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The MAY 2008 Infertility One Thread - Page 3

post #41 of 162
Originally Posted by baturay View Post
Julia'sMom, I don't know your history, but would Clomid be an option to try before IVF?
This was my 2nd round of clomid. Apparently I am not responding, even at 150mg.

Originally Posted by mischievium;
As a former NICU RN, the steeply increased risk of prematurity for high order multiples (HOM) would be a huge consideration for me, and I don't know if I would have the heart to go through with selective reduction. I, personally, would lean toward IVF, but nothing is failsafe. And, in my case, what worries me about going straight to IVF is that if it doesn't work, there's no other higher level of intervention to go to, the buck stops there (although, there are always various changes in protocol that can be made to increase chances of success in subsequent IVF attempts). Good luck with whatever you and your DH decide .

Selective reduction is an issue to think about either way you go because, while you can control the number of embryos put back with IVF, you can't account for the possibility of the embryos splitting (and the risk for identical twinning is slightly increased with ICSI and/or assisted hatching).
Higher order multiples scare me silly. It was hard enough taking care of 1 newborn, I could probably do 2 but any more than that would be crazy, especially because they are likely to be premature and require additional care. However, I do not agree with selective reduction, a personal choice. So, I think I'm heavily leaning towards IVF. We are blessed to have insurance, so while it's still pricey, it's within reach. However, insurance does limit the number of attempts, so that still plays in. The RE said I would have a 50% change of conceiving, 12% chance of twins and a 1% chance of triples with transfering 2 embryos.

Originally Posted by Perdita_in_Ontario View Post
Thanks :-)
My RE doesn't know about the nursing - he wanted me to wean DD. After a lot of soul-searching, I made the decision to continue. She's not nursing much anyway because she is in daycare, so it's before work, after work sometimes, and bed-time. For our second (unsuccesful IVF in Jan - the embryos didn't survive to transfer) I was night-nursing, but we night-weaned not long after. Based on the three cycles, I haven't seen any differences between the first in 2004 and these in terms of dosage, # follicles, response, etc. With a younger child, or a child who nursed more, there might be more of an effect. There's no right answer here. I decided to continue because I'd researched the safety and felt it was safe and I didn't want to lose that relationship over an attempt to get pregnant. Other women have made the opposite choice and I can completely understand that - it's very personal.
Take care!
Thanks for the response! My RE too doesn't know about my nursing. My thinking was the same as yours, she's almost two and doesn't nurse much with my working. We are trying to nightwean, although she sttn on occasion. However, IVF is raising the stakes a lot higher than clomid and is making me reevaluate.
post #42 of 162
kristinc - good luck with those 2 embies. I'm sending you lots of sticky vibes.

Poetgirl - I agree about rewriting our lives. I'm at the point where I am sick and tired of grieving over how different my life is now than what I'd always imagined and am now trying to adjust my expectations. It's hard, but I try and count my blessings each day.
post #43 of 162
post #44 of 162
julia's mom - with dc #2 we got up to 250 mg before even ovulating. i don't get my period or ovulate on my own. now, with ttc #3, we learned clomid is not even an option as my tubes are blocked. but, i'm going through ivf right now.

kristinc - oh gosh, stick babies stick!
post #45 of 162
kristinc - sticky baby vibes to you... and sanity vibes for the next few weeks!

Speaking of expectations, I always thought that since dh is so supportive that this wouldn't really be a big strain on our relationship. It might even bring us closer, struggling through hardship together, is what I thought.

Not so. He's great, but I'm starting to feel like I need to redefine our relationship. We dated for 5 years before we got married, and while we communicated frequently we didn't see each other much (a few times a week). We've been married nearly 4 years and have seen each other a LOT in that time (practically every day). I'm ready to separate again somewhat. Absence making the heart fonder, maybe. I feel like I should have friends that he doesn't share and do more stuff without him.

I think that this wouldn't be coming up had the original plan to get pregnant worked out. Now I feel like there's a big empty place in my life, and I'm not sure what to do with it.
post #46 of 162
AF showed up today...
I talked to my RE's nurse and we're going to do 25mg clomid (+IUI) this cycle, so I'm going in for my baseline ultrasound on friday. I feel so blue today, so crappy. And now I have terrible cramps and a backache.

any advice for our first medicated cycle? I'm going to go and read through old threads, so hopefully that will give me some idea of what to expect...

songbird45, I'm so sorry you are having a tough time in your relationship. It is such a difficult thing to go through IF. I think having your own thing going on is a great idea - whether it's hobbies, finding activities and friendships that are more independent from your DH, it's important for self-esteem. I have struggled with that too, and it's helped to make sure I do my own thing, even if it's just going to a yoga class... big hugs to you.
post #47 of 162
I just wrote this in the May IUI thread, but wanted to cross post, to see if anyone here had suggestions on how to deal...
the arrival of AF today has been really tough... (duh), but it's also causing DH and I to fight, which hasn't happened before after a failed cycle. Usually we are extra sweet to each other at that time, but today we just keep snapping at each other. It's getting me even more down, and I know he's down too. Somehow, even when we try to make up, we end up arguing about something stupid again 5 minutes later. Ug. I think we both had real hopes for this cycle, and it just keeps getting harder to be positive about the next one, you know?

I just want to get on with the next cycle. At least we'll be distracted by the upcoming U/S and my first time taking clomid.

thanks for letting me vent. I guess I needed to get that out ...
post #48 of 162
Biomama: DH and I usually do that the day after I start, the first day I am usually just weepy and he tries to comfort me, but by the next day I am just PI$$ED!!!!! and no matter what he does I get annoyed and when I get annoyed he gets all defensive and we end up bickering all day. Usually on those days, I just try to stay away from him, I usually will take a glass of wine and head to the bedroom and call my best friend and talk or watch some TV until its time to go to sleep, by the next day we are BOTH in better places emotionally. Infertility is NO FUN, whether your the man or women and those emotions run very strong when you are freshly disappointed. I know you wrote that post yesterday and hopefully you are both feeling better today, I just wanted to let you know you are not the ONLY couple who goes through that!! If anything I think it is healthy bc at least your DH is on the same page as you are and is just as disappointed as you are, I know some husbands dont really understand the whole infertility thing, so at least you KNOW you have a good man!! Good luck next cycle!!
post #49 of 162
Thread Starter 
Songbird- I know what you are going through about needing your space!

My DH is an airline pilot, usually gone for 4-5 days then home for a few days then gone again. I am very accustomed to having my time on my own. Now, with his cancer, he's off work and at home ALL the time. For 10 weeks, it's been near impossible to not be with him unless I am at work. And I feel like crap sometimes for wanting and needing to get away from him when I'm supposed to be supportive of him going through this. Don't feel guilty about needing time and activites away, it's a completely normal desire. Plus, men and women handle stress and disappointment differently and you may find that a new outlet for you ends up enhancing your relationship with him.

Good luck!

post #50 of 162
I'm actually kind of the opposite when it comes to dh... theres only been once (I know shocking) in our 5 years together that we have been apart more than 2 days... but I love the way our lives are so entwined like that... it makes me feel good to have him with me

dh is going on a 4 day hike with his dad, over a big mountain... in june... and I honestly dont know what I'm going to do with myself... I'm just counting my blessings that I've got my dad, sis and youngest bro just around the corner

I wont say we dont ever fight (because we do... but what healthy relationship doesnt?)

but like kim said... everybody needs an outlet... and you deserve it

(kim you have amazing insight!)
post #51 of 162
Just goes to show that every relationship is different, I guess. We did two long distance stints, once for 7 months and once for 9 months. We visited monthly but lived in different states. We both have very busy lives so when we weren't living together we had to schedule time in our week for each other. So it was great to live together and suddenly have lots of time for each other at first (for, um, 3 1/2 years) and I'm sure the sudden dissatisfaction is just that the allotted time for "just us no kids" is over. I really believed I'd be at least pregnant by now.
post #52 of 162
Hi everyone!

I had some misplaced postings (where do they go?) and got discouraged with the whole board for a bit. And PMS! AF has arrived, so at this moment I have to decide whether to start bcp and roll with this cycle (we have the go ahead AND the meds) and risk being inflated and uncomfortable while taking care of a 2 year old on my own when dh has to go out of town for a couple of days OR wait this month out. Yikes. I am keen to get going, but I think avoiding the stress (and likely arguing about responsibilities) is probably the most important. So we'll likely be cycling in July. EEK!!!

Good luck to you all!
post #53 of 162
Just checking in--I've got 8 days of bcp left, prescriptions to pick up at the pharmacy, and the final (notarized...) paperwork en route to the sperm bank. Everything's looking good for our IUI next cycle.
post #54 of 162
Originally Posted by barose View Post

I have not been temping this cycle because I need to get some distance. I’m on CD 26 and have NO idea where I am. We made sure to BD or couse especially when I had EWCM (yesterday) but that the extent of ttc right now. In a perfect world, it would be enough.
I gave up my thermometer last fall. I was always waking up too early, then taking temps, and always having to guess at an adjustment for hours-too-early or hours-too-late, not a full three hours' sleep, etc, and all of the anxiety about it was making me lose even more sleep. Eek! So it was heavenly to give it up, which happened to coincide with giving up acupuncture (after 8 mos, with a NOT-at-ALL experienced-in-fertility TCM-- so don't let that dissuade you from seeking a good one yourself). So it was very relieving, and I since did soem of my own research and started vitex (3 mos now). But the mystery of my cycle was also a little too mysterious, especially since I have very little CM, and my CP also doesn't tell me much. (It can move drastically if I lean only a little bit in one direction!) So then I discovered OPKs!!! And it's enough for me.

We're now at the end of our Take-A-Break-From-Medicine period, and I'm beginning to go in two directions: (1) looking at adoption, and (2) seeking modern medicine. Poetgirl, your path inspires me, because I feel like it's my yoga practice that's the most important, but maybe I'm missing a little something else.

Sigh. Wish me luck. This AF time is certainly SOOOO difficult, for too many obvious reasons!!!
post #55 of 162
Thread Starter 
I see that the Duggar's (that ridulously large family that keeps growing to keep their media coverage up) are expecting baby #19. # 18 is only 9 months old.

Any one else feel like vomiting? Is it ruining my karma to be so annoyed by them and their rampant fertility?


post #56 of 162
Originally Posted by EastbayK View Post
I see that the Duggar's (that ridulously large family that keeps growing to keep their media coverage up) are expecting baby #19. # 18 is only 9 months old.

Any one else feel like vomiting? Is it ruining my karma to be so annoyed by them and their rampant fertility?


It is irritating!! That woman's body is going to fall apart one of these days!! After more than 6 pregnancies your heart is usually enlarged and increases the likelihood to have some serious complications as far as preterm labor, postpartum hemmorhage or uterine rupture from being preg so many times!!! not going to be such a good show if its 19 kids w/ no mom!!

Plus, I was watching one of their shows and it was telling how when the children turn 2 they get assigned a "buddy" and it is the responsibility of the older child to look after the younger one. to me that sounds like a child is raising a child!
post #57 of 162
I just wanted to say I just read that story and it has ruined my whole mood. Living here in Arkansas I hear more about them than most other people since they constantly make local news on every single outing. I totally agree that she is just going to fall apart, that's a lot to put your body through year after year. I think I read she's been pregnant an equivilent of 12ish years.
post #58 of 162

babble with one question (bolded)

You know how sometimes you ask a nurse or RE or whatever a question and you feel like they answer it but later you think about and realize you sort of still don't get it?

I had an RE appointment and they gave us the go ahead to start bcp when AF arrived, but we are waiting a month because dh is going out of town right when I will be needing him the most (for me and to take over with dd). I feel like I don't want to look back and think the cycle would have gone better with me being less stressed.

Anyway, it was a long, jam packed appointment, including the med teach and they did an u/s to count follicles? no, the pre-follicle whatevers? The RE used an analogy of counting how many chocolate chips on each cookie (ovary). Bit weird, no? Anyway, why do they do that exactly? I had more than 20 on each one so that means, what? Good? Bad? Be careful because I might overstim?

AND the RE gave us a big speech about how they do more SET at the 5 day blast stage now. They will offer us the choice depending on how many we have and what they look like at day 3. The cycle that resulted in my dd we transferred 3, lower grade embies. Lots to think/obsess about!!!! I told them I "know someone" who had a very sad experience with waiting until day 5 and having none to transfer, thinking of you Perdita.

Hope everyone is doing well!!!
post #59 of 162
Originally Posted by crazyrunningmama View Post
Anyway, it was a long, jam packed appointment, including the med teach and they did an u/s to count follicles? no, the pre-follicle whatevers? The RE used an analogy of counting how many chocolate chips on each cookie (ovary). Bit weird, no? Anyway, why do they do that exactly? I had more than 20 on each one so that means, what? Good? Bad? Be careful because I might overstim?
So I'm not sure either, but I had a similar U/S (my first one) where they counted antral follicles. Maybe that's what they were doing?

What I understood was that counting antral follicles on CD3 gives an idea of ovarian reserve. If you have a lot (>20 counts as a lot), that is a good sign. I think it means that you have a lot of eggies left. If they didn't say it was bad, and if it's likely they were counting antral follicles, I think you can take it as good news!

Of course, don't take my word for it. I would call them back and ask to talk to a nurse about it, maybe she can explain it better.

I find it really hard to remember all my questions at a visit. Also to remember what they say back to you! And to process what they are saying at the same time, and then think of new questions... it's really tough. I love bringing DH with me, just because I know he's really listening to them, and he usually has some questions that I hadn't thought of yet. We have our de-briefing in the car on the way home.
post #60 of 162
Little IVF update...I had another u/s and bloodwork today and have too many follicles to count! She counted just up to 12 on each ovary that were the largest. There were more, but she said too many to count. She said if I was doing IUI, this would be a problem, but as we are doing IVF, it's a really good thing. Going again tomorrow and this coming week will be egg retrieval.
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