How to tame the hair monster? - Page 2

[nevaehsmommy]

Originally Posted by earthgirl

Oh, I thought of something else. I only was my hair once a week at most, but I put conditioner on it almost every day.

Sorry I ask to many questions.

If you only wash once a week how do you prevent buildup? Also wouldnt your hairy be oily in a bad way, not healthy looking.

How do you get the tangles out with only a comb?

My daughter will be two in 24 days. Yes we are on the countdown. I am afraid to use regular shampoo on her bc dont want to fight about soap in her eyes.

[shayinme]

Originally Posted by purplegirl

Might I respectfully suggest that you re-frame how you look at her hair. It is what it is. Black girls have so many issues with hair that, as her mom, you need to encourage her to love it no matter what texture it takes or how unmanageable it is at times. I also take issue with your use of the word "nappy". Nappy is beautiful and simply means "natural state". That said, I suggest that you use natural products like olive oil, shea butter, or coconut oil.Also check out www.oyinhandmade.com I love their products--all natural and homemade. Use these oils when her hair is wet. It might be easy to divide it into sections, plait it up and comb out small parts at a time. A very cute style on black girls is a single "afro puff" or two "afro puffs"-attained by parting her hair straight down the middle and gathering with an elastic band (not rubber) on both sides of her head. Do you know how to cornrow? If not, perhaps you can find someone who can do nice cornrows. They last for a good period of time depending on circumstances. Best of luck with your sweet baby!

Great advice, as a Black woman with biracial kids, 2 puffs is what I do for my dd's hair. Easy and cute, or when I detangle her I let her wear it out totally free.

Purplegirl is correct please be mindful of the language you use as your dd grows up, now personally nappy is a compliment to me, I am a nappy headed woman with locs . Yet it took years to hear nappy as a compliment instead of the negative that its always seen as, and since I am guessing you are white, it might be harder for your dd to hear that language coming from you.

By the way, it does sound like washing only 1x a week will be better, I wash my locs every 7-10 days and they are fine. My dd has curly hair that is more white textured so washing daily works well with her but when my son was a baby I washed his hair just a couple times a week.

As for tangles, order the Greg juice from Oyin, I use that on my dd as well as my los and its amazing. When I detangle, I lightly dry her head (she is 2.75) and spritz her hair with the grad juice and sit her down (takes at least 20 minutes) an gently detangle, the greg juice helps a ton.

Shay

Shay

[LaffNowCryLater]

A wide toothed comb with conditioned hair is fairly simple to get tangles out.

A 2 year old usually doesn't have 'greasy' hair that needs to be washed that often. The more you wash, the more her pores will go into overdrive to replace the natural oils that were stripped. I am white and I only need to wash my own hair 3 times max a week b/c I don't over strip my hair and my pores don't over produce oil.

[earthgirl]

Originally Posted by nevaehsmommy

Sorry I ask to many questions.

If you only wash once a week how do you prevent buildup? Also wouldnt your hairy be oily in a bad way, not healthy looking.

How do you get the tangles out with only a comb?

My daughter will be two in 24 days. Yes we are on the countdown. I am afraid to use regular shampoo on her bc dont want to fight about soap in her eyes.

OMG, I WISH I could have a little bit of oily hair. My hair is dry as a bone so I never have to worry about build-up. And as the pp said, a wide tooth comb works great at tangles. The trick (and often a PITA) is styling hair while it's still damp. This is why I love a good leave-in conditioner. It really helps keep things smooth and tangle free.

[rootzdawta]

A good conditioner like pp suggested and coconut oil works wonders along side a nice variety of combs.. Wash once weekly, condition, oil. Part hair into quadrants using a long-tailed comb. Hold each section separate with a loose braid or clip or ponytail holder. Work on on quadrant at a time. Divide each quadrant into four sections. With your wide tooth comb, comb out the first section. Switch to a finer tooth comb and comb. Then the finest tooth comb. Once I have successfully detangled that section, I like to braid it nice and tight (not too tight). Work on each section till that quadrant is done. Do the same to each quadrant. When you are done detangling, loose all the braids (or however you held together each detangled section) and you should now be able to gently comb through the hair with your wide tooth comb. The hair is now ready to be styled--twisted, braided, afro puffs, etc . . .

You can make up a daily spray for your child's hair to help keep it hydrated: I use 1 part oil (jojoba) to 8 parts water. Sometimes I add some glycerin and some of the same conditioner I use when washing. Sometimes I add essential oils like rosemary and lavender for a nice smell and to stimulate growth. Or you can just mist the hair with (a little) water and a dab of oil and run it through to help with styling it. Personally, I never combed my hair when it completely dry. Too much breakage. Oh, and like the pp, my hair is quite dry. Oiliness has never been the issue. HTH.

[kimiij]

Originally Posted by shayinme

Purplegirl is correct please be mindful of the language you use as your dd grows up, now personally nappy is a compliment to me, I am a nappy headed woman with locs . Yet it took years to hear nappy as a compliment instead of the negative that its always seen as, and since I am guessing you are white, it might be harder for your dd to hear that language coming from you.

I agree with everything Shay and Purplegirl said. Negative attitudes toward black hair from society is bad enough, but your own mother is worse. Love her hair and she will (be more likely to) learn to love it too. Good luck with learning to love her hair and also learning to comb it!

[sevenkids]

Echoing Purplegirl and Shay's comments;
her hair doesn't need to be tamed, it needs to be loved and treated right. You can't force it to do what white hair does.

When my girls were little, it was braids and plaits all the way, and they only wore it loose for special occasions. They never had their hair washed more than once a week, and it was a wonderful bonding ritual for us to wash and oil their hair and scalps on Sunday mornings and twist it into Nubian Knots like this.
I found that this hairstyle is not only rockin', but it really gets the oil into the entire hair shaft from root to end and made their hair soft and managable and easy to comb and made for happier mornings getting ready for school.
I never let them sleep with their hair loose, either, it always went into plaits at night. I never found their hair to be too greasy or oily using olive oil or coconut oil, their hair was "thirsty" and needed a touch-up with oil several times a week.

[purplegirl]

Originally Posted by sevenkids

Echoing Purplegirl and Shay's comments;
her hair doesn't need to be tamed, it needs to be loved and treated right. You can't force it to do what white hair does.

When my girls were little, it was braids and plaits all the way, and they only wore it loose for special occasions. They never had their hair washed more than once a week, and it was a wonderful bonding ritual for us to wash and oil their hair and scalps on Sunday mornings and twist it into Nubian Knots like this.
I found that this hairstyle is not only rockin', but it really gets the oil into the entire hair shaft from root to end and made their hair soft and managable and easy to comb and made for happier mornings getting ready for school.
I never let them sleep with their hair loose, either, it always went into plaits at night. I never found their hair to be too greasy or oily using olive oil or coconut oil, their hair was "thirsty" and needed a touch-up with oil several times a week.

O/T Seven!!

[nevaehsmommy]

I love the zulu knots. but what about something for short hair. If I were to pull her hair straight, her hair would be about 2 inches long. When it is as it is, it is in tight little ringlets ( thing shirly temple hair but much shorter)

[sevenkids]

Originally Posted by nevaehsmommy

I love the zulu knots. but what about something for short hair. If I were to pull her hair straight, her hair would be about 2 inches long. When it is as it is, it is in tight little ringlets ( thing shirly temple hair but much shorter)

Part the hair in smaller sections, like this

[sevenkids]

Originally Posted by purplegirl

O/T Seven!!

Hi, I miss you!!!!:

[soso-lynn]

My DD has a very interesting kind of hair. It was completely straight until recently when it started to curl very mildly. She has down to the middle of her back now (she is 3.75). Even straight, her hair is hard to manage. If I leave it just for a few hours loose, she gets little dreadlocks.

Anyhow, I do not wash it more than once a week and most of the time I just use conditioner, no shampoo. Then I use my DP's mixture of shea butter leave-in conditioner cream and water (to make a spray) and comb it. I only put the coconut grease after I brushed as it nourishes hair but makes it more difficult to comb IME. I usually make a braid on each side (I am horrible at everything that requires my hands and I barely manage to think of brushing my own hair).

As for the negative attitude towards black women's hair, I totally agree. I am so sick of people telling me that I am so lucky that my DD does not have 'nappy, black people hair' or, worse, that I am lucky I did not have a boy with her hair and complexion, because the Indian look is ok on a girl, not as much on a boy. (Yes, I have actually heard that several times from people who did not even think they were being disrespectful)

[Draupadi]

Do not overwash her hair. As someone else mentioned, washing strips her hair of its natural oils which will leave it frizzy.
I suggest "co-washing"- washing her hair only with conditioner a few times a week (use like you would use a shampoo) and giving her a shampoo wash maybe once a week or even less.
Don't use anything in her hair that has a "cone" ingredient- silicone, dimethicone. Anything that ends in "cone" is bad, bad, bad and will coat her hair and make it dull and frizzy.
Detangle her hair while she has conditioner in her hair and don't brush it. A widetoothed comb is gentler than a brush on curly hair. I would advise NOT using a brush at all if you want to encourage curls.
Use natural oils like coconut and shea.
I also second using Oyin Handmade products. Great stuff.
PMing you some other info...