Mothering › Forums › Breastfeeding › Lactivism › UPDATE #42 "I work for CPS and if I heard of a 4 yr old nursing I would have them removed for sexual abuse"
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UPDATE #42 "I work for CPS and if I heard of a 4 yr old nursing I would have them removed for...  

post #1 of 59
4/30/08 at 2:21pm
Thread Starter 
How does one respond to that? Besides the internal burning rage I have at such a comment. How does one keep your head level and respond to it in a way so that perhaps the person will learn something and not do something awful to some poor child should she ever come across this situation?
post #2 of 59
4/30/08 at 2:26pm
Has someone said this to you?
post #3 of 59
4/30/08 at 2:31pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hanno View Post
Has someone said this to you?
It was directed at me. I personally have never bf a 4 yr old (bad info led me to ff my ds) and my dd is only 9 mos old. I'm not sure I would ever bf a 4+ yr old (ask me in 3 yrs! lol) but I totally think anyone should have the right to do it.

I suppose since I don't do it and it's not something I've really had to defend I don't feel like I have a good educated response besides saying something that would make her defensive and not even hear what I have to say, kwim?
post #4 of 59
4/30/08 at 2:31pm
I can't even comment on this, it puts my gentle mind into a rage balckout...

I seriously hope you can turn this person's thoughts around... :cry:
post #5 of 59
4/30/08 at 2:35pm
I'd calmly say, "I hope you wouldn't as it would be both illegal, and immoral to remove a child solely on your judgments regarding this normal parenting process since there is no scientific basis to back up your statement. YOu might want to read what the AAP and the AAFP has to say about extended bresatfeeding, more specifically that it has continued benefits and is not in any way harmful to the child." And then I'd follow up (If it was someone I knew) with "I wouldn't want you to lose your job over being misinformed afterall!"

I was a CPS. I will say that most of us are (Well, were as the case may be) childless, recent college grads with a completely ethnocentric view of the world. DOn't get me wrong, I was pretty versed on avoiding ethnocentricism, but never having been a parent, I can honestly admit that I had no business being given the power I was given. I wish I could go back now and look at things from a whole new light. I often consider volunteering with the GAL for this reason.
post #6 of 59
4/30/08 at 2:36pm
Oh and ask ehr for statues...Because I can tell you my state does not address breastfeeding as a form of sexual abuse (And I read every last statute on child welfare during my training!)
post #7 of 59
4/30/08 at 2:41pm
Could you ask "Upon what scientific evidence or legal authority would you base that decision?" And then cite AAP and AAFP stands on EB?
post #8 of 59
4/30/08 at 3:05pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks ladies! I knew you would have better things to say than I do I'm just going to e-mail her privately and see what she says. I'll keep you updated!
post #9 of 59
4/30/08 at 3:27pm
Here's a great article on full term bfing:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

Maybe you should tell Ms. CPS that she should investigate the lack of full-term bfing? : (I AM JUST KIDDING!)
post #10 of 59
4/30/08 at 3:29pm
I would be suspicious about whether she's really a CPS worker.

Admittedly, I have no personal knowlege of the CPS system, but from what I read in the news here, they (DYFS in NJ) are inundated with an unmanageable deluge of heartbreaking cases of true neglect and abuse. I can't imagine them sitting around with nothing better to do than harrass nursing moms.

Of course I could be wrong. I am frequently surprised by the general ignorance of breastfeeding norms.
post #11 of 59
4/30/08 at 5:31pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdie22 View Post
I would be suspicious about whether she's really a CPS worker.

Admittedly, I have no personal knowlege of the CPS system, but from what I read in the news here, they (DYFS in NJ) are inundated with an unmanageable deluge of heartbreaking cases of true neglect and abuse. I can't imagine them sitting around with nothing better to do than harrass nursing moms.

Of course I could be wrong. I am frequently surprised by the general ignorance of breastfeeding norms.
I was wondering the same thing. Maybe she's legit, maybe she's not. But I figure it can't hurt to at least attempt to educate her in case she really is speaking the truth.
post #12 of 59
4/30/08 at 5:39pm
I would say, "If you really worked for CPS, and I have my suspicions you don't, your supervisor would tell you there are no legal or ethical grounds for the action you've proposed."
post #13 of 59
4/30/08 at 6:47pm
While it would be nice to think that a supervisor would say that, odds are good that they would not. I have never been a big supporter of CPS and have seen to many cases-granted largerly in FL where they did not do the right thing, from taking a baby away from a mother because the mother called ask a nurse to ask about odd feeling she had while nursing-the mother eventually got the baby back but it took so long that the nursing relationship was destroyed. Other cases include returning a child to a mother who is a known drug addict, and being surprised that the child was then abandoned in a parking lot, and taking children away from parents because somebody said they thought they spanked them. I have little faith in them actually doing the job they are supposed to do.
post #14 of 59
4/30/08 at 7:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gypsymomma4 View Post
and taking children away from parents because somebody said they thought they spanked them.
?????


The rest of your post notwithstanding......are you saying it's ok to hit children?
post #15 of 59
4/30/08 at 7:01pm
You will want to refer to the World Health Organization's policy, which says 6 months exclusive BF and gives no specific end date. IE "I am just following the WHO guidelines in providing healthy food for my baby/child." Also, the case worker is "supposed to be" sensitive to cultural norms of the parents. For example in India (and China) it is common for a young kid to sleep in the parent's bed. In developing countries, a 4 year old breastfeeding is no big deal. In fact safer than drinking possibly contaminated water.

http://www.who.int/features/qa/21/en/index.html
post #16 of 59
4/30/08 at 7:05pm
I don't think she was saying spanking was alright, but it is certainly legal and is not grounds for removal, especially since they didn't know for sure, only "thought" they did.
post #17 of 59
4/30/08 at 8:12pm
I'd tell her that she better get started because the international average age of weaning is 4.3yrs so she'll be very busy for the next one million years.
post #18 of 59
4/30/08 at 8:54pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziggysmama View Post
I'd tell her that she better get started because the international average age of weaning is 4.3yrs so she'll be very busy for the next one million years.
I used the argument before this lady came in with the CPS threat. The problem is that it seems everyone basically says, "yeah that makes sense in 3rd world country where there's disease, lack of good water, sometimes lack of good food, etc but there's no need for a child that age to still be nursing in America where they can have regular table food." I will say though that although no one who agreed with me wanted to jump in I did get a lot of e-mails saying they were happy I was defending the position.
post #19 of 59
4/30/08 at 9:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shelsi View Post
I used the argument before this lady came in with the CPS threat. The problem is that it seems everyone basically says, "yeah that makes sense in 3rd world country where there's disease, lack of good water, sometimes lack of good food, etc but there's no need for a child that age to still be nursing in America where they can have regular table food." I will say though that although no one who agreed with me wanted to jump in I did get a lot of e-mails saying they were happy I was defending the position.
wow, thats crazy. What ever happened to good old fashioned comfort being a reason anyway? Also you could say something about how no one really know what breastmilk can do and achieve as it is very hard to study. You can talk about bm containing stem cell and that some adults drink it as a anti-cancer tonic. Also you could talk about how the longer you bf you less change there is of certain types of cancers, in the infant and the mother....oh wow, there are about million reason why extended breastfeeding is awesome. I wish more people knew.
post #20 of 59
5/1/08 at 12:26am
Here's a link to Kathy Dettwyler's page:
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/dettwyler.html

Lots of really great articles there.
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Mothering › Forums › Breastfeeding › Lactivism › UPDATE #42 "I work for CPS and if I heard of a 4 yr old nursing I would have them removed for sexual abuse"