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How to tame the hair monster?

post #1 of 33
Thread Starter 
My daughter is af/jamacian/white

Her hair is very soft and curly on top to about the bottom of her ears. there it becomes very hard and nappy.

I have tried:
Johnson and Johnson Regular/ with conditoner
Olive oil
Coconut oil (with best results)
Pink ( Horrible)
Infusion 23 (alright)
Precious baby

Among others

They all leave her hair greasy. Not manageable either. I brush her hair before her bath and after. I wash her hair 3 times a week with the best results.

I dotn want straight hair but I dont want nappy either. Her hair is naturally very curly and I would like to encourage that.

What am I doing wrong. Can someone give a clueless mom a clue
post #2 of 33
Might I respectfully suggest that you re-frame how you look at her hair. It is what it is. Black girls have so many issues with hair that, as her mom, you need to encourage her to love it no matter what texture it takes or how unmanageable it is at times. I also take issue with your use of the word "nappy". Nappy is beautiful and simply means "natural state". That said, I suggest that you use natural products like olive oil, shea butter, or coconut oil.Also check out www.oyinhandmade.com I love their products--all natural and homemade. Use these oils when her hair is wet. It might be easy to divide it into sections, plait it up and comb out small parts at a time. A very cute style on black girls is a single "afro puff" or two "afro puffs"-attained by parting her hair straight down the middle and gathering with an elastic band (not rubber) on both sides of her head. Do you know how to cornrow? If not, perhaps you can find someone who can do nice cornrows. They last for a good period of time depending on circumstances. Best of luck with your sweet baby!
post #3 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by nevaehsmommy View Post
. I wash her hair 3 times a week with the best results.

try washing it MAYBE twice a week AT MOST! i only wash/shampoo my hair once a week(sometimes longer) i'm bi-racial like your dd, by over washing it you are stripping the hair of it's natural oils, which in turn will make it much harder to manage .

for my dd i use Soft & Beautiful "JUST FOR ME" i love the detangler and oil moisturizing lotion.

a important key is also to keep the hair well mositurzed but not oily/greesy. For me and dd's hair i have to put in the OML(Oil moisturizing lotion) in while our hair is still damp and warm from bathing.


good luck mama! the hair monster is a pita to deal with, but once you have found the techniques & products that work for you it's much more easier to deal with
post #4 of 33
I use this on my hair. I love it. And believe me, I have tried more than my fair share of hair products. Now if I could just find someone who knew how to cut my hair...

Oh, and this one is good, too.
post #5 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthgirl View Post
I use this on my hair. I love it. And believe me, I have tried more than my fair share of hair products. Now if I could just find someone who knew how to cut my hair...

Oh, and this one is good, too.
Leave in conditioners are great. I use them on my hair to keep it from getting so tangled.
post #6 of 33
I really like the Curly Q stuff at Curls.biz
We use the shampoo and the conditioner and I like the spray.
I like their milkshake leave-in too, but for my dd's texture I recently found the Herbal Essence leave in conditioner works best. My dd has looser curls, and her problem area is the back of her head- it tends to get matted from sleeping, naptime at school, back of car seats, etc.

The oyin stuff was very nice, but definitely was not for my dd's hair.
post #7 of 33
Thread Starter 
Purple girl - I meant no disrespect. Honest. Nappy is how I have always heard hair that looks like hers described. As for her hair it is wonderful to mange and I think it is bueatifal except below her ears. Not sure why it suddenly chnages at the ear level. I have also been putting her hair in the two pony tails. I just dont know what to do after that. I would love some one to show me how to "corn row" her hair and put the beads and things in but around her no knows how and in town, the mothers that do know how have their own issues. Is there a web site that show step by step. Also her hair is very tightly curled.

I have been putting her cocnut oil on in the bath as one mom suggested with good results. My mom bought her some hair lotion. It keeps the curls, as curls and not going in one hundred different ways but it leaves a white residue on her hair no matter how much or how little I use.

I was watching one of the shows on the tube talking about chemicals in har products causing reproductive issue. With my histroy it is kinda scary. I looked at the labels in the bathroom and ALL except the coocnut oil and oilve oil contained Sodium Lura... Sulphate.

I will check out the links. Again I meant no disrepect to anyone.

Christina
post #8 of 33
could you just cut her hair at her ears? if it's just unruly at the ends, would that help? then you can just start kinda start over, no?
post #9 of 33
Thread Starter 
Does the bueaty with out cruelty really smell bad?
post #10 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by nevaehsmommy View Post
Purple girl - I meant no disrespect. Honest. Nappy is how I have always heard hair that looks like hers described. As for her hair it is wonderful to mange and I think it is bueatifal except below her ears. Not sure why it suddenly chnages at the ear level. I have also been putting her hair in the two pony tails. I just dont know what to do after that. I would love some one to show me how to "corn row" her hair and put the beads and things in but around her no knows how and in town, the mothers that do know how have their own issues. Is there a web site that show step by step. Also her hair is very tightly curled.

I have been putting her cocnut oil on in the bath as one mom suggested with good results. My mom bought her some hair lotion. It keeps the curls, as curls and not going in one hundred different ways but it leaves a white residue on her hair no matter how much or how little I use.

I was watching one of the shows on the tube talking about chemicals in har products causing reproductive issue. With my histroy it is kinda scary. I looked at the labels in the bathroom and ALL except the coocnut oil and oilve oil contained Sodium Lura... Sulphate.

I will check out the links. Again I meant no disrepect to anyone.

Christina
No disrespect taken Christina. The politics of black hair---so frustrating and difficult from a black woman's perspective. Unfortunately, things haven't changed that much since I was a kid and I don't want another child to have to endure feelings of self hate or wishing that she had long, straight hair!! I wished my mom had encouraged me to love what God gave me rather than promoting a process that further denigrated my self esteem.
You should like a very conscience mama who only wants what is best for her little one. I hope you find things that work! I know you will. You've gotten a lot of wise advice and suggestions from the mamas here who more experience with little girls' hair than I do
post #11 of 33
Thread Starter 
thatblonegirl-my mom has suggested binding her head like the chinnese do the feet to help with her huge head. I dont think it would work, just a sign of a smart kid. As for cutting her hair hair, I would try it if I though it would work but It would be more like shaved bc the area of hair that is unrully is on the back of her head and does not grow. She has really pretty hair, long with kinda flowing curls ( the kind you pay big bucks for at the salon) It also has red highlight (where did those come from?) I called our local health emporium today. The lady I spoke with recommended a leave in condtioner and shea butter.


We shall add these products to our list. I really though coconut oil was my life line.
post #12 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by nevaehsmommy View Post
thatblonegirl-my mom has suggested binding her head like the chinnese do the feet to help with her huge head.
huh? was that a joke?
post #13 of 33
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunnybee View Post
huh? was that a joke?

NO. She was quite serious. We talked her in to letting her just wear a hat I know its sounds bad but she had good intentions

The doctor did remark when she was pulled out that she had a huge head. She was a c-section so no being in the vaginal cannal to long either. Her head was in the 75% at birth. She was in the 10% for weight for age so it looked even bigger....
post #14 of 33
What cleansers or shampoos do you use?

I also noticed you said your brush her hair, I never ever use a brush on dd's hair although we have a wide variety of combs to use.

I would suggest only washing with a cleanser or shampoo only 1X a week, and the other 2 times you could only "wash" it with conditioner.

I let dd's conditioner stay in her hair 5-10 minutes in the bath (I comb it in with a wide toothed comb) and then when she gets out I add a leave in conditioner and comb that in.
post #15 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaffNowCryLater View Post
What cleansers or shampoos do you use?

I also noticed you said your brush her hair, I never ever use a brush on dd's hair although we have a wide variety of combs to use.

I would suggest only washing with a cleanser or shampoo only 1X a week, and the other 2 times you could only "wash" it with conditioner.

I let dd's conditioner stay in her hair 5-10 minutes in the bath (I comb it in with a wide toothed comb) and then when she gets out I add a leave in conditioner and comb that in.

Yes. I agree with this too.
post #16 of 33
Thread Starter 
What is wrong with a brush? I got it in the ethnic hair section. Its bristles are really close to one another.

When I wash her hair I use baby shampoo. I will cut back to once a week. The other days she has a water only bath. No soaps of any kind. I wet her hair and let the cocnut oil kinda seep in. If she is in the tub for 30 minutes or 10 minutes thats how long the oil is in for.
post #17 of 33
My little sister is bi-racial. And my Step-mom had quite a time figuring out how to work with her hair. She took her to a salon that specializes in the AA hair for awhile to have it braided.

Then she had it dreaded, basically a type of braid that you tighten up at the scalp every once in a while when it grows out, then it begins to dread. She has been doing this for the last 2 years, she's now 10. It's very cute.
post #18 of 33
a brush makes curly hair poof all out and frizzy and doesn't define the curls.

How old is your dd? Could you not use baby shampoo anymore? I would recommend a shampoo made specifically for curly hair that is moisturizing.
post #19 of 33
I'm not biracial but I used to frequent www.longhaircommunity.com and they always had loads of advice and natural things to use on your hair, even if your goal wasn't longer hair just healthier.

I lost over 1/2 of my hair so went there looking for advice.I no longer use shampoo at all, for the past couple years now, and only use water-soluble products, and now it's quite healthy and a lot has grown back.

: Hope I'm not intruding. I really learned a lot from that site.
post #20 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by nevaehsmommy View Post
Does the bueaty with out cruelty really smell bad?
I like the way it smells, but it does not smell like your typical beauty products. It's scented w/ essential oils so it comes on a little strong in the beginning. If you're worried about the smell, the Giovanni stuff has a much milder scent.

BTW, I agree w/ the info you got about brushing. Get yourself a really wide toothed comb, or just finger comb it. My mom used to brush my hair and it took me until almost high school to figure out that my hair should not be getting brushed.

Oh, I thought of something else. I only was my hair once a week at most, but I put conditioner on it almost every day.
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