The Crib Talk

[smeisnotapirate]

My mother informed me yesterday that we need a crib and they'd be willing to help us pay for it. I informed her that we were in a one bedroom house and had NO room for a crib, so we'd be finding another solution, like keeping the baby in bed with us. Besides, I'm planning on breastfeeding and I'm not crawling in and out of our HUGE bed all night.

So get this. She informed me that "even breastfed babies sleep through the night by 6 months, maximum."

I couldn't help but laugh. I think she was offended.

[fresh_water]

I would have laughed too. We did end up getting a very nice convertible crib for DS at one of our showers. But it doesn't in any way fit in our bed room, and he won't sleep in his room. Sooo...the crib is full of his clothes. LOL. I would definitely remind her that you do NOT have the space for a full size crib. Maybe she'd compromise and could buy you a pack n play? We have one of those too, it fits in our room, and it PACKS UP so we can move it.

[NatureMama3]

too funny!!

[thismama]

omg. My grandmother said almost exactly that before my first was born (picture Ukrainian accent): "[my name]. You NEED a crib. You are one hundred percent wrong."

Just shrug your shoulders, and say you will see... that's what I would do.

[green_momma2007]

I wish.....by six months my baby was formula fed, and even then he was not sleeping through the night. In fact, he did not sleep through the night until he was about 18 months or so, and then for like only a month. Now that he is sleeping in our bed he sleeps the entire night without so much as a peep.
My mom is always giving me really annoying advice too. Like, oh you shouldn't pick up this baby so much, if not he's gonna be fussy just like Jeremy was. Uh hello, I picked up Jeremy a lot because he was fussy, not the other way around.
Just because someone else's kid is an angel does not mean I am doing something wrong. I wonder why people can not figure out that babies are different, just like grown ups are.
The funny thing is, my mom is always giving me this advice, and she can never follow it herself. Like she could never let the baby cry without picking him up.
Still, I try not to get to hung up on what she says b/c I know that although she has a different perspective than me, she loves my son just as much. She does help put a lot, so I've learned to let most of her parenting advice slide off.

[lovingmommyhood]

"even" breastfed babies. Oh people and their advice. It never gets less annoying!!

[jaceycat24]

my mil knows we don't use a crib so this time around she is offering money on repairs she thinks this house needs. i told her i would really just appreciate the money instead. like she wants to buy us a new back door. theres nothing wrong with it except she doesn't like it. she also wants to build us a screened in porch. i hate them so i said you could buy me an awning. nothing to do with baby but since i am pregnant this is when she does this. just to annoy me.

[Michelle Renee]

My MIL HAD to buy as a crib - it was like some family tradition.

We had already bought a cosleeper-

We used the crib when she was too big for her cosleeper (7-8 months) We took the side down and mushed it up to our bed And then after that -about 18 months we moved her into a car bed.

Vi only slept in her crib during the day for naps -otherwise it just looked pretty. I got SO mad because if they were going to get a crib - I was ok with a cheapie from Target .....oh no. Solid oak from a specialty store.

For me it worked ok- pick your battles cos I had nursing issues and MIL went with me to every lactation appt and was my strongest supporter.


Good luck.

[Tizzy]

Could you suggest maybe a cradle instead?

Even though we already had a crib, my grandmother nicely passed on this beautiful antique cradle that fit perfectly beside our bed (and matches our bed actually!) which he slept in until he was 6+ months old. It was very handy having him *right* there for nighttime feedings and...well we were just too attached to make him sleep in a crib ALL The way across the hall!

So maybe that would be an option?

[PuppyFluffer]

YOu could tell her that's an awful expensive toy box....since that's what I hear most people who decide to co-sleep end up using it for!

[Molck]

Oh boy... We've avoided this one so far by lying/diverting and not having anyone to our house. "Do you have a crib/bouncer/swing?" etc. is always met with, "Yes, we have everything we need!"

We'll see how long that lasts once people make their way over here and see that our house looks exactly as it always has. I like your response, though-- laugh in their faces . Sleep through the night by 6 mos? I don't think I've slept through the night in 28 years.

[NatureMama3]

we have everything we need!

that's how we answer things.

of course by now the ILs know we cosleep. they're not happy about it, but they know arguing will get them nowhere. They have BIL/SIL to dole their advice out to now.

[LittleRockstar]

My mother insisted on buying us a crib when I had DD. We too have a small house with small rooms. We have no room for something as impractical as a crib, but we have plenty of room for a clothes dryer/laundry sorter. My mom is still annoyed that DD, now 4, has spent fewer than 20 minutes total in her overpriced crib. My mom does listen to me now when I say no thank you.

[seren]

HAHAHA, my breastfed baby didn't sleep through the night until she was TWO!

[7kiddosmom]

You could always talk her into one of those convertable cribs. The kind that changes into a toddler bed, then into the head board for a full sized bed.

I have a crib, in fact 2 of them. My 15 month old sleep in the one upstairs, and I have one in my room downstairs. My ds did not co-sleep well and everyone in bed ended up cranky and tired. Once we put him in his own bed he slept wonderfully and so did dh and I. Now my 4 children before him co slept until the next baby was born and then some, we didn't even have a crib. My older girls slept with us frequently as well. I am happy where ever the babies sleep as long as everyone is sleeping comfortably.

I knew that my ds still needed his own bed and I wanted a place for the baby to take naps and possible sleep in at night depending on her presonality. I also wanted a safe place to put her down if I needed to so that she wouldn't get trampled or smothered by my other little ones. So we bought a crib at a garage sale, then when we got to the next garage sale on our route found a pink bedding set.

Oh and BTW NONE of my EBF babies slept through the night until well after a year old.

[Tizzy]

I'm not sure what sleeping through the night has to do with using a crib
But DS slept through the night, I mean from 10pm - 5am when DH got up for work when he was 6 weeks old. And he definately didn't suffer in the weight gain department when he was gaining a pound a week!

[MarchWillow]

My four year old, who eats pure solids still doesn't sleep thru the night. He's on the bottom bunk, of a set of twin beds, and climbs out in the night, waddles into my room with his blankie and bear, clambors right over all the "baby gear" and pulls himself up into our bed. Luckily it's a Cal-King bed so dh, ds and I fit okay, even with me very pregnant. We didn't get a co-sleeper, but did get a pack n play that has a bassinet in it. I know he'll be in our bed anyway. And dh said the nights that our four year old "sneaks in" he will take the couch for a better nights sleep for us all. Sometimes I just love that man. I'm kinda hoping that the baby's fussing will make the four year old prefer to stay in his bed. Idk...never co slept with a family of four in the bed lol.

But, in short....we are bypassing a crib completely and I am so grateful that our IL's have no opinion or are more supportive. I think he'll just transfer straight to a twin with a rail this time. I am not buying all that "transition" crap this time. Minimal money, snuggly babies...sounds like a win/win to me!

Is there any way they can give you a twin bed with a rail instead? Or maybe a gift certificate? I know, family can be hard. If all else fails maybe you could convince them as someone else mentioned to buy one of those cribs that you can drop a side rail on and move closer to the bed, or one that converts to a toddler bed in the future and then into a headboard and footboard for a twin bed later. Or they have ones that do convert into nice toy boxes. ???

[smeisnotapirate]

Unfortunately the "we have everything we need" thing works on everyone but my mom.

Her argument is that once the baby outgrows our bassinette (which is currently and will probably always be a kitty bed), we'll need to keep him/her somewhere where we can get a good night's sleep and they can't get out and terrorize the house/fall down the stairs/etc.

I'm trying not to get into the CIO discussion with her except to tell her that nobody will be left to cry in our house. She's not a fan of CIO, but she's very adamant that babies have "milestones" and that they should reach them in a timely manner.

I try to smile and nod my head as much as possible. I think it's kinda cute, actually. When she comes up, I'm planning on letting her figure out where this crib is supposed to go in our 800 sqft house.

[blizzard_babe]

This is why I like having my parents (and ILs) thousands of miles away. Yes, it would be more convenient to have them close, but we can just live in our crazy Alaska world and no one's the wiser...

[NatureMama3]

how about "we have some ideas in mind and will cross that bridge when we come to it."?