What do you do when you feel it come back?

[Gemini]

Two weekends ago was a very stressful weekend and for three days I felt like I did before I started taking my meds. My hubby took me out for a movie and late night breakfast and I felt reconnected, but it was weird to have those feelings again.

Well, I feel it coming back again now. I went to my phsycologist and she mentioned upping my Zoloft from 50 to 100, so I'll call my doc tomorrow to adjust my script.

I wondered if you all had any advice as to dealing with these waves of hopelessness and depressing feelings beyond the meds. I want to get a grasp on this as I feel when it gets to be too much. I hate going backwards.

[Jish]

Just so I understand, you are currently on Zoloft at 50mg, right? I started Lexapro last year after I wound up in the hospital from undiagnosed depression. The nurses there would always tell me that depression is always up and down. Even on medication there will be low points, but not to get frustrated by them. I think they just wanted me to not get my hopes up too soon for a "cure."

I did indeed have a "relapse" so to speak, last December. I had been on the meds for 2 1/2 months. December hit and I felt all the anxiety and apathy that accompanies my depression come back. It sucked. After about two weeks I made an appointment with my psych thinking I needed my meds upped. By the time I got in the next week I was feeling better than ever.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't up your dosage. 50mg of Zoloft is the pretty standard starter dosage, but most people I know take at least 100mg. Unfortunately though, there will likely still be those bad days. It's when they turn into a week or more that I start to wonder if I need more.

Keep us posted on how you are doing, and good luck.

[gossamer]

Dear Gemini,
I am now taking 75 mg of Zoloft. I was diagnosed with depression 10 years ago.
One of the things I had to come to terms with, was the fear of ever feeling down. Now I tell myself that everybody feels down at times and sometimes even for a few days at a time. If I feel down for a few days, that does not mean I am spiraling down into the pit of depression. I also know if I don't come out of it, I know where to get help. I know what my resources are. Those are my messages of hope. I hope they help you.
Gossamer

[mom at home]

Gemini,
Your post could have been written by me. I have been on zoloft for 2 yrs almost exactly. In the last couple weeks, esp. the last couple days I feel like I felt before I started taking the meds. It's really scary. I've been thinking about uping my dose as well, but I just don't know. As Jish and Gossmer both said, I try to remember that there will ups and downs but I get really freaked out by these "regressions". In these two years, I've always had down times, but each time it always seems like the worst time. I wish I had an answer for you, but only empathy. Today I called the one pyschiatrist in my small town so I could talk to someone who understands these kind of meds well. My family doc who gave me the presription to begin with doesn't know that much. Unfortunately, his office was closed today. But maybe by Monday I'll be feeling better and hopefully you will be too.

Alison

[Gemini]

Thanks so much for your kind words ladies. And yes Jish, I'm currently on 50 mg of Zoloft.

Goss~It's makes so much sense about you talking about the fear of ever feeling down. I think I'm doing that! I didn't realize it nor would I have without someone else saying it! And yes Jish, what you said about feeling like it needs to be a "cure" *right now* helps to open my eyes too. Mom at home, you and I can think of each other and know were not alone!

My counselor told me to try and recognize what it is that set me off 2 weekends ago, and it was major stress. And I think what I was feeling a few days ago was the issue of my chronic pain I've been dealing with since June just finally bring me down to my last bit of strength. I finally am going to a neurologist to get an MRI to see if that sheds any light on my low back and leg issues. I'm literally on the verge of breaking with this pain, and I feel a little better knowing I'm trying one more thing to try to resolve it, *hopefully*.

I also sat down and talked to my hubby last night and just putting my feelings to words helps a lot. I always forget how much that can help. I think for me, it makes it seem a lot smaller than it really is, the issue that is. I make such monsters out of things in my mind, ya know??

Once again, thanks all. I'm glad to know some others know what I'm feeling.