Overnight hospital stay question

[Mandala126]

I just saw my midwife for my first appt. We're due in Nov. Our first LO is almost 15 mo and the midwife said she won't be able to stay with me and DH at the hospital overnight when the new baby is born. She said I have to consider other patients (???). DD still nurses strong at night, she's never been away from me at night. She might nightwean by Nov. but if she doesn't I don't know what I'll do. Has anyone heard of this "rule" before? Thank you!!

[paquerette]

Seems rather silly. There will be crying newborns and vocal laboring women in the other rooms, how much more disruptive to sleep can a toddler be? The walls should be better soundproofed than that anyway.

Is there any reason you anticipate needing to stay overnight? Unless the baby is born late in the evening, I can't see why you would if you have a problem-free birth.

Have you thought about homebirth?

[alegna]

It's common in many places. Some hospitals still don't let DAD stay overnight (or only if you pay extra $$$$ for a private room....)

I agree- have you considered homebirth?

-Angela

[Mandala126]

Homebirth is my dream but I can't do it for a couple of reasons: no HB midwife in my area, I checked everywhere. And my insur. won't cover it.

[alegna]

Don't let the insurance deter you. If homebirth with midwives is "legal" in your area, then insurance probably HAS to cover it (unless you have a HMO - maybe- or the specific policy outlaws it- maybe-)

Keep looking for a midwife! There are a lot out there that are just a little harder to find.

-Angela

[pjabslenz]

Originally Posted by Mandala126

Homebirth is my dream but I can't do it for a couple of reasons: no HB midwife in my area, I checked everywhere. And my insur. won't cover it.

Where are you located? The only reason I am asking is because when I was pregnant with our 2nd, we were in Pittsburgh, PA at the time. I was receiving my prenatal care at The Midwife Center and they were in the process of becoming a free standing birthing center. The had construction delays with their birthing rooms and their opening date was pushed back. Unfortunately, for me, this meant having to birth in the hospital. I was devastated and mourned the loss of the birthing center birth. I was frantically searching for a homebirth midwife and asking everywhere to find someway to avoid the hospital.

My dd's birth was awesome and a huge learning exprience for me. I did have her in the hospital but I fully trusted my body and headed there when I couldn't talk through contractions. She was born 25 minutes after we arrived there(1:45am) and wasn't seperated from us...she couldn't be released until the pediatrician examined her in the morning so we spent the night, waited until her exam and checked out by noon. It is to this day my most fulfilling birth experience because of my personal growth and overall trust in the birthing process.

At my 6 weeks post-partum visit at the center, I encounterd a woman that was newly pregnant. This was her 4th and she was telling me how her pregnancy came as a surprise and she was somewhat sad that she wouldn't be using the birthing center because she had devoted time and energy into getting the birthing center to it's "free-standing" status. She then informed me she was planning a homebirth this time around because that's where she is most comfortable. I never asked about her homebirth midwives but my point here is that sometimes the homebirthing midwives are underground and they are hard to find.

Have you contacted the La Leche League women/leaders, in your area to see if they know any? I'd keep asking around if your heart is set on a homebirth. One another note though, maybe the hospital birth & separation won't be as bad as you're thinking it will be.

[Mandala126]

I'm in Waynesboro, Pa but we're going to the Gettysburg Hosp. that's where my hosp. midwife is who delivered DD #1. I called my insurance and they said they would need to pre approve the HB, the midwife would have to write a statement and they would either accept or deny. Thanks for your encouraging words about the hospital stay, I thought about it not being too bad. My first birth there with this midwife was perfect, I had total freedom of everything. Thank you again mamas!!!

[Ironica]

I've never heard of a hospital that will allow an overnight guest besides dad to room in, frankly :-/. Our son stayed with grandma for the nights we were at the hospital (I was in labor overnight, and then we stayed about 24 hours after the birth, which was in the evening).

[MommyinMN]

Originally Posted by Ironica

I've never heard of a hospital that will allow an overnight guest besides dad to room in, frankly :-/. Our son stayed with grandma for the nights we were at the hospital (I was in labor overnight, and then we stayed about 24 hours after the birth, which was in the evening).

At the hospital I where my son was born siblings could stay the night. It wasn't "offical" but siblings did not have to follow visiting hours and there was no time limit that they had to follow. My own dd went home with her grandmother and dh went home at night anyway, but I had several friends stay there that had their older child stay with them at the hospital.

Maybe the night nurses were just awesome

[chandasz]

Where my 2nd was born -- children couldn't stay over due to insurance reasons-- rooms were not "baby safe". Kind of funny (not really).

We decided to go home early... we got to hospital-- had baby 1 hour later-- went home 12 hours after that.

That's another option for you.

[paquerette]

Do you mind if I ask around? I think there may be some midwives on the outskirts of your area who would travel to you.

[CallMeMommy]

Originally Posted by alegna

It's common in many places. Some hospitals still don't let DAD stay overnight (or only if you pay extra $$$$ for a private room....)

The Mighty Mayo Clinic would be one of those, I had DS at 31 weeks, was 23 years old, over an hour away from home, and the only reason DH got to stay was because my nurse took sympathy on me and let him sleep on the floor next to me : Oh I could write a book about Mayo...

[meganmarie]

We were in similar situation to you. What we did was gently nightwean DS between 15 and 18 months, when I was in early pregnancy - honestly because I was so exhausted it just wasn't working for us anymore. That was a personal choice. He still nursed on demand in the daytime through the pregancy. DD was born in hospital with midwives when DS was almost 22 months old. We could not have DS in the hospital outside daytime visting hours - I don't know any hospitals that would allow it. I wanted to keep our hospital stay as short as possible to minimize separation. But DH was nervous about baby's health so we did stay 24 hours. (Shorter than the standard 48, a fair compromise with DH). After the birth, DS came to meet the baby and hang out with me a few hours. Overnight, DH stayed home with DS and my sister stayed with me in the hospital room to help me rooming-in with the baby. DD naturally wanted to be held all night, and I was crashing hard after the high of birthing, so I was very glad for the help! DS and DH showed up 1st thing the next morning and we got out of the hospital as quick as we could get the paperwork done. Everyone survived and was just fine.

[Mandala126]

Originally Posted by paquerette

Do you mind if I ask around? I think there may be some midwives on the outskirts of your area who would travel to you.

Plese do, that would be wonderful. I just asked a friend and there is one, only one HB midwife, quite some distance away from me who serves the plain people here but of course she doesn't take insurance. There is always something The are plenty HB midwives in Lancaster Cty but that's way too far.

[JBaxter]

I know Evelyn will come at least as far as Hagerstown, MD she delivered for a mom I kind of know( hb midwife). Her last name escapes me right now ( check the MD tribe area) There are also midwives at Washington County hospital but I think you will run into the same issue with your daughter

Have you checked Waynesboro hospital? Ive heard they are really layed back and actually have few deliveries so you get lots of care.

[wannabe]

My hospital had that rule, but no-one said a word. I agree about the noise of new babies and labouring women.

[thefragile7393]

I...personally would be kind if hesitent of following that rule, for reasons mentioned by Paquerette, and i personally think that your child should be taken into consideration first. Or, as a pp mentioned, leave after 12 hours or so perhaps.

Of course if you're able to birth at home this won't be an issue but if it turns out you must be in the hospital, maybe try playing it by ear and see what happens.

[Kidzaplenty]

I have never birthed in an hospital so this may not be something to consider, but I was really wondering, what would an active toddler do to be stuck in a tiny room for a day or two? It would seem that they would get bored quickly and want to run around. And since the rooms are not child safe they could get hurt.

So I can see the hospitals policies on this for a reason.

But then again, I just HB. So I really don't know.