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Do you ever try to hide your no circ son? - Page 2

post #21 of 49
To those who brought up that sending the kid back to his mom might be sending him to the dark side....good point. I didn't look at it from that perspective.

Back to the original title of the thread....Heck NO, I would never hide by son because of his intact status. Nor would I flaunt it. It is what it is and if he takes his drawers off and runs around naked I won't freak...kids do that sometimes.

I will also take care to respect his privacy as he gets older, but still, nekky is no big deal either way. Nothing to hide, nothing to flaunt. And intact status has nothing to do with it.
post #22 of 49
And I just have to add that my intact son and his circ'd friend (both in daycare together) liked to compare.................underwear. They never compared anything else, as far as I know.
post #23 of 49
I wouldn't hide my intact sons any more than I would breastfeed in the bathroom -- because there's nothing wrong with it.
post #24 of 49
I've never had a circed child comment about either of my boys, nor have my sons.
post #25 of 49
No, I have never tried to hide my Non-circ'd ds.


Thats not entirely true, my pastor's wife came over the day after Liam was born. Dh gave me diapers to change him. He didn't really neeeed to be changed. But I had that in the back of my mind... That she would be judgmental. I'm kicking my self because that would've been a GREAT opportunity to educate her if she did say something. I'm hanging out with her today. My other friend will be there today too (taking the kids to skate town). Other friend has two intact ds. They'll be 4 intact boys around the pastors wife, lol! Sadly, pastor's wife's boys are circ'd. Dh talked to pastor about circumcision a long ago. He is on board that its not necessary but was waaay off saying it was medically necessary. We told him what our kids pediatrician said "NOT medically necessary". He was really quiet after that. They do know that we have two intact boys. If I have the opportunity to change Liam in front of her I won't hesitate and hope she DOES say something so I can have a chance to Educate.
gotta go get ready.
post #26 of 49
My little one is intact and he's quite often nakey butt around the house. I babysit and although I usually try to keep him clothed when I have those children in my home, there have been times when he's escaped from a diaper change before I got a new one on him. The little boys I babysit have never made a comment about his penis being different...I know they've seen it ("CARI!! M is naked!!!" : ) but I don't think they would investigate his penis long enough to notice, yk?

Little kids, ime, only recognize difference (in a negative way) when they are told there is one.
post #27 of 49
I have actually had more of my friends/family notice and comment than any child. My son is the only child I know of who is intact where we live now and it worries me quite a bit. I still try not to hide it. It is also socially akward to explain to others why I did not without condeming their choices. I struggle with this all the time. I really believe I did the right thing for my son but the social implications where I live are very real. finding a bunch of non circ'd boys to hang with just is not even an option. it was SOOO much simpler where we lived before where I knew tons of boys who were intact.

anyway, one time a 4-5 year old child did notice it when I was changing DS diaper. he said "I really like his penis, it looks like a cheese puff" no worries
post #28 of 49
If I had a kid, I would be really proud of who he is, and I think that feeling would override any fear of confrontation. (but I can easily understand why it could be hard in some situations, where stress levels, do to unrelated issues already exist)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
there is just no gentle and painless way to tell a person that a part of their body was needlessly removed. that is just the truth. it is very disturbing and shocking. but I'd rather had this kid experience shock from what was done to him (as he should!, because it is something horrific) than having his mom tell him what a great thing circ is and how he should do that to his son. That is EXACTLY what keeps MGM going. some things just hurt no matter what, period.
I know, but it doesn't matter. These are little kids, who have brains that are not as developed and cannot handle, and process things in the same way adults do. (That is why we dont let little kids to watch scary movies, or hesitant to let them go on the "scary ride at the amusement park)
It can be very scary and possibly scarring to tell a little kid something like that. Its like when a little kid comes up to you because they just cut their leg, instead of calling it a boo boo, you tell them "o you just cut a little tiny piece of yourself off your body, and right now tiny little germs are crawling inside it."

I believe doing what you suggest, is just harassing people who have already been victimized, children no less. Its immoral, unethical, and I believes goes against the healing process, we as a culture need to go through in the process of ending these practices.
post #29 of 49
Why not just tell the kids the truth, that this is how a baby boy is naturally born, that this is totally healthy and normal, that circumcision is completely unnecessary and wrong, it is wrong, cruel and inhumane to cut off a healthy and normal part of a babies body, and that they should never allow this to be done to their own children, and so on. We are trying to stop circumcision here arent we? You could hopefully help stop this practice and maybe prevent them from doing it to their own children. This cycle of violence has to be stopped. Wen I first heard about circumcision, I was shocked, my finding it so appalling, it helped me realise the reality of it and that these things should not be allowed to be done to boys, and that I needed to do something to help abolish it.

At least older children. 8+ can process this. I do agree that a 3 or 4 year old, it might be too much.
post #30 of 49
On the go ask your mom question: I could see how it would set older boys up for teasing our intact boys. Imagine them asking their moms why he is the way he is, and she says, "its cleaner" and intact boy is "dirty". It sets our boys up for a ton of ridicule from others.

I like the "not everyone looks the same, so don't tease anyone about it" line.

Imagine your kid with big ears or nose or a birthmark on the face. What would you say if a kid asked you about it? Probably the "everyone is different, don't tease" line. They will learn in time about it. Its all about education from us as they get older, not to mess 'em up when they are younger. You know how literal children can be
post #31 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by christifav View Post
I wouldn't use the "everyone is different" line because I think that misleads children into thinking some boys were born that way. It isn't like eye color or Down's syndrome, its an alteration.

Although in the REALLY young, this may be the quickest way to change the subject...


I like the PP answer to have the kid ask their mommy. Put the burden on the parents who had their boys cut.
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post #32 of 49
I just had a 'moment' this afternoon!!

I was wearing my "circumcision harms babies and the men they become sweatshirt" when I went to pick up my DD at preschool. A mom was there with her son (approx. 10 YO) and he read my shirt and asked me what it meant...I told him (right in front of mama) to ask his mother...she gave me a really dirty look and turned an odd shade of green...
post #33 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A View Post
Answer: "That's the way all boys are born."

THEN if the kid has more questions, ya' send him back to his mom.
Yep, that's simple enough.
post #34 of 49
I had a conversation with my 3 year old son about this the other day. I didn't expect it becuase it was HIM asking. He had a bath with a 4 year old boy (circumsized) and he exclaimed, 'hey, what kinds of peepee he gots?' I said, 'oh his is just a different kind than yours', not wanting to embarrass the other boy or his mom, but my son asked again later, and I awkwardly explained that that Cameron was missing a part that Axel had, becuase we decided to keep it for him.

I wasn't really prepared for it, but want to teach my son pride and confidance in his body, but not disdain for anyone else. In answering his questions publicly, I didn't want to embarrass the other boy, or his mother, or suggest he was imperfect, but also wanted to be clear that Axel's intact penis was normal and perfect.

It's tricky figuring out what to say- I'm very against circumsicion but I don't want to teach superiority...
post #35 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of my Castle View Post
I had a conversation with my 3 year old son about this the other day. I didn't expect it becuase it was HIM asking. He had a bath with a 4 year old boy (circumsized) and he exclaimed, 'hey, what kinds of peepee he gots?' I said, 'oh his is just a different kind than yours', not wanting to embarrass the other boy or his mom, but my son asked again later, and I awkwardly explained that that Cameron was missing a part that Axel had, becuase we decided to keep it for him.

I wasn't really prepared for it, but want to teach my son pride and confidance in his body, but not disdain for anyone else. In answering his questions publicly, I didn't want to embarrass the other boy, or his mother, or suggest he was imperfect, but also wanted to be clear that Axel's intact penis was normal and perfect.

It's tricky figuring out what to say- I'm very against circumsicion but I don't want to teach superiority...
This is exactly how I feel. Although I don't agree with circumcision, I don't want to be "haughty" (if that's even the right word) or appear that "my decision is better than yours" even if it really is.
post #36 of 49
Since last week I am more worried about adults and what THEY can say to an intact child. A little kid is tricky enough but I am more worried all of a sudden about another UA VIOLATION trash talking behind my back about my son's genitals. My friends husband knows he is intact so I just went ahead with the diaper change. Later on my friend told how her husband was soooo happy that their son doesn't look that "disgusting", it's "so long".

What kind of UA VIOLATION has the gall to talk about about a 14 months old penis like it's a disease? Nothing more important?

Sorry, I am still occupied with that account and really started thinking about situations, both with other kids but adults at this are mainly my concern- because some won't hesitate to "shame" a child for being intact.
post #37 of 49
I showed a pregnant friend my son's penis during a diaper change so she could see he wasn't "weird"
post #38 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
I just had a 'moment' this afternoon!!

I was wearing my "circumcision harms babies and the men they become sweatshirt" when I went to pick up my DD at preschool. A mom was there with her son (approx. 10 YO) and he read my shirt and asked me what it meant...I told him (right in front of mama) to ask his mother...she gave me a really dirty look and turned an odd shade of green...
YOU ROCK Fyrestorm!!!
post #39 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
I just had a 'moment' this afternoon!!

I was wearing my "circumcision harms babies and the men they become sweatshirt" when I went to pick up my DD at preschool. A mom was there with her son (approx. 10 YO) and he read my shirt and asked me what it meant...I told him (right in front of mama) to ask his mother...she gave me a really dirty look and turned an odd shade of green...
Wow just wow.
post #40 of 49
i live in europe so the babies and adults around here aren't circumcised so i don't have to worry about this personally--but i just have to say that small children as a rule don't notice these things.
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