S/O So, what's the difference: natural consequences, gentle discipline, punishment???

[mrsfatty]

So in the thread: Grr... your punishment just crushed MY kid! There seems to be confusion about what's considered "natural consequences," "gentle discipline" and "punishment"

I'm confused the difference between natural consequences, gentle discipline, and punishment. What definitions do you have for them?

I'm still learning...so consider me a dry sponge...if a kid runs away from mom and dad repeatedly--what would a natural consequence be, what would happen for "gentle discipline," and what would a punishment look like in this situation?

[lara1828]

A natural consequence would be the kid getting hit by a car. It is not imposed by the parent. A punishment would be taking away a much-looked-forward-to birthday party. Ahem..

My kids are not runners (knock on wood), so I'll let others answer that part.

Lara

[Adasmommy]

I agree that a natural consequence does not need to be thought of or imposed. It is natural. If you don't tie your shoes, you trip over the laces. If you refuse to wear a coat, you're cold. Stay up late; you're tired. Don't share; no one wants to play with you.

I'd figure punishment is when the parent inflicts a consequence for actions, and it is meant to be unpleasant so that the child will not want to do that action again for fear of the unpleasant punishment.

I'm not sure what the definition of Gentle Discipline is, but my version would involve instruction, setting examples, leading, etc and avoiding punishment. I don't think that making someone feel bad is a very good tool in teaching them good behavior and character.

Natural Consequence to running away: I'd argue that mom not taking you out anywhere for fear of losing you would be a natural consequence. Losing your parents' trust.

However, there is a difference between my not being willing to take my daughter out of the house, and my taking away her privilege to leave the house or go to a party. I'm not doing it as a punishment, I'm doing it to save my sanity or to keep my kid safe.

Doing nothing would be no discipline. Keeping your child at home until that behavior stops could be GD, requiring that the child hold hands at all times could be GD, discussing the danger and coming to an agreement about the solution would be best. If not possible, then at least explain why you're staying home or holding hands and enforce it kindly.