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Queer TTC May 2008 - Page 2

post #21 of 534
5/1/08 at 2:16pm
Thread Starter 
KJM - Thanks for the laughs and sorry you and DP are on different pages about TTC right now. I hope you can work it out soon. I have a DP who will always have cold feet . . . until there is a baby in her arms.

Frog - I hope you can get that in this week and get back in the game

Simplelah hang in there

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post #22 of 534
5/1/08 at 2:19pm
Our update:

I'm waiting to bleed, and when that happens, I call the clinic and set up an ultrasound for two weeks later, during which time I'll be on their "protocol" for replacing embryos.
Then we truck on down to the big city for the u/s to see how the lining looks.
If it's a-okay, we go home and then come back a few days later for the implant. If the lining needs some more cheerleader action, I stay on the dope for another week and then we do the same yo-yo trip again.

Just to make things interesting ... during all of this we sold our condo and bought a house. Even more interesting is that we move at the end of the month, which will be smack dab in the middle of our ttw. This was not planned. I wanted to move well after we knew if we were pregnant ... alas, the date was bumped up. So we've hired true to life, honest to goodness, can't believe it's not butter, bonafide movers. Expensive, but kind of nice to imagine letting them do the heavy work.

Oh, and even more interesting is that I have a major deadline with my publisher on May 9th.

post #23 of 534
5/1/08 at 2:20pm
And Frog, you'll appreciate this ... a good, meaty SIGN:

We were out for dinner last night with DP's coworkers, who I don't know at all, really. We'd just signed on the house that morning. One of the wives said, "Oh, I know three couples who just sold their condos in the same complex and bought houses in the same neighbourhood you're moving to and they all ended up pregnant within a month!"

She has no clue that we're even trying.

So ... thank you : Big Mama for the sign!
post #24 of 534
5/1/08 at 2:24pm
Oh, you know how I LOVE the signs!

ETA: Your publisher?
post #25 of 534
5/1/08 at 2:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by frog View Post

ETA: Your publisher?
Yes ... I'm a writer (the paramedic thing is to sooth my ADHD tendencies and feed my addiction to adrenaline). I write Young Adult fiction. The deadline is for my 8th book.

And what does ETA mean?
post #26 of 534
5/1/08 at 2:36pm
... and now that I've come out as a writer, I suppose I'll have to mind my grammar. Meh.
post #27 of 534
5/1/08 at 2:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by starling&diesel View Post
So we've hired true to life, honest to goodness, can't believe it's not butter, bonafide movers. Expensive, but kind of nice to imagine letting them do the heavy work.
Congrats on getting the ball rolling! Even if it is rolling a bit more quickly than you'd imagined.

I will never move again without hiring movers. It was the best thing we've ever done! It cut down on so much stress, and saved my poor back and knees from even more wear and tear.
post #28 of 534
5/1/08 at 3:00pm
And big s and a huge shot of clarity going out to those who are in negotiations/making decisions right now.

It does seem to get harder the longer you're at this. I also secretly thought that we would be one of the ones to get pregnant on the first or second try. It's been 8 months since we started tracking, but only 4 tries in that time. We haven't been trying as long as some around here, but I can definitely relate to the feelings of dread, relief, and cold feet. I think it's easier for me to keep my eyes on the goal and keep stubbornly moving ahead, since it's my own body and experience. It's harder for Blake to see this as something tangible, because she's not the one measuring, tracking, feeling, analyzing every twinge and cramp.

We actually had a bit of a meltdown last month right after the insem, because it just felt like she was just going through the motions and not really "there" with me in the process anymore. She thinks she detaches more as a defense mechanism to help get through the disappointment of it not working. Which is great for her but leaves me feeling pretty deserted!
post #29 of 534
5/1/08 at 3:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by starling&diesel View Post
Yes ... I'm a writer (the paramedic thing is to sooth my ADHD tendencies and feed my addiction to adrenaline). I write Young Adult fiction. The deadline is for my 8th book.

And what does ETA mean?
ETA = edited to add

You don't have to mind your grammar if I don't. I'm an editor. Well, freelance, now, but did it full time for about seven years.
post #30 of 534
5/1/08 at 3:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by astraphell View Post
We actually had a bit of a meltdown last month right after the insem, because it just felt like she was just going through the motions and not really "there" with me in the process anymore. She thinks she detaches more as a defense mechanism to help get through the disappointment of it not working. Which is great for her but leaves me feeling pretty deserted!
We go through this, too. turtle's tendency is to check out totally and leave things to me in order to protect herself. I hear you loud and clear.

This thread has been INVALUABLE to me because of that.
post #31 of 534
5/1/08 at 3:46pm

Serial posting, now

I'm on the phone scheduling the mid-cycle ultrasound for tomorrow RIGHT NOW. Woot!
post #32 of 534
5/1/08 at 3:47pm
KJM You're killing me over here!! : You know, you totally ROCK, sister!

On a side note, I think the longer your at this whole TTC thing the more time you have to question your intent and decision to have a child. I bet Molly would be over the top if you get knocked up. It's a big and scary decision and not one you can just fix or take back. I'm scared. I've totally figured out that's my issue. I'm freaking scared. I'm scared of getting pregnant and scare that I won't. Fear sucks.

Smarty, I agree with frog. It's not really for my family but if it is for your's there is nothing wrong with both of you trying at the same time. As for the known donor issue neither of us have brothers so that's out. I do like that idea though and do know of two couples who have children from their partner's brother. I think if the option is available, boundries are agreed upon, and everyone is comfortable with it; it's a nice option to have.

Pran, hope those nipples stay tender. (Only on this thread would I ever think of saying that )

LaH

S&D, YEAHNESS for the pending implanting!!

astraphell, I couldn't agree more.
post #33 of 534
5/1/08 at 3:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by frog View Post
I'm on the phone scheduling the mid-cycle ultrasound for tomorrow RIGHT NOW. Woot!
Frog, does this mean you'll be doing an IUI this cycle if you have some good eggies ready to pop?
post #34 of 534
5/1/08 at 3:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BurtsGirl View Post
Frog, does this mean you'll be doing an IUI this cycle if you have some good eggies ready to pop?
Nope--I'm on bcp for this cycle. What this means is that we'll do an IUI next cycle, rather than having to wait one more.
post #35 of 534
5/1/08 at 4:09pm
I thought I'd chime in on the subject of not being genetically connected to our child.

Personally, I am relieved. If I could have genetic babies, I'd worry that any boy would grow up to be an alcoholic, rage-soaked, manic depressive abuser (going back four generations, no matter what the parenting style!).

My partner, never having any intention of carrying, has long since resolved this within herself.

We know the egg donor of our embryos (she's a good friend) and the sperm donor sounds normal enough in his profile ... self aware and articulate, at least.

Sometimes I feels pangs of worry that our child will drift towards the genetic mother as time passes (read: adolescence, young adulthood ... the rebellion years.) Our children (they have two, we'll have however many we're blessed with from six frozen totsicles) will have a 'cousin' relationship with their girls even though they will be genetic siblings.

However, that occasional worry is a dark, shivering little concern that isn't bold enough to assert itself in the light of day. So I hope (and pray, for good measure) that our sproglet --- while not genetically connected to either of us -- will be ours in every sense of the word.
post #36 of 534
5/1/08 at 4:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by frog View Post
We go through this, too. turtle's tendency is to check out totally and leave things to me in order to protect herself. I hear you loud and clear.

This thread has been INVALUABLE to me because of that.
Huh. It's not just me and DW that go through this too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BurtsGirl View Post
It's a big and scary decision and not one you can just fix or take back. I'm scared. I've totally figured out that's my issue. I'm freaking scared. I'm scared of getting pregnant and scare that I won't. Fear sucks.
Huh. It's not just me that feels that too.

Wow. I'm NOT a total lunatic. My relationship dynamics in this process ARE normal. Well whaddaya know?
post #37 of 534
5/1/08 at 4:52pm
Frog, woot woot on your ultrasound!!

S&D: Congrats on your impending implantation!! : And awesome SIGN, I love it!!

Thanks everyone for your replies!! It is such a relief to know that others go through similar trials. I think I have learned something new about each one of you and the struggles you have had. You guys are all amazing!!

Thanks for thinking we aren't weird for trying at the same time. Quasar burst my bubble this morning on that when she mentioned, "Who is going to take care of the pets when we are both pregnant / taking care of new borns?" Oh, yeah. I was serious about the dog nanny part. We might have to hire one.

OH!... and...
AAMP (All About My Pup): He was officially declared in remission last week!! Woot Woot!!
post #38 of 534
5/1/08 at 5:00pm
smarty, if you move closer to us, turtle can nanny your dog. She's an animal whisperer of the highest order. I kid you not.
post #39 of 534
5/1/08 at 5:08pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartycat View Post
OH!... and...
AAMP (All About My Pup): He was officially declared in remission last week!! Woot Woot!!
WooHoo!! That is definitely cause to celebrate!!
: : :



I am not getting any work done today. . . Must. . . Leave. . . MDC. . .

post #40 of 534
5/1/08 at 10:19pm
OK. There is way too much excitement on here for me, now relegated to the lowly lurker role.

But, I MUST know what YA books you've written, S&D. I'm a fan of the good YA stuff, as a teacher/former teacher....dying to know over here!

(Oh, feel free to pm if you don't want to reveal your ID publicly, or to just make me guess if it's too much to ask).


megin

You may also like:

Pink for Girls, Blue for Boys - What do you think?
You Can't Spoil Them with Love
There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Life as a Parent › Queer Parenting › Queer TTC May 2008