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Touchy Question? - Page 6

post #101 of 105
5/16/08 at 4:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnieNova View Post
I am planning to wait until the last minute to decide. ...I figure I will leave it up to my last minute intuition to make the decision for me.
This has clearly been a difficult decision process for you, and I think it is great that you have taken time to really explore all the options.

If you wait until the last minute to make a decision, and find that you are still struggling with the merits of home versus hospital between contractions, you may not be in the best frame of mind for decision-making. Labor is immensely distracting; once I reached active labor, I lost all sense of time, and was so inwardly-focused that I couldn't have carried on a conversation or made a decision to save my life. If birthing at home feels safe and comfortable to you, then commit to staying home...if a hospital helps you to feel secure and cared-for, then plan to find a doctor NOW and go to the hospital. (Don't, I repeat don't just plan to walk in during labor - you'll be assigned a doctor at random who has no interest in adhering to your birth plan, and you'll be much more likely to have interventions done that you don't want.)

Labor will unfold more easily for you if you are confident and relaxed, rather than anxious and stressed. Make your decision now, commit yourself to it, and move forward without second-guessing yourself. You can trust your instincts NOW, you don't have to wait for labor to begin.
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post #102 of 105
5/18/08 at 11:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by doctormom View Post
This has clearly been a difficult decision process for you, and I think it is great that you have taken time to really explore all the options.

If you wait until the last minute to make a decision, and find that you are still struggling with the merits of home versus hospital between contractions, you may not be in the best frame of mind for decision-making. Labor is immensely distracting; once I reached active labor, I lost all sense of time, and was so inwardly-focused that I couldn't have carried on a conversation or made a decision to save my life. If birthing at home feels safe and comfortable to you, then commit to staying home...if a hospital helps you to feel secure and cared-for, then plan to find a doctor NOW and go to the hospital. (Don't, I repeat don't just plan to walk in during labor - you'll be assigned a doctor at random who has no interest in adhering to your birth plan, and you'll be much more likely to have interventions done that you don't want.)

Labor will unfold more easily for you if you are confident and relaxed, rather than anxious and stressed. Make your decision now, commit yourself to it, and move forward without second-guessing yourself. You can trust your instincts NOW, you don't have to wait for labor to begin.


Oh I sooooo agree! It would be much harder (is much harder, BTDT) to get over a botched birth experience that you have regrets about than to plan for the birth you want and get over anxieties about something new and different.
And it is really only scary for all the reasons enumerated on this thread - the medical community does not want us to trust that birth is safe because then we don't need them. So they use fear. Kinda like a certain lame duck president, but that's another thread...
Get quiet and go inward. Ask the baby, ask your spirit, listen to your intuition. If you are a praying woman, do that. Meditate. Do whatever you need to do to get yourself comfortable with knowing what to do.

And what's that Mark Twain quote? "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."

Do the rocking chair test - you're 90 and sitting in your rocker. Think about your birth at the hospital, how do you feel? Think about it having been at home. How do you feel?
post #103 of 105
5/19/08 at 1:21pm
Without looking back into the thread to remind myself of how far a long you are, I do not know off the top of my head. But if you are going to go to the hospital then you do need to get a dr now because many drs will not take patients that are far a long. Also you need to establish a relationship with him/her because that is one of the most vital parts of birth....having a trusting relationship with the person that is helping bring YOUR child into the world safely. I would not just want some random "jo smo" delivering my child. I actually had to deal with that partly with my hospital birth. My dr twisted his ankle while playing basketball the night before and they did not know if he would be able to deliver. So they brought in this other dr which I did not know. He was not overly nice and I believe the exact words in regards to him taking me was..... "Just fit you in". I was not in active labor at that point. I had dialated mostly but was not feeling the urge to push or anything. I knew I could wait a couple of hours for my dr to come in. But since that dr was just fitting me in, he decided to break my water.....without my consent. My dd was born 18 minutes after my dr got on ....so he was only there for that little bit. I really think my birth would have been better if I was not in that situation and had MY dr the whole time.......not that my dr and I had the greatest of relationships, but atleast I knew him and I could tell him my feelings easier. Not that it matters, but my dr was ticked at the other dr for what he did.
If you go in last minute, you are going to be thrown with whoever is on call and I really do not think that is good.
I agree, you should make your decision now and stick with it. Atleast that is what I would do...Just like I said before both birth experiences have their pros and cons.....just figure out which one you like more. I know it is easier said, than done. But we all are just trying to help you before you end up in bad situation.
post #104 of 105
5/19/08 at 7:54pm
Thread Starter 
Blessed one, you are right. I need to make a decision and stick by it. Funny, but my husband told me the same thing yesterday. He said "you did all your research and you already made a decision. Stick to the decision you made and confront the fears that come along with that decision". So that is what I plan on doing. There are pros and cons to both situations, and I can work myself up into a worry about each, so the real issue here is dealing with my fears - NOT where I give birth. I have made my decision to home birth and I will stick to it. I think I should mention that my personality type is VERY indecisive - so Blessed One you gave great advice. PS - I am 36 weeks..
post #105 of 105
5/19/08 at 8:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnieNova View Post
Blessed one, you are right. I need to make a decision and stick by it. Funny, but my husband told me the same thing yesterday. He said "you did all your research and you already made a decision. Stick to the decision you made and confront the fears that come along with that decision". So that is what I plan on doing. There are pros and cons to both situations, and I can work myself up into a worry about each, so the real issue here is dealing with my fears - NOT where I give birth. I have made my decision to home birth and I will stick to it. I think I should mention that my personality type is VERY indecisive - so Blessed One you gave great advice. PS - I am 36 weeks..
Thank you and I am so happy for you that you finally came to a decision!!! Just keep kicking out those fears and stick with your decision! I believe you have made the right one........but of course I am bias to homebirthing...lol.
Congrats again!
Wishing you peace and happiness for the remainder of your pregnancy and a joyful homebirth experience!
*hug*