Can having a good ATTITUDE about labor lessen the PAIN?

[Celticqueen]

What do you think?

I am pregnant with #2- 14 weeks to be exact and I am already anxiously studying natural childbirth since I did not have a natural birth with my first.

To confess...My attitude of birth with my first was less than satisfactory and the forceful midwives and hospital atmosphere didn't help.

I went in wanting natural, my water had broke, and they had me stay there over night to see if labor would start on its own...Well, it didn't. So, at 7 am sharp they started me on evil pitocin. I was on that for 9 hours, made it to 9 and a half centimeters and gave up with an epidural not knowing I was in transition because NO ONE WOULD TELL ME I WAS, and therefor delaying labor and pushing for 3 whole hours (is it any wonder I feel like a failure?)

The problem with that day though wasn't just the circumstances...It was my attitude. Sure I was put on pitocin, but my attitude was LOUSY. I seriously wanted to cuss at everyone in the room, especially the midwife and unfortunately, my wonderful husband. I couldn't believe the situation I had been put in and internalized the pain like there was no tomorrow, forgetting the real purpose of all the pain- to meet my child.

This time around I am hoping for a fresh re-start. I will be giving birth in a birth center, and hopefully the waterbirth I have been longing for.

My question: Can having a good attitude about labor lessen the pain?

The way I define having a good attitude in labor is this: Contractions are painful, but I have a focal point- meeting my baby, focusing on the contractions positvely rather than "Why do I have to go through labor!?!?!? This sucks!!!" like last time around. I am a Christian and a musician so for this next time, maybe prayer during labor and positive music in the background would do me some good?

It was that negative attitude last time that lingered on months after post pardum and my bonding with my baby was damaged in the first few days because I was blinded by regret for my failures and my outlook on pain.

Thinking positively on anything in life, even the painful situations that happen to us, can significantly reduce our "hurt".

Can this be true with labor?

-Caitrin

[alegna]

To an extent- absolutely. Can having a happy-go-lucky attitude promise a painfree birth? Of course not. But the way you approach anything has an effect.

My labor with dd hurt. No way around it. BUT, I was in my own space, doing my own thing, with no external pressure or distractions. I was in my own house, could ask for people to bring me my own food. My dh was there and focused on whatever my little heart desired... etc.

I saw it as something I needed to get through to get to the other side. Not something to be fought or cursed. Just a path I had to walk to get where I wanted to be.

good luck!

-Angela

[limette]

A lot of people are strong believers of that way of thinking. Also of the fear/pain cycle.

I don't like it because it blames moms for the pain they feel. I went into both of my labors wanting a natural birth and prepared to handle whatever labour I got. I even did hypnobabies. Both of my labours (first ended in c-section, 2nd all natural vbac) were excruciatingly painful. They both played out exactly the same way in regards to time and pain but the second was posterior.

I was told by a hypno believer, that I didn't believe enough in my body and that's why I felt pain. It's a bit of a slap in the face.

[library lady]

Having a good attitude can help but it won't take away the pain. My first birth experience was in a hospital. I went in feeling positive but it is really easy to lose that positive attitude when you have people doing stuff to you and acting as if you are just a vagina without a face or that you don't need to know what is going on. If I get mad when I am in pain, it makes the pain a thousand times worse and makes me want to lash out.

My second and third births were at home with a midwife. They were awesome. It hurt like crazy but there was nobody there to make me mad or make me lose my concentration. You can have the greatest attitude in the world but that won't help if you are surrounded by people that chip away at you emotionally and physically.

I prepared myself and I knew what to expect. The best way to have a good attitude is to thoroughly educate yourself and make sure that you are surrounded by people that support you.

[berkeleyp]

My first labor was long and painful - i was home so I had no choice but to handle the pain and I did but I definitely focused on the pain more than I needed to and it didnt help.

My second labor was much shorter and I would say WAY less painful. I just relaxed through ctx and also made my dh make out with me as often as possible. Between that and soaking in a nice hot tub is the reason IMO that I went through active labor in about 1 hour.

I highly advise reading "Birthing from Within" and "Spiritual Midwifery"

I think that if you have the attitude that you can do it and that the pain is OK then you will be able to do it.

Labor pain is different than other pain because it has a purpose and it isnt an indication that something is wrong (like pain from a broken bone for example).

[Celticqueen]

Originally Posted by library lady

Having a good attitude can help but it won't take away the pain. My first birth experience was in a hospital. I went in feeling positive but it is really easy to lose that positive attitude when you have people doing stuff to you and acting as if you are just a vagina without a face or that you don't need to know what is going on. If I get mad when I am in pain, it makes the pain a thousand times worse and makes me want to lash out.

My second and third births were at home with a midwife. They were awesome. It hurt like crazy but there was nobody there to make me mad or make me lose my concentration. You can have the greatest attitude in the world but that won't help if you are surrounded by people that chip away at you emotionally and physically.

I prepared myself and I knew what to expect. The best way to have a good attitude is to thoroughly educate yourself and make sure that you are surrounded by people that support you.

I know it can't take the pain "away"

That's why I asked can it "lessen" pain...

-Caitrin

[2+twins]

I believe that yes, having a good attitude can certainly lessen the pain. I do believe strongly in the 'fear leads to tension leads to pain' cycle so a good attitude about *embracing* the pain rather than attempting to fight it can go a long way. I feel that in my four birth experiences I did a very good job at accepting the pain as a normal part of birth and not fearing it. I can't say I was chipper, but I think that my attitude (while very serious, in a deep concentrating sort of way) certainly helped me have a better experience. It always was quite painful for me, but I've had worse pain (and a rotten - and well-deserved - attitude to go with it ).

[thefragile7393]

I have to agree with PP's....it can definitely help. Fear and/or anger or stress can hinder delivery and labor. I agree with the above mentioned books too, there's a lot of coping strategies out there, and a positive attitude can definitely help be one of them.

[Celticqueen]

Originally Posted by thefragile7393

I have to agree with PP's....it can definitely help. Fear and/or anger or stress can hinder delivery and labor. I agree with the above mentioned books too, there's a lot of coping strategies out there, and a positive attitude can definitely help be one of them.

Thank you!

-Caitrin

[library lady]

Originally Posted by Celticqueen

I know it can't take the pain "away"

That's why I asked can it "lessen" pain...

-Caitrin

I guess I wasn't too clear because I have so much help.

Having a good attitude definitely lessens the pain. You just have to make sure that nobody comes along and messes up that good attitude.

[Mosaic]

Yes, absolutely. And I personally had a challenging though pain-free birth (with back labor) because of a good attitude (and a healthy body, and an ideal environment, and lots of other things going my way).

[laohaire]

First, I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you're blaming your less-than-satisfactory birth experience on your attitude. But when you are left in the dark, when you are being pressured or ignored or whatever, it's not a healthy atmosphere for your attitude. A positive attitude requires the right conditions, and I certainly would not have had one in the conditions you described (for example, no-one telling you that you were in transition).

I sincerely believe it can be much better for you this time around:

- You have more knowledge about the birthing process and can understand that when the going gets tough, it's almost done
- You (hopefully) will feel more in control
- You may research and choose a better birthing environment than the first time

And, yes, attitude is some of it. I was never focused on getting rid of the pain, I was just in laborland.

Ah, laborland - I think this was probably the biggest key for me. I don't know if anything truly lessened the physcial pain, but certain things certainly increased my ability to cope. Going to laborland meant I was able to crawl into a sort of shell. I could snap out of it at any moment I chose, and sometimes I did, to talk to the midwife and such. But then I'd go back in and the pain would be kind of far away.

But I couldn't possibly go to laborland if I felt like I had to protect myself, such as in a hospital. Being at home I felt safe, I knew I didn't have to be "on my toes" or watch out for people trying to sneak in a episiotomy or an IV or whatever. So because I could trust my environment, I felt safe and free to go into myself.

I do think that women who go into birth with the attitude of "when can I get my epi already?" will decrease their ability to cope with the pain. They will be expecting external pain relief and will not at all try to acheive internal pain relief. They will focus on the pain. They will be anxious and/or angry if there is any delay or problems with pain relief. It doesn't sound like that was the case for you, though.

[barefootpoetry]

Yes, it can definitely help! I'm not saying if you think duckies and rainbows that you'll have a pain-free labor (although it's happened to some people!), but there is legimitate truth to the fear-tension-pain cycle.

In my case, with my first birth, which was in the hospital, I felt very little pain when I was left alone, allowed to move how I wanted, and the room was quiet and calm. As soon as people would march in, start plugging me into their machines, and making a fuss, I would instantly feel AWFUL, because it was so scary to me. But once they would leave to tend to another patient and I could go back to leaning my forehead on the wall and thrusting my hips, the fear evaporated along with the pain.

I also chalk it up a lot to being a first time mom. I had no idea what to expect, I was nervous and anxious to meet my baby, and my idea of a calm natural birth (in a hospital! hahaha! silly me) was quickly falling apart and being replaced by all these feelings that this was wrong, wrong, wrong. This time I am HBing and am really looking forward to getting to enjoy that calm, peaceful part of labor the ENTIRE time this time, since I won't be so terrified and there won't be people tellign me to do things I don't want to do.

In the end, thinking positive helps you to relax, and that makes your pain lessen. Tensing up makes it feel worse.

[Celticqueen]

Originally Posted by barefootpoetry

In the end, thinking positive helps you to relax, and that makes your pain lessen. Tensing up makes it feel worse.

This is exactly the key! This is what I wanted to articulate but couldn't.

The key in all this about attitude: It helps you relax and relaxing minimizes pain...

Very well put. Thank you

-Caitrin

[SamsMuffin]

I think it can definitely help lessen the pain. A wrong/bad attitude or fear of childbirth can cause your body to tense up. This can make contractions even more painful. All of your muscles are tensed, and are getting in the way of allowing your uterus to just do it's thing.

I think mentally it can make things worse too. It's like if you're running a marathon - saying things like "This is so dumb, why am I doing this?" "Why can't I just quit now?" is not going to help you in any way.

With my first birth, I was in labor for 50 hours. It didn't get terribly painful until I got stuck at 9 cm with a lip on the cervix for the last 8 hours. Before that though, it wasn't all too bad. I focused on taking the contractions as they came, and being thankful for them. I focused on being thankful that my body knew what it needed to do and being thankful that this hard work and uncomfortableness was bringing my baby out. I also focused on relaxing all of my other muscles during a contraction and allowing my uterus to do it's thing.

I repeated to myself things like - "My body is made to do this." "This is not bad pain, this is pain with a purpose." "It's supposed to feel this way, it means things are working right." "My uterus is just a muscle contracting, this is not a scary pain." And I thought a lot about allowing my body to open up and accepting and embracing the contractions as a positive thing.

ETA: I just re-read your OP and saw that you were on pitocin. I've heard that can really make contractions terribly nasty. I just finished Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, and she mentioned in there that a pitocin induced labor can be much more difficult to get through than a natural one. The contractions are harder and more painful. Like someone else mentioned, don't be so hard on yourself

[GooeyRN]

Attitude and fear make a huge difference. With my first I was very anxious since I didn't know what to expect. I was also augmented with evil Pitocin. My second and natural labor was not even 1/10th as painful as those Pitocin contractions. It was like severe menstrual cramps, then a bit worse during transition but still nowhere near those EVIL Pitocin contractions. Yes, it still hurt (doesn't it for everyone?) but really not something I couldn't tolerate. Of course pushing hurt but I was expecting that. If you can avoid the Pitocin this time it will be doable for you. Being relaxed really helps. I checked into L&D last minute to avoid the Pitocin and anxiety. It was really a positive experience the second time.

[clavicula]

Yes. For somebody-see above- it is all about the circumstances. That can help a lot. For myself, I think, it is rather about humbling myself before this huge power inside my body.

[Luv2Skydive]

Pitocin is brutal!!! I had it both labors with no epidural and I could not cope with it. I was SOOOOO tense (just quietly held on to the bedrail for dear life!) that I really truly believe it stalled me much longer than necessary. I stayed at a 4 forever....according to the staff, but sometimes I wonder if they just said that because they didn't want to call the epi guy in from home because I had to be a 5 for that. Finally, I just let go and gave in to the pain and was pushing within 30 minutes and my big boy was out in 5 pushes. I think just staying away from the Pitocin will change your labor in a positive way, and I definitely believe your attitude toward the *pain* can affect your progress as well.

[Kidzaplenty]

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[barefootpoetry]

Originally Posted by Luv2Skydive

Pitocin is brutal!!!

I'll second that! That stuff is EVIL! Like the worst menstrual cramps of your life that just WON'T END. I'm amazed that women can still have natural births when they've had Pit. I couldn't stand it!