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Wanting but Waiting tribe - Page 3

post #41 of 520
I swear, as soon as DP get a new job we are sitting down and talking. I don't really want to stress him out more right now... Boy... I am READY...

P.S. I can't wait to put in my signature.
post #42 of 520
Hi Signing in here
I am open to children but I am hoping to wait till At least Aug 08 possibly Aug 09 to TTC. We have financial and medical reasons and I am hoping to accomplish a few things before the next babe comes along!
post #43 of 520
This is the place for me, too!

We'll be TTC in mid-late 2009. I WISH with my whole heart that we could have an "oops", but since my DP is a woman, it's not likely.

It would probably be this year if I didn't love my job so much (and because DP wants to do some more traveling first). We'll be out of debt this year, so the plan for when the babe arrives is for us to be off for 3 months together (we BOTH get 100% paid leave for 3 months- regardless of who gives birth- it will be me though) and then my DP will be the SAHM and I can WAH part time too. I feel so lucky that we can do that together. It will be so hard to set up someone new to take my place at work for 3 months though (I am CFO) but then it will be 1000% harder to go BACK to work I'm sure. I can't imagine leaving the LO at home. Now, I just have to try to convince DP to induce lactation also, or it will make for some interesting back-and-forth time to breastfeed while working part time away from home. Oh well, it's ALL stuff I'm so excited for!!!!

I want this year to speed by, but I also know that I need to take this time to really concentrate on bettering myself and preparing. That's why I lurk on MDC CONSTANTLY- yes I am at work right now. I've learned SO MUCH here!

Beth
post #44 of 520
oohhh Monarchgrrl that's priceless! (oops)

You're lucky to have such nice options for staying at home/mat leave etc afterwards... that's the single thing that makes me ok with not TTC right now, is that I know I couldn't afford to stay at home past the 1 year mat leave we get here, and probably not even for that whole thing (it's only 55% of your income)... and since I want to be able to stay home, at least MOST of the time- it's better to wait.

It sure doesn't make it easier though...
post #45 of 520
Well now the wanting but waiting is a little bit worse. Not only did I decide I really need to work about a year more than I thought to get us in the right financial place... but just found out my sister is pg and due in January. I'm happy for her of course but also quite jealous!
post #46 of 520
LittleBirdy, I'm thinking about our financial situation today, too, and having the same kinds of doubts. I'm not sure the whole SAH thing is going to work out, or if we're going to be able to buy a house any time soon. My first priority is having a baby, but I don't want to let that blind me to all the other things that I wanted to get in order before TTC. But I guess they say there is no perfect time, right?
post #47 of 520
I got the go ahead to wait! i know silly. poor dh doesn't want more but gosh i really can't wait! he finally caved for one more (breaks my heart to think about "loosing" those 1-2 more i really wanted!). he said jan 09 but i countered (with bday conflicts) for nov 1 so only 5.5 months to go!!! seems like it will never get here. also will be paying off 1 car loan and MAYBE (depends on if we HB or not) the 2nd will be paid off before the baby is born....if so that will greatly increase our "wealth" from a monthly standpoint. i really wonder if dh will deny me the other loves of my life...and if i will survive the heartache.

Quote:
Originally Posted by shanna-cat View Post
so i was just glancing over all the threads wondering if i should pose a thread question about the pros/cons of waiting to space out kiddos or having them close together and 'all done at once' - when i found this thread! tech we should wait (have two already almost 3 and 10 mos) but i am seriously having the baby craves!!! ds would probably skin me for even thinking about ttc #3 right now but i am just curious what keeps you all motivated to stick with your plan of waiting... i guess outright we could say that we (or I) am wanting but waiting but i feel like under the skin i am praying for a slip up....
any words of wisdom?
i wish everyday that i could have lots of oops! i mean my siggie would look GREAT with all oops kids right??!!
i have contemplated about poking holes in condems but considering its unethical and dh would not be "oh its an oops...i understand and i'll love the child" (more of a i hate this!) i really can't do that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Yola View Post
Can I join?

Desperately wanting..I want at least 1, preferably closer to 5 more babe's, and Dh turns 40 at the end of this month, I feel like I'm in a bit of a time crunch!

But I'm waiting, Dh's stance is we can start trying for the next one when we own our own dirt...best-case scenario that means probably at least 2 years, and that's if we find 3-5 families wanting to go in on buying land and building a self-sufficient (think Earthships) community. It seems like a long time to wait, and with no real guaranty it will ever happen...the liklyhood of us ever being able to afford a piece of land is soooo far-fetched

I keep my spirits up with the knowledge when we do get our land and Dh starts building us one awsome house, I'll have his support in birthing as many babies as my womb will provide us with
maybe i should just come live with you? although i am a real city person i can appreciate the bounty (and cheapenss of living) off the land. dh says that financial is the main reason for the resounding "no" but really he just doen'st want more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Monarchgrrl View Post
This is the place for me, too!

We'll be TTC in mid-late 2009. I WISH with my whole heart that we could have an "oops", but since my DP is a woman, it's not likely.

It would probably be this year if I didn't love my job so much (and because DP wants to do some more traveling first). We'll be out of debt this year, so the plan for when the babe arrives is for us to be off for 3 months together (we BOTH get 100% paid leave for 3 months- regardless of who gives birth- it will be me though) and then my DP will be the SAHM and I can WAH part time too. I feel so lucky that we can do that together. It will be so hard to set up someone new to take my place at work for 3 months though (I am CFO) but then it will be 1000% harder to go BACK to work I'm sure. I can't imagine leaving the LO at home. Now, I just have to try to convince DP to induce lactation also, or it will make for some interesting back-and-forth time to breastfeed while working part time away from home. Oh well, it's ALL stuff I'm so excited for!!!!

I want this year to speed by, but I also know that I need to take this time to really concentrate on bettering myself and preparing. That's why I lurk on MDC CONSTANTLY- yes I am at work right now. I've learned SO MUCH here!

Beth

best thing about 2 women! double boob duty! you guys could easily BF quads so that certainly helps!

sorry for your loss.
post #48 of 520
Quote:
Originally Posted by DogLady View Post
LittleBirdy, I'm thinking about our financial situation today, too, and having the same kinds of doubts. I'm not sure the whole SAH thing is going to work out, or if we're going to be able to buy a house any time soon. My first priority is having a baby, but I don't want to let that blind me to all the other things that I wanted to get in order before TTC. But I guess they say there is no perfect time, right?
Our financial situation is also a major reason for waiting. I have always said that I wanted to be in a financial position to at least have the choice to stay at home. I need to pay off my car and one of my student loans to minimize my need for a paycheck... This year we are really working on our financial position by putting money into savings, DH got life insurance and short term disability, and hopefully we'll get some major payments out of the way. I really hope that next year we are feeling more confident with our financial state. I would love to have finished our upstairs so that our space is larger and we aren't doing major construction with a baby...but in reality that doesn't have to happen.

Everyone around me is pregnant, including 2 family members. Some days I want to throw the 'plan' out the window and just go for it. But I know that in order to be the parent I want to be, it is best to hold off. I have realized that I really need to develop a creative hobby to keep me busy and have more fun. Maybe some of my impatience is that I am craving something new and exciting...:
post #49 of 520
i have been wondering when i would stumble across a thread like this...
i have one amazing dd age 4, and i find more and more that i can't stop thinking about having another. (dd is no help, as she daily asks when will i have a baby!)

we have financial woes, and the practical part of my brain says "wait, work, save some $", but i am worried that it will only be harder to do without $ once i see some again (i have been working only minimally since dd was born).

and this may be nutty, but i think life is too short. babies are more precious than career for me, and my fears about not having enough attention for dd1 are simply thought formations that grow out of fear...

also i am almost 34--not old, but i intend a homebirth and i figure the younger i am the safer i'll feel?

thanks for letting me ramble on.
post #50 of 520
Quote:
I have always said that I wanted to be in a financial position to at least have the choice to stay at home.
This is me. I may want to continue working, I may want to take the financial hit and stay home for a year or so, or I may do some weird combination of the two. I just want to avoid having no choice but to go back to full-time work out of the home less than two months after giving birth. I know many women are ready to go back to work at that point, but I can see myself having a really hard time with that. I don't have any fundamental problem with child care---it's really my own sanity that I'm worried about.

DH and I have saved up some money and were planning to use it for a down payment, but now it is looking like we might put off buying a house and use the money to cushion us through a time when neither of us is working. (Background: DH is a law student graduating in May '09, starting work in fall '09.)

Ideally, I'd like to have a baby in spring '09, stay in our cheap apartment for a while, and not have to return to work full time if I don't want to. I just don't know if we'll be able to do without an income for so long. Which is why I wait...
post #51 of 520
Quote:
Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley View Post
Come join me!

I am wanting but waiting until December!

Anyone else wanting but waiting?
me! me! me!
i am waiting until at least october....but i would really like to wait until february. i turn 30 then and i would love to have one last hurrah before TTC. my ds will be 2 years old then which is really why i want to wait. i just want to make sure he gets two good full years of bfing...but i am DYING to get pregnant.
actually, depending on my cycle, i bounce back and forth between wanting to be pregnant at this moment and not wanting to be pregnant ever again .
my best friend is having her baby in a few weeks...that could either make me want one even more, or maybe it will make me chill .
post #52 of 520
Quote:
Originally Posted by lyterae View Post
You can count me in, wanting, but waiting until at least the end of August (3 more cycles) if not longer. I had 60 lbs I wanted to lose before getting pregnant again and I've only mananged to kick 30 of it so far, I'm heading for a HBAC so I want to do everything I can to be healthy for my next pregnancy...

Waiting is getting harder, I sometimes wish that we'd have an "oops" despite the fact that I really would like baby #2 to be something we both are excited for and waiting for. My dd was very much a surprise for us (fresh out of college, no insurance, etc...) I'm looking forward to it being an exciting rather than scary time next time around.

I'm also lurking on the DDC forums...
are we twins? seriously, this is like, my life story.
except the losing weight part. i gained SEVENTY pounds while pregnant with ds1...and
then i got preeclampsia at 38 weeks which put 20 more lbs of water weight on all at once. so my body got MESSED UP...you aren't supposed to gain 20 lbs in an hour and then lose in right away.
i have only lost 40 lbs since having my baby (he's 16 months) which is pretty much nothing since most people lose 25-35 lbs right after birth. sigh.
i ended up with a c-section after a crazy induction for the preeclampsia. hoping for a home birth v-bac...so i really need to get my ass in gear and get as healthy as possible.
i try and think of it like i need to train for the marathon yk?
but yeah, we got pregnant with ds after only being together for two months...yikes! it was crazy, but i have never had a better accident happen to me.
can't wait to have another. i think i want 2 more.
post #53 of 520
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monarchgrrl View Post
This is the place for me, too!

We'll be TTC in mid-late 2009. I WISH with my whole heart that we could have an "oops", but since my DP is a woman, it's not likely.
that would be one hell of an oops !
post #54 of 520
Wanting here but waiting because DH won't be here. He'll be on a trip so the waiting is just geographical!
post #55 of 520
Waiting, waiting, waiting. DD is 18 months now and i figured I'd be pregnant by now. I am ready whenever, but DH is not. We had an oopsie in Jan but lost it at 8 weeks. He was okay, but after the fact he confessed he was scared out of his mind. BC is in his hands (and i do practice FA also) so there is the possibility of another oops. DH has been way more consistent with condoms though. i have had a similar thought of poking holes, but that is just too wrong to actualyl do.

We are conflicted as to how long we are waiting. DH says only 1 in day care at a time, so TTC Fall 2010 for a summer/ fall 2011 baby. I think having them a total of 4 years apart is perfect, so TTC Fall 2009 for a Summer/ fall 2010 baby. We shall see. It has been a hard road to come to a place of acceptance of waiting, but we are young (25 y/o) so we have time. And having DD1 is such a great distraction.
post #56 of 520
I'm waiting until I meet the right person and am married and settled down. Not sure when it will be...a year, two years, three years?

Definitely wanting, though.
post #57 of 520
Oh, yay! I can't believe I found y'all! DH and I just really decided (after months of tip-toeing around the issue) that we'd like to start TTC later this year - August at the earliest and preferably October at the latest. We have a 2 1/2 yo DD now, so she would (in theory) be 3 1/2 when babe #2 would arrive.

We're waiting because I'm working on my PhD right now and I have to get through my qualifying exams before having another child. Also, I have fibromylagia so I would like to take a few months to get as healthy as possible before going through pregnancy again. DD is also still nursing once or twice a day, and we are going to start actively weaning next month, so I would like to have some time when my body is just *mine* for a while before pregnancy as well.

But I came online to post about how *excited* I am that we have finally made this decision but I didn't quite want to out myself to my MDC friends yet. I always thought that I would only have one child and told everyone that my DD would be our only...so I am kind of still in a state of shock that we are thinking this way at all. But it feels so good to think about being pregnant again, having a newborn...all of it! And I really am falling in love with the idea of having a sibling for DD (and I must confess, I am somewhat biased in hoping for : ).

So, this is cool! I'm excited to share this journey with y'all. Oh and for all of you first-time-moms-to-be: it really is wonderful! You have so much to look forward to!
post #58 of 520
i want another child but as DD2 is only 8 months and i have had 4 babies between 02-07 im waiting a bit. i have implanon implant in. we have agreed to waith till august next year then see wherer we are and make the dicision on TTC then. last time i had implanon i had it out when Ds2 was 9 months old and it took a further 6 months for me to get pg, mind i fell pg the week DS2 stoped nursing. im hoping to still be nursing DD2 when we TTC. we are going to take a wait dan see if i do i do if i dont i dont.

anyway Hi adn i hope its OK that i join in here. no one else seems to get how broody i am even tho baby 4 is still a baby. shes growing up so fast, shes babbling, getting ready to crawl.

Kiz
post #59 of 520
This is great! Other mommies who are itching to have another baby. My hubby will be thrilled to find out that I found other women to talk to about wanting another baby. I already have three wonderful children: Dd#1 will be four in July, Dd#2 will be three in Sept, and Ds will be one in just 5 days. I have been telling my husband that I want to have our fourth since my Ds was about three months old. I just feel that it is right for us to have more children. I am already a sahm, hubby is a firefighter :fireman on a local naval air station. I know that I can make our finances work, I just have to talk my dear dear husband into it. He wants to buy a house first, I think I will tell him about the planned community idea from the earlier reply. That sounds like a great idea. I hope to get to chat more with the rest of you ladies that are wanting but waiting.
post #60 of 520
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Amy* View Post

So, this is cool! I'm excited to share this journey with y'all. Oh and for all of you first-time-moms-to-be: it really is wonderful! You have so much to look forward to!
Aww, thank you! :
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