WWYD..neighbor is dying

[hipumpkins]

We live in an apartment complex with many old people. the other day one of our lovely elderly ladies was taken out in an ambulance. Her son told me that she would probably not return as machines are keeping her alive.
My kids know her but I am not sure if they would notice if they never saw her again.
She would come outside here and there and talk to them or give them cookies but I doubt they would notice that she was gone since people do move in and out every now and then.
when she passes should I tell my kids and use this as a "death talk" or just let it go unless they ask about her.
My DS is till too little and I don't think he would "get it" anyway but DD knows about death from random frogs and fish and hermit crabs that we've had..my concern is that she will worry about death. Worry about me dying or anyone else. she hasn't had a person die in her life yet.

She's a bit of nervous kid so I just don't know what to do.

[Gwendolyn's babies]

well, I would tell her if she asked. Make it simple. The lady next door died. She was very old and sick.

My kids have been to furnerals and wakes and have seen dead bodies. They weren't tramatized. actually the person that had died (close friend) looked so peaceful (he had died in his sleep) that I wanted the boys (ages3 and 2) to see that it wasn't scary.

We pray for his soul to go to Jesus and the kids pray with me. But, you know your own kids and what they can handle. You see fit what is best for you.

[zeldamomma]

I wouldn't bring it up unless they ask about your neighbor. My dds had to learn about death at 4 & 5 and it's not a fun lesson.

[timneh_mom]

I would be honest about it, if they ask where she is, you can tell them then, or you can tell them when you find out. If you wait, they might wonder why you didn't tell them outright. I'd say tell them the lady died, and they will ask more about what death is, if they feel the need. I forgot what age kids start realizing that death is permanent, I remember at age 7 understanding it was permanent when my grandpa died but that was probably the only really significant event. Prior to that, we hadn't lost any pets or anything like that.

My son who is 3.5, understands the dried up worms on the pavement are dead. He hasn't asked me further what that means exactly, and I do not expect him to understand that it's permanent. But I think death should be approached as birth - be honest, but answer the questions as simply as possible, giving a little information at a time until they are satisfied with your answer. It's part of life and shouldn't be skirted around.