How to handle different kinds of tantrums? (2yr 10mo)

[Celina]

DD is 2yr 10months and me and DH are disagreeing how to handle her tantrums. I´m more gentle, he´s not. I´m returning to work tomorrow for 2 months for the first time after DD´s birth and I´m terrified of how her tantrums will be handled when I´m not here So I really need to keep reading this forum but was wondering if anyone knows a website or some other source that would teach you how to handle these different kinds of tantrums? Usually the advice they give is about tantrums in general but IMO there should be more options to different situations, right? (When they "just" want your attention, when they can´t have what they want, when there doesn´t seem to be an obvious reason for the tantrum, etc etc)

I´m really stressed over this disagreeing we have and would love to find good answers to this problem so we could talk and agree on how to handle her tantrums.

TIA so much!

[allgirls]

yes there are different ways of handling tantrums depending on what caused them.

Frustration at not being able to do something for themselves, frustration at not being allowed to do something, breakdowns over every little thing because of hunger, tired, overtired, overstimulation etc.

I think there are some resources at the top in a sticky that might be of help.

My general rule of thumb is to be available, hold the child if they will allow it, if it seems to drive the intensity up I am more likely to leave them alone with it and just let them know I am nearby.

I am out of time. Wish I could be of more help

[Celina]

Yeah I read the sticky "Fresh approach to tantrums". But that as well was about tantrums in general. (If I remember right)

What I usually read is that you shouldn´t ignore tantrums. Then I read on Dr Sears website and book about tantrums again and they surprised me a lot. They say depending on why the tantrum is happening it´s ok to ignore some tantrums when the child is older. It feels so cruel to me to ignore them, I mean just saying something to DD and just leaving her on the floor.

(They also said that there will be less tantrums when the child gets close to 2yr or so because then the child is able to speak and tell you what´s bothering her/him. Ha! DD is 2 months short of 3yr and it´s got worse. When is it gonna end?!

I so wish to find a guide to tell you exactly what to do when x happens and when y happens and when z happens. It is so difficult sometimes to know what to do.