Originally Posted by rabbitmum
Me too! As if children have no rights, only "privileges".
I think stopping him from going to his friend's birthday party was an extremely harsh punishment. To call it a "consequence" doesn't change anything. The parents understood that this birthday party was a thing that they could really hurt him by taking from him. The fact that his mother went without him makes it even worse, I think.
One thing I cannot abide is dressing up a punishment as a 'consequence' to make it sound OK. Ugh.
I personally think that not allowing a child to go to such a big thing as a birthday party is way, way over the top, especially for a 6 yo. It makes me wonder how tough your punishments have to get if you come out guns blazing at this age.
I'm also surprised to see how many people say that they'd do the same. I am starting to feel more and more alone as a parent who does not punish my children. Gosh, even my friends who do punish have never gone as far as stopping their kids going to a birthday party at that age. It makes my head spin.
There are a zillion other ways to teach a child not to disappear on you, without doing something like this.
And to the OP, I personally feel that it was disrespectful to your ds for his friend not to show up to the party. If I did punish my kids like this, which I don't, I would never do something that would disappoint another child. IMO that's just plain rude and uncaring. And if I did do that because I had no clue what else to do, I'd certainly call ahead of time and explain and apologise.
But then I think I'm waaaay different to the mainstream, and even to those who identify as gentle discipline here.