people think the know everything

[natty529]

i was at lunch with DH today and i overheard the woman next to us talking about her sister who just had a baby... she was telling her friend that the sister was doing "something called attachment parenting" and that that meant that the baby and mama were together ALL THE TIME- that the baby slept on the mama and that it was supposed to encourage bonding- which isn't really incorrect, the part that got me though was when neither of them seemed to undersand the point of this and seemed concerned that the baby would be way too attached to the mama and unable to be independent and socially stunted! :
i didn't say anything to them but i was thinking that the oppostite is true for ap children- that they are so secure in their bond that they don't have to worry about being away from their mama's and that they tend to be very outgoing and inquisitive- at least that is the case with children i know.

blah- people are irritating

ok- i'm done

[K's Mom!]

yeah some people just don't get AP at all. lol, too attached. What kid goes to college still sleeping next to mom and pops?

[chirp]

unfortunately dh is one of those people...he can't get passed the name...he thinks our son is going to be attached to us like ccrrraaaazzzy...

he's slowly learning though...and he lets me do whatever i want...so he'll see when the time comes how independent and driven our son will be!!

the proof is in the pudding!! The AP revolution cannot be stopped!!

On a slightly off topic note...I saw a woman the other day pulling her son through the bathroom. She yanked him out of the stall over to the sink...yanked him to a filled soap dispenser, yanked him over to the paper towels and yanked him out the door.

Now I don't know about all of you, but whenever i see a little boy, i think of the little boy in my uterus and this little boy is so cute (I see him every week at the bowling league we go to). And the whole time he just seemed so happy to be by his mom. And she was just yanking him. He probably would have been happy enough to just follow her around and out of the bathroom. It made my heart hurt.

[smeisnotapirate]

I'm surprised that convo wasn't followed by "well as soon as _____, she'll be changing her tune..." That's how mine usually end when I try to explain it. :

[tschecter]

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

I'm surprised that convo wasn't followed by "well as soon as _____, she'll be changing her tune..." That's how mine usually end when I try to explain it. :

you know, I agrre... I have gotten that a million and a half times with DS, mostly in the beginning... from family, who thought I fed him too often (apparently they forgot, despite most all being breastfed, how quickly babies digest it) from the NP at the peds office, who thought I would not want to carry him in a sling for more than a couple days (who also thought that you should not nurse more often than once ever 2-3 hours maximum, and only for 10 minutes per side no matter what, or "you will have no milk"), from family who thought I was crazy for doing cloth diapers...

and yet, despite all their "you'll learn"s and "you won't do that for long"s, here we are, DS is 2, exclusively cloth diapered, he weaned himself a few months ago when my milk dried up from pregnancy, and I carried him in the sling till he wasn't interexsted in being held alot anymore...

oh, and the ones who thought we would have him in the crib in days after he was born, lol... he never slept in it... went to a twin bed from our bed at a year old.

now, this time, i still get poeple, like my MIL, who insisted on buying sposie diapers for us that she knows i won't use... i said i would keep one small pack in the trunk of the car, incase we run out of cloth while out somewhere, and she bought like 5 giant cases. and she had the gonads to say, "oh, you won't be able to cosleep this time, you'll need to sleep"

well. duh, how do you think i ever got any sleep with DS??? only BECAUSE i coslept... cause puttinghim in the crib sure didn't work.

[ZoeyZoo]

I see how they get that message. When I first suggested several AP type things to DH (like cosleeping) he thought I was going to mess the baby up, the baby would never be social, etc. There's a Harvard study that actually said these kids are more sociable, adaptable, and better able to cope with stress. (Souces like the Dr. Sears books were no help with the argument.) That's what it took for DH to agree to give it a try.

[Molck]

This is why I'm so grateful for MDC, where people really DO know everything (or at least a heck of a lot!). It's so great to talk to people speaking from experience with AP to combat all the assumptions coming at me from the rest of the world.

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by Molck

This is why I'm so grateful for MDC, where people really DO know everything (or at least a heck of a lot!). It's so great to talk to people speaking from experience with AP to combat all the assumptions coming at me from the rest of the world.

Yes, yes, yes. That.

I get from the real world and from MDC.

[tuscany123]

I always wonder about the parents who whine that their teenagers just won't listen to them, and seem unnconnected. I want to scream and tell them " you probably encouraged them to be so independent of you as babies, and now you wonder why they want nothing to do with you now?"

AP rocks!! My DD is so independent at a 4.5 yrs, because she knows she is "safe". I didn't come across MDC until she was 3 months old, but as soon as I did, we became a co-sleeping family and loved it. Now though, she mostly sleeps in her own room, but comes to our bed now and again.

Great thread ....

[beanbean30]

My 2 1/2 and doesn't have tantrums, only cries when hurt and is very responsive to me and my DH, I believe it is because she is an AP child. Still happily nursing from time to time and sleeps in the family bed. We are a connected family and proud to be.

This pregnancy all I have heard from people is how I can not get so lucky this time and we will have a terror who won't sleep and tear up the house etc etc.

Could it be that I haven't pushed my DD away that she responds so well to me? Could it be that she is secure as she has never been allowed to cry it out?

Of course not! I just got lucky and my parenting style will come back to bite me on the ass (according to my sister) I keep hearing how it was all fine with one child but it'll be impossible to be an AP to my newborn too.

But Sc*w 'em I know better!!

[MarchWillow]

Sometimes I wish I had a mute button for the public. I haven't had to have any AP battle discussions yet. But as my due date approaches, and the questions and prodding continues, people are discovering my homebirth plans. People that I take college classes with...people who I considered educated...are giving me the most crap...my bad for assuming. In my Yoga class...yes yoga...where we have been assigned things like discovering and fixing your personal Chakras, organic nutrition etc etc...there are many people there who can't believe that I am having a homebirth. A couple of the girls are totally pro-cesarian...as in non-medical c-sec?!?!?!! They have been "nicely" trying to show me the light. I finally got snappy about it, and said I don't believe in c-sec if it can be avoided and I was happy with my homebirth. Now I am just the "crazy lady" *sigh* why are we crazy just because we don't do mainstream? I may not agree with c-sec, but I am not sitting in class trying to convince anyone else to change their birthing or parenting stylesjust because of my beliefs. I simply give honest and truthful answers about what I have discovered through my own research to those people who ask me for the information. why oh why do pregnant women seem to be like some sort of bait for everyones stupid know it all rants? I'm not stupid and ignorant just because I'm prenant. And no, I didn't get "knocked up" either...there was no knocking involved...I made love to my husband you idiot.

Sorry...got carried away...but yeah, I can totally relate. I keep saying I think it's time I get locked up til I give birth. One of these days I am simply going to explode all over some poor person who just asks how I'm feeling.

[BroodyWoodsgal]

Originally Posted by MarchWillow

...People that I take college classes with...people who I considered educated...are giving me the most crap...my bad for assuming. In my Yoga class...yes yoga...where we have been assigned things like discovering and fixing your personal Chakras, organic nutrition etc etc...there are many people there who can't believe that I am having a homebirth. A couple of the girls are totally pro-cesarian...as in non-medical c-sec?!?!?!! They have been "nicely" trying to show me the light. I finally got snappy about it, and said I don't believe in c-sec if it can be avoided and I was happy with my homebirth. Now I am just the "crazy lady" *sigh* why are we crazy just because we don't do mainstream? ...

This, right here, is the thing killing me.

I have done my best to surround myself with educated and more "crunchy" people....why, oh why, do I have to deal with so much crap from people who are supposed to be open minded, educated and respectful? I mean, there is nothing I am doing or planning on doing for my baby/family that is not backed by BOTH common sense and research...so why are these people the first to be judgemental nay-sayers? I never give anyone crap for the way they want to parent...even if it goes against what I consider to be the very fundemantals of how a family should operate. Why do people have to be so negative?? I want to sleep with my baby next to me...1. because oh my gosh have you ever smelled a baby?? and 2. because the closer the baby is to my nipples, the quicker I can feed her i nthe middle of the night when I don't feel like getting up every time she wants to eat. Why is it skin off of anyone elses azz if I want to do this.

"You're going to roll over on your baby and kill her in the night, imagine waking up to your baby, dead, that's what's going to happen" - Thank you, thank you for that incredibly positive well wishing....THAT is exactly what I needed to hear.

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by AverysMomma

"You're going to roll over on your baby and kill her in the night, imagine waking up to your baby, dead, that's what's going to happen" - Thank you, thank you for that incredibly positive well wishing....THAT is exactly what I needed to hear.

WTH??? Don't offer any solutions to keep you safer. Just say that you're going to kill your newborn.

People make me nuts sometimes.