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I did not expect this kind of hostility! - Page 2

post #21 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by hopefulfaith View Post
That is appallingly rude. Honestly - wow.
I did think it was rude, too, but I'm not sure if she realized how rude it was. You know how that is with people sometimes? She sounded really bitter and I think me and my wacko tv-free ways just happened to come across her in her unhappiness, so she lashed out because I was a convenient target. Like I said, I felt pretty sorry for her. You've got to be pretty miserable in your life to do something like that, I think.
post #22 of 51
People really feel the need to defend the tv.

My answer to why not has always been; "We just don't have time for tv." Which is true, my DS is too busy painting, playing, creating, drawing, building and growing to just sit infront of a screen.
post #23 of 51
I'm not TV-free, btw, just though I would put it out there so you can take my opinion with a grain of salt.
Back to original programming..

WTH? Who are these people? Why would they defend watching tv? Its TV, its not like...books! Now, if you chose to be book-free, them would be fighting words, but tv?
In all honesty, I would like to be tv-free myself. But I am weak. I am addicted to tv. Unless I have a good book.

seriously!
post #24 of 51
I've learned that some topics are better left alone, and so I do my best to not talk about the fact that we don't have a tv or that we homebirth, co-sleep and so on. It is really not anyone else's business...
post #25 of 51
When my mom comes to visit, she gets borderline angry that we don't have a TV! Also, this is off topic, but kind of funny....we had our house up for sale last summer and a few of our neighbors came by for our open house for fun. The first thing they all noticed was that we don't have a TV! One of the little kids said to me later "we have 8 TVs. You can have one of ours!" I thought that was cute. I told her we don't have a TV on purpose and she was like "oh yeah, that's good." Our other neighbors said they have a TV in every single room of their house, including their kitchen.
post #26 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Moomin* View Post
I've learned that some topics are better left alone, and so I do my best to not talk about the fact that we don't have a tv or that we homebirth, co-sleep and so on. It is really not anyone else's business...


Yeah, I tend not to talk about it much either.
post #27 of 51
It's definitely a topic, like bf'ing beyond two weeks () or co-sleeping, or what have you, that stirs deep emotions... probably because it goes right to the heart of how a person has chosen to parent.
post #28 of 51
I think TV is definitely a hot-topic for everyone.

When I went to college, my roommate brought the TV and the refridgerator. She left in the middle of teh year and took both of them with her.

Right away, my mom took me to BB to get a fridge. She said that she'd offer a small TV, but that I'd turn it down. And I did.

About 3 weeks later, my mom shows up at my dormroom with small 13-in TV/VCR combo. Appologizing profusely, she says that she and my SD were in the Sam's and he INSISTED on purchasing a TV for me.

The really FUNNY part is that 2 DAYS later, I receive a HUGE UPS package at school...from my Biological Dad! Guess what it is?????

13-in TV-VCR Combo!!!

We have one of the 13-inch in our livingroom for watching videos and DVDs.

I was raised much differently than most people with a TV. My mom allowed 2 HOURS of TV per day. It was not on unless we were sitting down and WATCHING it. (momma-approved programming, of course) So now, my reaction to TV is to SIT DOWN and WATCH it if one is on in a room. I can't STNAD to have it on as "Background noise".

Mrs Bernstein
post #29 of 51
What I find fairly effective is to label people's behavior. If someone starts acting very defensive I say, "You are responding in a very defensive manner and I didn't attack you. What's going on with that?" It leads to some really interesting conversations.

I'm still only pregnant and people are already asking me why don't we have a tv--how are we going to entertain the children. Oy. We don't have a tv because they bug the heck out of me and I feel hostile and angry the entire time tv is on. No good reason for the reaction;no trauma from childhood. I just loathe tv.
post #30 of 51
I didn't read this whole thread but I just wanted to put this out there...

My favorite "comeback" for anyone lecturing me on one of my parenting decisions is "you know, you might be right" very politely - and drop it. I got that idea from a friend who uses it a lot. It makes the other person feel validated, so they stop bothering you, but doesn't agree to do anything, so you're still off the hook.
post #31 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juvysen View Post
My favorite "comeback" for anyone lecturing me on one of my parenting decisions is "you know, you might be right" very politely - and drop it. I got that idea from a friend who uses it a lot. It makes the other person feel validated, so they stop bothering you, but doesn't agree to do anything, so you're still off the hook.
I came to this, too, and I really do believe it when I say it. They might be right. Certainly, they are right for themselves, at that time. It takes ME completely off the defensive, which is cool, and that alone radiates out.

I don't tell people that we don't watch tv, either. I just answer specifically and honestly. Them: "Have you seen such-and-such? Does he watch such-and-such?" Me: "No, I haven't seen it. Tell me about it. No, he doesn't, what's it like?" etc.
post #32 of 51
Sadly, some Americans view tv as American as apple pie and mom. If you say you are tv free, or you express a wish to be tv-free (or even tv-limited), they see that as strange and an affront to their values.

I find it weird that people are so strongly opinionated about tv!
post #33 of 51
What a good thread! For me it's a great way of getting off the topic of other odd things we do/did, bw'ing, bf'ing, co sleeping, just mention no TV and they forget whatever the topic was
post #34 of 51
Yikes! Makes me glad I grew up TV-free (until we got a B/W set when I was 8 to watch the Olympics!) My parents have one TV, parked on the very hot 3rd floor of their house, that we never think to turn on anyway. My Mom LOVES that we're TV free. In fact, my SIL and brother are TV free as well (we do both do occasional video though).

It's also a very good thing that my MIL doesn't visit us. DH grew up on a steady diet of TV and milkshakes !
post #35 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by fujiyama_mama View Post
I seem to hear alot that if your kids don't watch TV they won't be "normal". How will they relate to other children, etc?

I know I'm not the only one that thinks those people must be out of thier bleedin minds!
There is one gentleman at my work (who I actually do like very much) that seems to think my son is going to have emotional issues because he doesn't watch tv. . . now where exactly is that logic coming from? I mean, it seems like TV gives people more problems then the reverse, but oh well . . .

Something else that never ceases to amaze me is when people ask what we do instead of watch TV. I mean, seriously! Let's see . . . I don't know . . . read a book?
post #36 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage_SS View Post
I have family members that don't want to come over because there's no TV in the livingroom. They loudly complain when they do come that there's nothing to look at, nothing to do.
That's amazing. I have one relative that I don't like to visit, because the tv is always on - and she's usually on the PC, as well. She doesn't interact at all with the people visiting her (she even did this on Christmas Eve). I'd love to go over there and find the tv was off...or gone...
post #37 of 51
I haven't gotten much hostility, although I rarely talk about it with others. DS is so young (only 2.5) that up until now he hasn't come under any social pressure. He's in daycare, but they are completely tv-free there and the only characters that creep in are if the kids have them on their lunchbox, etc. That's starting to change now that he's having more play dates, etc. and I know he will be over at other kids' houses where tv may be on. I'll have to cross that bridge, and may just need to ask that TV not be a part of a playdate (although I feel like there's no way to do that without sounding judgmental!).

When I do notice hostility it is usually from older people - people who grew up at a time when TV was considered the most wonderful revolutionary thing to happen to humankind. These people CANNOT understand why someone wouldn't let their child watch cartoons. An older man the other day asked DS "what are your favorite cartoons" and I quickly said "oh, he doesn't really watch them" and he said "why not?" and I said "we don't watch much television" and he said "what? How can you not let him watch cartoons!!" The way he acted I might have just as easily said "I don't let him go outdoors". My parents have been very supportive even though my mom will occasionally start harping on the fact that there are "some really great educational programs..." ugh..
post #38 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldfinch View Post
I think it can be because they have some underlying insecurities about their own decision.
:
Usually when I say "I don't watch much TV" the other person says "oh, me neither". We all know TV is not good for us, so many of us automatically get defensive or offensive, depending on our personality.
post #39 of 51
We just moved off grid and decided not to move our TV. We have never had cable, but did use rabbit ears and have DVDs. When DHs parents realized this they were taken aback quite a bit. FIL made the comment that we were short changing our girls. I really don't think so. We'll see what happens.
post #40 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by gemelos View Post
Our other neighbors said they have a TV in every single room of their house, including their kitchen.
That's my brother and his wife. Every room of the house, including the kitchen and bathrooms (!!!).

We've lived without television for years at a time. We currently have network tv hooked up, though, and will occasionally turn it on. I remember people really getting defensive when they'd discover we had no tv. Suddenly, I was a terrible parent for "forbidding" my child entertainment and keeping him sheltered. I was denying him a common bond with other children. I was going to make him "weird."

Good. I like weird. :nana:

Of course, then they'd meet the little one and be all impressed with his creativity and social skills and his love of learning and.... That would usually quiet them for a while.
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