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Do you ever try to hide your no circ son?

post #1 of 49
5/1/08 at 12:52am
Thread Starter 
I only know two people who didn't circ their sons...one of them is my oldest sister so her son is now 16 and my midwife...my midwife is the only one who lives near to me. I have lots of friends with LO's and of course diaper changes happen and now we are coming up on summer.

I know a lot of you would probably love the chance to have someone ask a question but I guess I don't really feel like a question is going to be asked...he'll just be looked at. DS is only 15 months so this summer he'll very well be nakey butt and I just don't want the older 4,5,6 yo to say something...I just feel uncomfortable, especially to use an answer of "that's the way God made him" or something like that because they are all Christians.

What are some things you all have told young children if they have ever said something?
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post #2 of 49
5/1/08 at 12:53am
Thread Starter 
duh, I forgot to sub.
post #3 of 49
5/1/08 at 12:56am
If other people's kids ask, I tell them to go ask their mom. This has only happened once to me, most kids just don't seem to care, that and everyone I know is intact, because that is the group of people I hang out with. Other then that I just say that we choose to let our kids decide on cosmetic surgery when they are old enough to sign up for it.
post #4 of 49
5/1/08 at 1:07am
I wouldn't use the "everyone is different" line because I think that misleads children into thinking some boys were born that way. It isn't like eye color or Down's syndrome, its an alteration.

Although in the REALLY young, this may be the quickest way to change the subject...


I like the PP answer to have the kid ask their mommy. Put the burden on the parents who had their boys cut.
post #5 of 49
5/1/08 at 1:10am
Answer: "That's the way all boys are born."

THEN if the kid has more questions, ya' send him back to his mom.
post #6 of 49
5/1/08 at 1:12am
yep A&A that is what I say, as hard as it is to not go off on a tangent!
post #7 of 49
5/1/08 at 6:25am
I've never had it happen, but I like A&A's answer!
post #8 of 49
5/1/08 at 10:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A View Post
Answer: "That's the way all boys are born."

THEN if the kid has more questions, ya' send him back to his mom.
Yeah, that! ^^^ Although this could lead the child to be told lies about the intact penis from said circumcising parent, if their parents aren't around, you can't exactly educate them and saying this is factual and gets the child off your back. I'd use the "That's the way ALL boys are born." way.
post #9 of 49
5/1/08 at 10:18am
It has never occurred to me though I don't know any circ'ed boys/
post #10 of 49
5/1/08 at 10:19am
Oh, thank goodness, Lissa!
post #11 of 49
5/1/08 at 10:48am
I haven't really given it much thought yet - although all the moms of boys I know have circ'ed so I guess it could come up eventually. I like A&A's answer. That definitely works for me.
post #12 of 49
5/1/08 at 2:30pm
Honestly, most kids really dont care, so you should not worry about it in the first place.

But please dont say things like "thats hwo all boys are born" these are little children, its not appropriate to bring them into circ discussion like that. Its best to just tell them to ask their Mom/Dad or even all boys are different.

You just need to say something neutral, and dismissive, so the kid will go away. Because honestly, they are just going to forget and not care what you say soon after anyway.
post #13 of 49
5/1/08 at 2:52pm
I haven't given it too much thought since all but one of my girlfriends have intact boys as well. I would never try to "hide" my sons to keep awkward questions from being asked, but I do try to honor their right to privacy and discretion...although my oldest likes to take his swim trunks off as soon as they're wet and run naked through the sprinkler! I guess if a neighborhood kid commented or questioned it, I would probably be truthful and state "It's part of his penis called the foreskin." I would probably mention something to the child's mother, so if he mentions it to her later, she won't be confused and she can figure out a way to explain it to her child. I would like to think that she wouldn't tell her son awful things about intact penises...but I know that the truth about intactness is out there and all boys will learn about it eventually, especially since almost half of them are left intact these days.
post #14 of 49
5/1/08 at 4:09pm
I'm VERY proud that my son was never mutilated, therefore, I'd never hide him plus would take every chance I have to educate other parents and kids.
post #15 of 49
5/1/08 at 4:17pm
I have never had that question and probably never will since no one circs here.

Don't hide your son, it's a good thing that people get used to seeing normal penises!
post #16 of 49
5/1/08 at 4:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by christifav View Post
I like the PP answer to have the kid ask their mommy. Put the burden on the parents who had their boys cut.
I'm not sure I like this approach. The kid'll go ask his parents, and you know what the parents will say.

"Yes, we had you circumcised because it is cleaner and most kids look this way. By removing a pointless piece of skin, that most people have removed, you won't be teased in the bathroom or when you change."

By sending him back to his parents, you're just sending him to that side of the argument.


I would tell them very neutrally. "Some people have skin down there and other people do not. If someone happens to see yours, or you happen to see someone else's, and they do not look like yours, please don't make a big deal out of it."


Depending on the situation, i'd look for a private area to change him, such as a corner of the room or a changing table. If none exist, it's no big deal. But i'm not going to wave his naked body around the room, exclaiming his foreskin to everyone.
post #17 of 49
5/1/08 at 4:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bugmenot View Post
I'm not sure I like this approach. The kid'll go ask his parents, and you know what the parents will say.

"Yes, we had you circumcised because it is cleaner and most kids look this way. By removing a pointless piece of skin, that most people have removed, you won't be teased in the bathroom or when you change."
I 100% agree.
post #18 of 49
5/1/08 at 4:41pm
If a kid would ask me, I would have said that your parents for some reason decided to cut this part of your body off.
post #19 of 49
5/1/08 at 5:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
If a kid would ask me, I would have said that your parents for some reason decided to cut this part of your body off.
Honestly, for such young kids I dont think thats appropriate thing to say. This kid has already had his choice taken away from him, why take that out on him?

I think our culture is rough enough to boys, their advocates dont also have to be jabbing at them as well. give them a break, their just little kids.
post #20 of 49
5/1/08 at 5:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by perspective View Post
Honestly, for such young kids I dont think thats appropriate thing to say. This kid has already had his choice taken away from him, why take that out on him?

I think our culture is rough enough to boys, their advocates dont also have to be jabbing at them as well. give them a break, their just little kids.
there is just no gentle and painless way to tell a person that a part of their body was needlessly removed. that is just the truth. it is very disturbing and shocking. but I'd rather had this kid experience shock from what was done to him (as he should!, because it is something horrific) than having his mom tell him what a great thing circ is and how he should do that to his son. That is EXACTLY what keeps MGM going. some things just hurt no matter what, period.
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