2 year old biting?

[skybluepink02]

I'm watching a two year old that uses biting as his first response when he gets mad. He's always bit, but lately it's gotten much worse, and the other little boy I watch gets the brunt of it. We've been talking lots and lots about how biting hurts and it's not nice and he seems to get it when we're talking about it, but he's got such extreme emotions that he doesn't think about it when he's mad. He's the type of kid that's either really really happy, or really, really upset. There's not much of a middle ground. Anyways, his mom and I are researching what we can do to help him temper his anger a bit, and she gave me permission to post it here. We're both very committed to GD, so we'd prefer responses along that line. Please help us! It's getting out of control.

[greeny]

My ds went through a pretty bad biting phase when he was 2.

Basically, I had to be a super vigilant helicopter mom, never leaving his side (literally) when we were around other kids. And even then, he managed to sneak in a bite here and there! I think that's the first thing: a child who cannot control himself and can potentially really hurt other kids must be watched constantly. I don't mean just in the same room. I mean sitting right next to him, ready to jump in if need be.

Second, start to recognize the signs that come before the biting. My ds, for example, bit when he felt threatened. If another child took a toy from him, if another child got too close and ds thought the kid would take something, if another kid grabbed him, if a kid took a toy that ds wanted.... I'd watch for those things and intervene if I saw them happening to prevent the situation from escalating for my ds.

Third, we cut way down on the activities we did that involved other kids. He got overstimulated and couldn't handle too much interaction.

Fourth, if he was at all tired, hungry, under the weather, etc. the problem was worse. So we tried to go places in the morning, after he ate, when he was feeling his best.

When he was old enough (and this varies from kid to kid) to understand consequences, I would explain our rule to him every time we went somewhere. "Be gentle." If he wasn't/isn't gentle, we left/leave immediately.

It's hard. There's no easy solution, no one-thing that will work for everyone. We really struggled with it. Ds is now 3.5 and, with the exception of an altercation with another child a few weeks ago, hasn't bitten anyone in a loooong time (again, knock on wood).

Good luck!

[skybluepink02]

Thank you so much for the suggestions! They are really great. I hear you about being a helicopter around him. I feel like I'm smothering him, but I can't risk the other kids. I'm going to impement many of your suggestions immediately.


I'd love views from other parents who have gone through this.

[hedgewitch]

Don't know if this would help you but I let me ds pretend to bite (he does it when he gets carried away with imaginary play) but not really do it. That way he gets to express the impulse but not hurt me. He doesn't do this with other kids though, so it might be slightly useless in your case. Sorry if this isn't helpful!

Good luck!