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Delivery Room Rights?  

post #1 of 19
4/29/08 at 5:37pm
Thread Starter 
I am married but separated from my husband. We do not have a good relationship. I am seven months pregnant (with his baby) and I absolutely DO NOT want him to be present in the delivery room with me. If he says he wants to be there can I legally refuse?? I know if he is there it will be very stressful for me and potentially cause problems for my labor and delivery. I don't have a problem with him waiting outside in the waiting area and then coming in shortly after. I just don't want him in the room during. I just don't know if fathers have a legal "right" to be present at the birth. Does anyone know?

Jennifer
post #2 of 19
4/29/08 at 5:44pm
Yes you can refuse to allow anyone in the room with you. You need to let the hospital staff know. They will likely place a note on your door that all visitors must check at nurses desk. Also when you check in have them flag your information so they give out NO information. HIPPA keeps them from giving out info so if you dont want him to know you even go to the hospital you have that right. They can and will have security escort him out for you. I would simply not tell him when you go in.

You also do NOT have to give the baby his last name You can choose to name the child what ever you wish and he cant change it without YOUR concent.
post #3 of 19
4/29/08 at 6:53pm
He definitely has no right to be there if you dont want him to. As PP said, I would inform the staff that you do not want them to give out info or let him in. You can call him once the baby is born if you want to, but even that is entirely up to you.
If he is the kind of person to make a scene, make sure you tell your family or whoever is going to know when you are in labour to not tell him.
post #4 of 19
4/29/08 at 6:54pm
As far as I have always understood it, no one has a "right" to be there except the mama giving birth.

L
post #5 of 19
4/29/08 at 6:56pm
Please check with your hospital policies and your state/local laws. There may be something that will allow him in there and you should take pre-emptive action to make things flow the way you want, especially while you are in the hospital. A TRO may be in order. Look into it.

Sorry this is happening to you.
post #6 of 19
4/29/08 at 7:40pm
At my hospital, a total of two "guests" may be in the delivery room with mom. Anyone else is not permitted (except for staff of course). You also have the option to have your information kept private - for example, if someone were to call up the hospital to see if you were there, you could choose to have the staff say, "Sure, she is in Room 123," or they could withhold that information.

I am sorry you're going through this at such an inopportune time. But know that you WILL be safe and protected. It'll be okay.
post #7 of 19
4/29/08 at 7:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBaxter View Post
You also do NOT have to give the baby his last name You can choose to name the child what ever you wish and he cant change it without YOUR concent.
I have to disagree on this one. It depends on the state. In my state if you are still married, the baby has to have the father's last name unless he signs a waiver or something. Its not something that's right IMO.

You do have the right to keep him out of the room when you're giving birth. Ditto what the other ladies said. Just let the nurses know and they'll keep him out.
post #8 of 19
4/29/08 at 8:02pm
No, you do not legally have to admit anyone.
post #9 of 19
4/29/08 at 8:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThreeBeans View Post
No, you do not legally have to admit anyone.
Do you have to legally admit the doctor?

Mama, try not to worry, if you absolutely do not want your h there just don't tell him when you go in. Do you even want him there to see the baby? or is he telling you what he is going to do, sounds kinda selfish.
post #10 of 19
4/29/08 at 9:03pm
I agree with the others, I just wouldn't call him and tell him that you're going and call him after the baby is born or when you get home.
post #11 of 19
4/29/08 at 9:06pm
I certainly hope you have the right to not have him there! Ugh. It's YOUR body. I can't imagine they could force you to let him in. Gross.

ITA with the 'just don't call him' folks. Go to a different hospital if you think he will try to find out and show up.
post #12 of 19
4/30/08 at 12:47am
Thread Starter 
Thank you for all the responses, that does make me feel better to know that he has no right to be in the delivery room if I do not want him to be there.

Jennifer
post #13 of 19
4/30/08 at 12:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by fireflybaby View Post
Thank you for all the responses, that does make me feel better to know that he has no right to be in the delivery room if I do not want him to be there.

Jennifer
I think you need to call the hospital and get this all set up rather than just taking the word of people online.
post #14 of 19
4/30/08 at 9:49am
I may call the hospital to verify if that would ease your mind, but really, as far as the hosptial is concerned, YOU are the patient, and they don't even know who the father is, until you fill out the BC. You are also the one in charge of your care. You can exclude anyone or everyone you like.

They can not legally release your info to anyone not related to you, however, due to him being your husband, it is possible for them to release info to him. So that part I would verify.

I agree with pps, don't call him until after you have the baby. Then there is no stress about the matter.
post #15 of 19
4/30/08 at 11:01am
Quote:
Originally Posted by forthebest View Post
Do you have to legally admit the doctor?
Well technically, no. If you were uncomfortable with the doctor who was there, or any member of the staff, you have the right to refuse treatment from them and request someone else. In practice, that may not exactly work, though...

I think it's highly unlikely that the husband has a right to be in the room, but it's possible that he has rights to the baby. In some states, whoever you're legally married to, or even were married to at what would be considered the time of conception even if you're now divorced, is assumed to be the father and it would take a difficult legal battle to leave them off the bc. I would find out about that, too.
post #16 of 19
4/30/08 at 12:41pm
Don't invite him to the hospital until you are okay with him seeing the baby. When I had Ds, I told family they could come wait, but I wanted an hour or so of bonding after Ds was born before they came in. Well, I was told later that my mom asked a nurse if he was born yet and she told him, "yeah, you can go right in." My mom was like, "what, I can go in?" And the nurse said, "yeah, sure, they're right in there, go right in." My mom was very tempted, but she knew me well, and knew she better stay out. This was minutes after he was born. Your not gonna want to worry about him coming in, or someone letting him in, when you don't want him there. Just don't call him until the baby is born, and you've bonded and you are ready for him to be there.
post #17 of 19
4/30/08 at 8:52pm
At the hospital where I used to work, it was possible to "flag" patient records at the time of admission that no information could be released under any circumstances. HIPAA is supposed to give you privacy rights (i.e. the hospital often will not acknowledge that you are even a patient there, but it is enforced erratically), but in cases where there was a history of domestic violence, or when the patient was a prisoner, their records were even more super-secret. When you pre-register at your hospital, I would ask about this option, tell them you are separated from the child's father, and that you are afraid he will try to force his way into the delivery room. Ask specifically that NO ONE be given any information about you when you are admitted. Put it in writing. Tell everyone, from the registration desk to your doctor and your L&D nurse. Then, don't tell your estranged husband when you go to the hospital. You can call him afterward, and you can control how much contact you have on your own terms.
post #18 of 19
4/30/08 at 9:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by doctormom View Post
At the hospital where I used to work, it was possible to "flag" patient records at the time of admission that no information could be released under any circumstances. HIPAA is supposed to give you privacy rights (i.e. the hospital often will not acknowledge that you are even a patient there, but it is enforced erratically), but in cases where there was a history of domestic violence, or when the patient was a prisoner, their records were even more super-secret. When you pre-register at your hospital, I would ask about this option, tell them you are separated from the child's father, and that you are afraid he will try to force his way into the delivery room. Ask specifically that NO ONE be given any information about you when you are admitted. Put it in writing. Tell everyone, from the registration desk to your doctor and your L&D nurse. Then, don't tell your estranged husband when you go to the hospital. You can call him afterward, and you can control how much contact you have on your own terms.
Excellent Plan!

to you, Mama - I'm sorry you are going through this.
post #19 of 19
4/30/08 at 10:01pm
i was going to say the same thing.

1) don't tell him when you go into labor.
2) tell the hospital to mark you as "no press" is what they call it here, they won't even confirm that you are there, or give out any info.

g/l
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