Originally Posted by BonnieNova
I realized my fear stems from the feeling that I do not DESERVE to have what I want. I somehow feel like I DESERVE to have the same birth experience as the other women I know, and if i try for anything better, it will be taken away from me.
I had to assert myself just now and say "this is what I WANT, and Im going to do what I can to get it, and theres NOTHING wrong with that and I don't deserve to be punished for WANTING a great birth experience."
Oh, wow, I completely remember that feeling. I had forgotten about that.
Thanks for starting this thread, Bonnie. In your uncertainty, you're beautifully articulating the process that so many women go through as they approach childbirth.
You're doing the right thing. You're gathering factual information about the birthing process so you understand what will happen, and you're also looking inward and getting an emotional, psychological gauge.
I really wish we had more dialogue like this -- well, we have plenty of it on MDC, but I wish it was more common in real life. Too many women, I think, just show up at the hospital and put it all in the doctor's hands without really thinking about it. It's really helpful to hear other women's birth stories as well.Here's
my birth story. I wouldn't have changed a thing. In the hospital, I know they would have broken my water -- the baby was born in the caul at home. And I was so relaxed and inward at home. I don't think I could have reached that place in the hospital.
Like I said, thanks for starting this thread.