How to bring up circ with my brother?

[zoebugsmom]

My brother and his wife are expecting twins in June, one of which is a boy. I had mentioned not circing briefly to SIL on the phone awhile back but didn't get into it because they didn't know what the babies were yet. After finding out they were expecting a boy I sent her links about circ but received no response.

I'll be seeing my brother this weekend and want to talk about it with him but I'm not sure how to do it. It hasn't come up yet because we live far from each other (I'm in NH, he's in FL) and when we talk it's generally quick and to the point, same with emails. I'm hoping our mom will talk about it too but she seems to think it's not her place.

So, how would you bring it up? Should I try emailing him or just talk about it when I see him if we get a quiet moment? What do you think?

[snangel]

I personally would bring it up in person with him. I would arm myself with facts, and offer up links (in person) if he wishes. One of which would be the Penn and Teller Bullsh*t video.

[zoebugsmom]

I'm leaning towards in person but providing links in person would be abit of a pain, no? I did send a bunch to his wife, including the P&T video. I have no idea if she even looked at them or if she told him about it. I don't want to alienate them because they are my favorite of my sibs but at the same time I really hope they'll consider not circing.

[cherri0196]

Since he's in Florida, tell him how LOW the circ. rate is here (37% im pretty sure) and if they do choose to Circ. that his son will be the one being "made fun of" and outnumbered.

I also like the recommendation for the Penn & Teller B.S. video!!

Good luck!!!

[nd_deadhead]

You could start a conversation such as "Parenting advice has changed SO much since we were kids! We used to have free run of the back seat (no seat belts), as babies we slept on our tummies, babies weren't breastfed as much, practically all boys were circumcised. Now we use car seats and booster seats, bike helmets, we breastfeed longer, and doctors no longer recommend circumcision."

This gives him (and his wife) a chance to comment on what you said - but you put it in a non-confrontational context.

One way that I like to think about it is this - and it might be especially effective for your brother and SIL, since they have a high-risk pregnancy (by virtue of carrying twins). You spend 9 months hoping and praying for healthy babies, wondering what you will do and how you will handle it it the babies are premature, need to spend time in the ICU, or - heaven forbid - something is seriously wrong with one of them, and she needs an operation.

If you are blessed with full-term, normal healthy babies, doesn't it seem strange to sign up your precious baby boy for an operation he doesn't even need?

[BamaDude]

Since they're expecting both a boy and a girl at the same time, why not point out the similarities in male and female genital mutilation and the legal inconsistencies related thereto; ie if they wouldn't consider doing anything to their newborn daughter's genitals (nor would they be allowed to), then why do it to their son's genitals?

[Greg B]

I would invite him to watch Penn and Tellers video. Just make it like "You have got to see this, you won't believe it...."

Regards

[Lady Madonna]

I'm not sure how you should bring it up - though the P&T video might be a good one - but please, please do bring it up.

I didn't talk to my brother about circumcision when his wife was pregnant, and they circumcised their son. I feel so guilty every time I think about it - knowing my brother and his wife, they'd have probably had it done anyway, but at least I'd know I tried. So no matter what, for your own peace of mind, please say something. If nothing else, you'll know you tried.