Mothering › Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › How can an OB just LIE like this?!
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How can an OB just LIE like this?!  

post #1 of 47
4/30/08 at 9:25am
Thread Starter 
Aaaagghhh! First one friend and now another...

A woman on another message board I go to has just said that her doctor wants her to have an elective c-section tomorrow when, get this, she is not even due yet!! She is due on Friday and went for a check today and he told her that she is not effaced, the baby is not engaged and likely never will and that because she is slim her pelvis is probably too small for a vaginal birth and she will end up with an emergency caesarean after enduring horrendous labor so she might as well schedule it now!

He also told her that babies skull bones begin to fuse together after 40 weeks and that her placenta will start to fail rapidly after 40 weeks so a vaginal delivery after that would be difficult and even dangerous.

I am almost speechless with anger as, of course, she is listening to every word he says without doing any of her own research or asking any questions. She'll probably happily go under the knife tomorrow and thank the doctor for saving her baby. I tried to give her some info and told her that most of the things he said were simply untrue but I have no idea if she's even willing to listen to anybody but her god-like OB.

There aren't enough smilies on MDC for how I feel right now but I'll give it a shot... : ::::ba wl:::ho pmad
post #2 of 47
4/30/08 at 9:36am
WOW! I would love to add some smilies to express my feelings, but like you said, there are not enough available.
post #3 of 47
4/30/08 at 9:39am
i am learning that all you can do is kindly tell them that the OB is lying to them, and the facts are out there if they want them. If not, its teh woman's choice to have an elective c/s (which is what it is) and low and behold...she will have a hard time having any future children naturally. Once a c/s....many dr's consider always a c/s. If she wants to birth her children that way, its her choice...but she shoul dunderstand that its a CHOICE she is making and not blame it on the OB..they just lie..i dont even think they know they are doing it anymore. ;(
post #4 of 47
4/30/08 at 10:09am
Before I ever had children, I once met a woman who said small pelvises ran in her family. She wasn't the type of person who automatically believes everything she hears, and she does read alot and research issues on her own. She believed that C-sections save women that otherwise would have died, basically eliminating natural selection or "survival of the fittest". Thus, these people are now passing on genes that otherwise would have been eliminated and now their children are unable to have vaginal births. She had a 9-year old niece who had already been told she would be unlikely to be able to bear children because her hips were just like her mother's - too small.

I do not agree with this at all, and I can't imagine how a doctor could ethically feel comfortable telling a pre-pubescent girl that she will not be able to have children naturally. However, people who believe this may not have heard any counter-arguments to the reasoning given. I wouldn't assume they treat their doctors as "gods", or believe things without questioning, but it is worth educating people with facts from other sources.
post #5 of 47
4/30/08 at 11:02am
Yikes! It sounds like the OB came at this women with a full arsenal of every scare tactic possible! Must be going on a *very important* trip to bring out the big guns all at once!
post #6 of 47
4/30/08 at 11:26am
Isn't this the most frustrating thing of it all? Most women will stick their fingers in their ears and refuse to hear the truth, and that's the main thing that holds us back from progress (or regress, as the case may be). The number one thing that needs to happen is that patients, consumers, demand decent treatment. It's a slow, slow battle.
post #7 of 47
4/30/08 at 11:34am
Oh man, my tears watered up thinking about that. How horrible to be scared into a c-section. What the at the baby's head starting to fuse at 40wks??? That is just crazy. And small pelvis? You neve know how a womans pelivs will be until the baby decides to come.
post #8 of 47
4/30/08 at 11:43am
WTF? Baby's head fusing at 40 weeks? Then why on earth do babies still have that "soft spot" for several MONTHS after birth?

How about a simple "after 40 weeks the placenta MAY start deteriorating and we want to check you more frequently after that time to make sure the baby's still OK"?

At least they're not trying to induce with an unfavorable cervix, which is likely to end in a c/s anyway.

I only know one person who beleives she has a pelvis too small to birth vaginally. She had prodromal labor for about 3 weeks with her first baby, and when she finally went into real labor, she pushed for about 4 hours and the baby never engaged. She had a c/s for that baby, and then scheduled c/s for the next two babes. I still wonder if she would have been able to push that first baby out if she'd declined the epidural and had been able to change positions during labor- but it doesn't really matter now as that baby is now 13yo and the mom is done having kids.

I don't understand how ANYBODY could be diagnosed with "too small a pelvis to birth babies" without trying to push a baby out first.
post #9 of 47
4/30/08 at 11:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
I don't understand how ANYBODY could be diagnosed with "too small a pelvis to birth babies" without trying to push a baby out first.
That's just it. They can't: http://www.bellybelly.com.au/article...s-big-baby-cpd

That reminds me, I hope the OP is giving this woman plenty of links. The evidence speaks louder than any of our own words. The Cochrane Database, especially, can be an OB's worst enemy. The woman in question may still reject it all and go under the knife, but at least she had a fair chance to get out of it.
post #10 of 47
4/30/08 at 12:04pm
Oh for the love of God! While I was nine months pregnant with my first daughter, I went with my friend to her OB appt. Her OB had the nerve to tell me "Looks like you will be having a c-section huh?" I asked her why and she said, "Well you are pretty little and that baby looks pretty big to me." OH MY GOD. She didn't even KNOW me, was not her patient, had never examined me, just eyeballing me! I told my friend she had better find another OB immediately (she did, she went to my OB) and I told my OB what was said and he said "You just wonder how some docs can make it through medical school." It is sh*t like that scares women into sections. Pisses me off beyond belief. It should be against the law to lie to a patient like that, seriously.
post #11 of 47
4/30/08 at 12:07pm
A friend of mine was scared into a c-section at 36 weeks because her baby was HUGE and no tiny asian woman could possibly birth a baby that large.

She went ahead and had the c-section.

Wanna know how big that HUGE baby was?

5 lbs.

He spent a week in the NICU because he was unable to maintain his temp and too tired to suck.

That OB took advantage of my friends' recent immigrant status and lack of english and I'm still furious.
post #12 of 47
4/30/08 at 12:11pm
Wow. That's some of the worst I've heard, I think
post #13 of 47
4/30/08 at 1:01pm
Yeah, apparently Asian women are unable to give birth. Thank god for c-sections or otherwise the whole Asian race would just die out. I can't even imagine what they must have done before c-sections.
post #14 of 47
4/30/08 at 1:02pm
GGAAHHHH!!! And people actually have to wonder why so many women are revolting against OBs and the state of maternity care in this country in general! SHEESH!

The really sad thing is, this is happening everywhere, and thousands of women are just nodding and smiling and doing what Doc says. I would love to tell them all to ask their OBs what they plan on buying with the extra $15,000 or so they'll be getting from the C-section. Sounds like a nice down payment on a new Cadillac to me!
post #15 of 47
4/30/08 at 1:31pm
Quote:
How can an OB just LIE like this?!
Because his colleagues, the hospital and his insurance companies will all back him up and let him get away with it, that is why. The whole system is a mess.
post #16 of 47
4/30/08 at 1:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by laohaire View Post
Yeah, apparently Asian women are unable to give birth. Thank god for c-sections or otherwise the whole Asian race would just die out. I can't even imagine what they must have done before c-sections.
My DH said that most women who went to the MASH units in Vietnam to have their babies had caesareans as it gave the medics surgical practice and upped their expertise. Also, all of the Americans thought that the Asian women were too small to deliver their own babies...this attitude is obviously an old one as this was 40+ years ago.

There are over two billion Asians in Asia. Wonder how they all survived their births?
post #17 of 47
4/30/08 at 1:45pm
Thread Starter 
Luckily a few other women on this message board backed me up and encouraged her to not listen to this idiot so I'm hoping that we got through. No word yet on what she has decided to do but I'd bet dollars to donuts that she goes ahead with the section. So very sad if she does and then only later realises that her OB was lying to her.

How much you want to bet that doc has a vacation or tee time that he doesn't want to be disturbed from this weekend?
post #18 of 47
4/30/08 at 2:01pm
It is like watching a train wreck in slow motion, not being able to do anything but seeing the disaster coming.

My DH works with a woman that is pg. This is a surprise pgcy as she has had several m/c's and did not expect to ever get pg again. All her m/c's were early, like before 8 wks.

But she was told (at 12 wks) by the docs that she would have to have a c/s because of all her previous problems with keeping a baby. It makes me want to cringe! I mean, really, just because of some condition that causes you to m/c multiple times does not automatically mean c/s when you finally carry to term!

The good thing is that my DH, and excellent advocate to HB/UC/natural birth, has been "preaching" to her as often as he can. She actually told him the other day that she would like to talk to me. That would be nice. She asked him, "didn't she even get an epidural?" (He has already told her we only do HBs.)

So who knows what will happen. All I know is that you can not "convince" someone that is not interested or open to hear.
post #19 of 47
4/30/08 at 2:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by applejuice View Post
My DH said that most women who went to the MASH units in Vietnam to have their babies had caesareans as it gave the medics surgical practice and upped their expertise. Also, all of the Americans thought that the Asian women were too small to deliver their own babies...this attitude is obviously an old one as this was 40+ years ago.

There are over two billion Asians in Asia. Wonder how they all survived their births?

that makes me so sick to my stomach. poor babies and poor mamas.
post #20 of 47
4/30/08 at 2:41pm
It makes me so sad that women are made to believe they are inadequate.

I also hate that women believe everything doctors say to them and believe they have to do it.

Chances are she could have a normal vaginal delivery and everything would be fine.



so sad.
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Mothering › Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › How can an OB just LIE like this?!