thankyou so much for the helpful replies - there are good points to both sides. i am still in the process of making a decision and have asked for a job in the daycare instead as that will enable me to keep an eye on the kids the entire time. even though there will be minimal one on one contact as i must attend to other children, i at least have the priviledge of knowing they are ok and them knowing that mama is right there in the same room should they ever need me.
now, regarding the use of the word "just to raise your kids"... what can i say? i am genuinely sorry that some mamas were offended or felt belittled etc
but i can honestly say that i do not regret my choice of words and there are two reasons why.
first - i am a stay at home mother myself.
if i was out to insult all the mothers that "just" raise thier kids (and thereby assuming that the SAHM role is not much to consider), then i would be insulting MYSELF. why would i insult myself and downgrade the role that i play in my children's lives everyday? it seems not many have actually thought about that part of the equation.
secondly, lets consider the definition of raising. it is "helping someone grow up to be an accepted member of the community;"
and technically if another person is spending X amount of time with your child and helping them to flourish, then YES they are raising them for that X amount of time. what is so wrong with admitting that? does it make your job as mother or father less important or your role less influential on the childs life? NO. the only
thing it means is that your child has spent X amount of time under the care of someone else other than you - someone that you've entrusted to help your child flourish physically and mentally (i.e raising) and that's pretty much it.
when i am considering swapping 50% of MY time with the kids for a job whether it is out of necessity or not, then i am handing over 50% of time spent in RAISING them over to someone else... that is a fact that i cannot escape.
admitting that someone else has had a hand in raising your child does not belittle your role, is nothing to be ashamed of and is nothing to be offended by if someone should state the obvious. perhaps i am just much more relaxed and comfortable with my choices but i most certainly would not be offended by the wording i've used. i have no qualms in saying that "sarah" and "jane" *helped* to raise you during the day time while mummy and daddy worked hard to provide for the family financially. i just don't see the issue in using those words to describe part of my child's upbringing.
re the sperm donor comment.. my husband is home and awake from the hours of 6:30pm till 12am and he is not a sperm donor or providor of financial security only thanks. i laughed out aloud when i read that comment as at first it seemed quite silly. i'd have to say that his best role yet is being a providor of many hugs, laughs and tickles during the hours he is home.
oh, he is also a pretty good buttwasher too.
he helps me to raise the kids physically and emotionally when he is here at home (and that entails many different things).. and when he is not at home, he is *still* helping to raise them by providing for us financially. we also call him up at work and the girls chat to him.
i hope that through disclosing this info, that you can see that i do not think that raising kids is a black and white affair. the political correctness in here sometimes gets a little mad and i am a little annoyed that everything has to be dissected, delegated and justified before we can feel comfortable with our decisions as parents.
anyway, this response is not intended to add fuel to the endless SAHM/WOHM fire. i just wanted to offer a different perspective on the notion of "raising a child" and to also explain my choice of words as there was some question about the use of them.
please, if there are any more opinions/perspectives on what you would do in this scenario as a SAHM, do share your thoughts. thanks.