Originally Posted by mountainskymama
First of all, when I make decisions based on fear, I am not being present, and I am not in tune with my child or the situation at hand. I am now dealing with a hypothetical future situation that may or may not happen. Where is the joy in that? Where is the connection?
I haven't read this entire thread yet, but I'm LOVING this discussion. I have read only a little about CL before, but from what you momas have written, it really sounds like the path that I'm trying to tread with my life.
I really agree with the quote above - it really saddens me that so much parenting advice comes from this place of fear. "If you don't wean now, it will be harder later on..." or "if you let him do that, you will be in for trouble..." and on and on. Moma's are questioning their actions hundreds of times a day - thinking "If I do this, then it will become a bad habit" etc
And I really like the quote about "if you don't push them, there's nothing for them to push against". I had been (sometimes still am) struggling with the idea of "setting boundaries" with my toddler ds. It seems like the absolute "must do" for (good) parents of toddlers. But, quite honestly, when we are at home, I feel like there are hardly ever any boundaries to "set" - most often just compromises and creative solutions to be made. There are very few instances where ds' behaviour is "out of line" with what is acceptable. Sure, our place is messier than most people could stand, but, so what? If it gets to me, I clean it up a little. I have noticed a few times that ds has picked up something hard and pointy off the floor because he has stepped on it a few times and noticed how uncomfortable it is... isn't this more worthwhile than having an arbitrary rule about packing up all the time?
Anyway, what I really like (about CL) is enjoying the process of living and having everyone's needs met as best as possible. As for the end product - who knows? There really is no "end product" is there? There will only ever be future "present moments".
I'm off to read the rest of the thread, and check out that website. Many thanks for starting the discussion by the way!