes you uncomfortable just because he wants you to. That said, it would probably be most harmonious to discuss and work out both of your issues with it, and maybe find some compromises, or maybe just get to a point that makes you both comfy.

I know when I started dressing modestly, and covering my hair, my DP was REALLY worried that people would think he was some oppressive bastard who made me dress that way. slowly he found that people didn't look at him weird, and he got used to it and it no longer bothered him. If your hubby's concern is wanting to see you in skimpier clothing more, maybe making a habit of wearing sexier things at home/with him in private might help reassure him that just because you want to cover up more in public, he still gets to see a lot of you dressed sexy. etc.

To frugalmama,
I think that a moderately full (full enough that she can run, not so full it's inclined to fly up at the least breeze.) skirt/dress that is to the knees/above the knees combined with leggings (which are completely not see through, unlike tights, and have sort of a "pant"-ness to them, rather than an "underthing"-ness) would be much better modesty wise than say a skort, depending on the activity, and if your daughter plays hard. With a skort, say, if they're playing softball and she slides for a base, or if she falls or dives for a ball playing some activity, there's a definitely possibility of seeing up the skort if they haven't changed much from my day. Whereas with leggings (or even tight shorts) under the skirt, yes you'll see up the skirt if it flys up or she falls, but there's nothing to see.

Depending on the activity longer skirts might be perilous or immodest. I've worn ankle length skirts irish dancing a time or two and it turns out not only are knee length skirts cuter for it (the dancing is all foot-work which you can't see in an ankle length skirt), they are more modest for that activity. With the long skirts, I'd often step in/on them and pull them down dangerously low. Knee length skirts, my feet don't get tangled in them, and I don't pull them down with my feet. (running could cause the same problem.)
post #527 of 591
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magelet View Post
To frugalmama,
I think that a moderately full (full enough that she can run, not so full it's inclined to fly up at the least breeze.) skirt/dress that is to the knees/above the knees combined with leggings (which are completely not see through, unlike tights, and have sort of a "pant"-ness to them, rather than an "underthing"-ness) would be much better modesty wise than say a skort, depending on the activity, and if your daughter plays hard. With a skort, say, if they're playing softball and she slides for a base, or if she falls or dives for a ball playing some activity, there's a definitely possibility of seeing up the skort if they haven't changed much from my day. Whereas with leggings (or even tight shorts) under the skirt, yes you'll see up the skirt if it flys up or she falls, but there's nothing to see.

Depending on the activity longer skirts might be perilous or immodest. I've worn ankle length skirts irish dancing a time or two and it turns out not only are knee length skirts cuter for it (the dancing is all foot-work which you can't see in an ankle length skirt), they are more modest for that activity. With the long skirts, I'd often step in/on them and pull them down dangerously low. Knee length skirts, my feet don't get tangled in them, and I don't pull them down with my feet. (running could cause the same problem.)
I'm leaning towards the Short dress & leggings idea {but that requires buying leggings so IDK if we'll be able to right now as it depends what we find at our cheap clothing store}.

They are doing activities such as these:
1) follow the leader to introduce the kids to each other
2) ball skills (dribbling, throwing through a hoop, kicking)
3) parachute play
4) "Don't wake the lion" - one child is the sleeping lion and the others sneak up on him/her and s/he tries to catch them before they get behind the safety line
5) mat time with the wedge - set out the mats so they can practice tumbling and also the wedge so they can roll downhill or somersault (do this for the last 30 mins)
6) "baseball" - set a ball on top of a cone and have them try to hit it
7) Kickball


It's the tumbling that I worry about modesty the most in - DD will LOVE it as she loves anything where she can do gymnastics moves, but finding clothing that stays on her is tricky due to her build {tall, broad shouldered and petite for the rest.
post #528 of 591
yeah, I'd say she needs shorts or tights of some kind for tumbling. if you can't find any at the store, maybe you can make some shorts?
post #529 of 591
Quote:
Originally Posted by frugalmama View Post
I'm leaning towards the Short dress & leggings idea {but that requires buying leggings so IDK if we'll be able to right now as it depends what we find at our cheap clothing store}.

They are doing activities such as these:
1) follow the leader to introduce the kids to each other
2) ball skills (dribbling, throwing through a hoop, kicking)
3) parachute play
4) "Don't wake the lion" - one child is the sleeping lion and the others sneak up on him/her and s/he tries to catch them before they get behind the safety line
5) mat time with the wedge - set out the mats so they can practice tumbling and also the wedge so they can roll downhill or somersault (do this for the last 30 mins)
6) "baseball" - set a ball on top of a cone and have them try to hit it
7) Kickball


It's the tumbling that I worry about modesty the most in - DD will LOVE it as she loves anything where she can do gymnastics moves, but finding clothing that stays on her is tricky due to her build {tall, broad shouldered and petite for the rest.
WalMart carried Geranimals, and they usually have leggings available. And since it's summer, you might check and see if the cotton capris are available. They usually run about $3. I got several pairs for DD about 2 years ago, and she is still able to wear them.
post #530 of 591
JamieCatherine: I've run into similar feelings from my DH. As Magelet said, a lot of it is that he wants others to see that he has a nice looking wife - not one who is "on display" by dressing immodestly, but also not one who's too "frumpy" or out-of-style. And if I ONLY wore very modest and/or shapeless clothing, both at home & out, he'd really miss seeing more of my body.

I feel prettier/more feminine & DH prefers if I have a nice-fitting skirt as opposed to pants that are too baggy. So I've been wearing skirts a lot more lately. I still have some very nice clothes from my pre-modest dressing days that I can't bear to get rid of, so I started wearing those around the house when DH's home. It's interesting that that's what a lot of muslimahs do (as Neveryoumindthere said). I'm Christian, but it just seemed like a good idea to still get use out of the clothes & make my DH (very) happy.

Just as I wouldn't want him to "let himself go" or wear something in public that I considered really ugly/embarrassing, for his sake I don't want to do that to myself either. So I try to look nice for him & make sure he's happy with what I'm wearing.

Maybe you could discuss things with your DH to find out what he'd most prefer you wear (or what he most dislikes)?
post #531 of 591
I posted a ways back on the thread about a Maternity formal gown, meant to subscribe but forgot to. I never did go to that ball but I have the opportunity to go this year and once again Im pregnant. I did find a pattern (if anyone is in the same boat I am) that is easy to convert to maternity. Gown Pattern

As for an an introduction. Im a SAHM of two beautiful girls. Ive been dressing more and more modest since I got back from Iraq in 2005 and started to wear skirts/tops only earlier this year. Partly its because of my religion and partly because its just more comfotable, especially living in a miltiary community. Even dressing modestly, wearing a wedding band and having two children/beinging pregnant isn't enough to get some of the guys around here to leave you alone. I was asked out again tonight when we were shopping for kids shoes.

One question, anyone else have a problem with their shirts sagging open when they bend over. I have noticed lately a lot that when I bend down to help one of my girls I end up giving people a free peep show without meaning to. Doesn't help Im a well endowed person (34Gs, possible bigger, I need to order new bras) and getting shirts that fit me is hard. Also, anyone know where to get good maternity shirts that aren't really really low cut? Im overseas (Japan) so I would need to order online but the only shirts at the PX are low enough cut that my DH told me only place Im wearing that is in the bedroom (it was really bad, I couldn't believe how low cut some of the stuff was).
post #532 of 591
I have found that camis really help a lot. A lot of the plus size shirts that I have are lower cut than I am comfortable with, but I scored a lot of camis that make the shirts much more modest.
Check the maternity websites for nursing camis. Also, Lane Bryant has a nice selection. I am very fond of the lace topped ones- they are longer and higher.

I hope these links are helpful
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/produc...scid=488848472
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/produc...d=1&pid=488848
http://www.motherhood.com/Product.as...ategory_Id=MC2
http://www.motherhood.com/Product.as...ategory_Id=MC2
(my favorite cami!) http://www.lanebryant.com/tops/camis...cat=335%406000
http://www.lanebryant.com/tops/camis...cat=335%406000
http://www.lanebryant.com/tops/camis...cat=335%406000
http://www.lanebryant.com/tops/camis...cat=335%406000
post #533 of 591
Frugalmama, we have found that bike shorts underneath skirts for our girls works nicely, also capri leggings. They are actually not allowed to wear their skirts to school without something like that underneath, since it's a Montessori and they spend a lot of time up and down on the floor and would be flashing anyone and everyone without the underthings.

I found some decent bike shorts at Frenchtoast.com for dd1 and they have lasted now 3 years, so I am getting my money out of them. Dd2 wears the capri leggings I find on clearance plus a coupon from children's place because the ones I find at goodwill or thrifts tend to have lost their stretch/elastic. I don't pay more than $3 a pop for them and they have lasted 2 years which is pretty good for being worn and washed at least twice a week in a hot climate.

Skirts much longer than their knees get caught up in their legs when they do tumbling or sports though; it can be perilous.
post #534 of 591
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickarolaberry View Post
Frugalmama, we have found that bike shorts underneath skirts for our girls works nicely, also capri leggings. They are actually not allowed to wear their skirts to school without something like that underneath, since it's a Montessori and they spend a lot of time up and down on the floor and would be flashing anyone and everyone without the underthings.

I found some decent bike shorts at Frenchtoast.com for dd1 and they have lasted now 3 years, so I am getting my money out of them. Dd2 wears the capri leggings I find on clearance plus a coupon from children's place because the ones I find at goodwill or thrifts tend to have lost their stretch/elastic. I don't pay more than $3 a pop for them and they have lasted 2 years which is pretty good for being worn and washed at least twice a week in a hot climate.

Skirts much longer than their knees get caught up in their legs when they do tumbling or sports though; it can be perilous.
I'll have to look into those - right now we've come up with a PE outfit that is a parker uniform skirt with shorts under {it's kinda like a skort but looks like a skirt front and back} paired with a polo shirt. Now if I could just find another couple skirts like it in the next size we'll be good for the year.
post #535 of 591
Hi, I'm new here but have read through this thread and the covering one and figured I better join so that I can talk with people who are into dressing more conservatively/modestly.

I live by the ocean and I know of only one person that dresses modestly and I've only seen her twice and that was when I felt I was being called to dress more modestly. Of course since I've started I haven't seen her at all to strike up a conversation.

Since I'm a christian of no particular flavor, I've been very careful to not try and appear as something I am not. I wear knee length or longer skirts, shirts have to have sleeves (slowly switching to elbow length as I find them) and be no more than 4 fingers down from my collar bone. If I wear jeans (I do not wear shorts at all unless swimming) I am wearing tunics or short dresses that cover my bottom over them. I have found that layers are my friend.

I have tried covering my hair as well (I really, really like the hijab style but again don't want to represent myself as something I am not) but where I live, that just draws WAY to much attention and being rather shy, I don't like that feeling at all.

Anyway, sorry this is so long. I'm just thrilled to have found a group of people that are on this journey of modesty also.
post #536 of 591
Quote:
Originally Posted by bythesea View Post
Hi, I'm new here but have read through this thread and the covering one and figured I better join so that I can talk with people who are into dressing more conservatively/modestly.

I live by the ocean and I know of only one person that dresses modestly and I've only seen her twice and that was when I felt I was being called to dress more modestly. Of course since I've started I haven't seen her at all to strike up a conversation.

Since I'm a christian of no particular flavor, I've been very careful to not try and appear as something I am not. I wear knee length or longer skirts, shirts have to have sleeves (slowly switching to elbow length as I find them) and be no more than 4 fingers down from my collar bone. If I wear jeans (I do not wear shorts at all unless swimming) I am wearing tunics or short dresses that cover my bottom over them. I have found that layers are my friend.

I have tried covering my hair as well (I really, really like the hijab style but again don't want to represent myself as something I am not) but where I live, that just draws WAY to much attention and being rather shy, I don't like that feeling at all.

Anyway, sorry this is so long. I'm just thrilled to have found a group of people that are on this journey of modesty also.
welcome to the tribe!
I posted some links for youtube videos regarding different headcovering styles in the cover-ed girls thread. Look at some of those and see if any of those styles strike your fancy.
post #537 of 591
Hi Momma's! I am Jewish (reform) I dress modestly and I cover my hair but more like what you see at Garland's of Grace. I wear 3/4 sleeve or full sleeve tops, I do layering, skirts/dresses below knee to the ankle and wide leg pants.
post #538 of 591
Ladies-
OneStopPlus has body suits!
I was entirely too excited to see them! Now I don't have to worry about showing off a little too much when I sit or bend over!
They have them in women's, tall, petite, and misses

http://www.onestopplus.com/clothing/...roductTypeId=1

http://www.onestopplus.com/clothing/...roductTypeId=1

Oh, and some super cute jean skirts, as well.
post #539 of 591
those are very nice.
post #540 of 591

Jewish modest dresser here.  Wear skirts out of the house and no sleeveless.  having a hard time with DD who goes to a school where all girls where skirts, but on weekends at birthday parties all girls wear yoga pants, etc.  she is 7.  she was the only girl wearing skirts at a gym party.  maybe she should go to a more observant school where the girls wear modest clothing out of school also?  it seems so hard to make your child the outsider, even when it's in your own community, supposedly.

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