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Originally Posted by mytwogirls
 I have learned quite a bit about myself and my baby girl over the past week. I have not given up on her going back to the breast, but am at peace with it and I love my little one and I am happy if I never breast feed her again for the gift she has given me. A chance to nourish her and bond in a way that cannot ever, ever be broken.
I have learned: The bond between a nursling and mama is so strong and that bond does not break, even though my little girl won't latch on. My baby still needs her mama to hold, cuddle, wipe away tears, laugh with, bath and tuck gently to sleep at night. She needs her mama in the middle of the night to make sure I am still there. She still smells of the same sweet baby as always. My girl still follows me around the house on my heels crawling and leaving a trail of drool on the hardwood floor. She still laughs when I do raspberries on her tummy. She still splashes in the tub with me every night. Although I have settled on giving her a bottle she still wraps her fingers around mine, twirls my hair, snuggles against my breast, and hums as she drinks her breast milk. She still drifts off the sleep in my arms and I am so thankful I can still hold her against me and cuddle her as I rock her in our "nursing" chair every night. She still throws her arms around me as I tuck her to bed. She is still MINE! Thank you mamas who have responded to this thread over the past week. You have really helped me more than you will know. I just hope I too can be of help to you should you ever need it. Thanks again! |
: ) And he smiled and said I was doing a great thing and I made the right decision. I have always been a person who doesn't need permission or someone to tell me it's ok to do something, but this is new territory for me. I just didn't want to look like a failure, like a mom who gave up too soon. I put up a good fight and I feel whipped by a 10 month old...haha. I think right now it is more about me than about her so it is ok.
) and it was shipped late. The only thing is he ordered the wrong size...way too big for me. I didn't have the heart to tell him I will have to send it back to get a smaller size. Oh well...he tried. He also wrote me a LONNNNGG letter inside the card he gave me telling me how proud he was I was trying to continue nursing. Quoted "You are the most amazing, stubbon-assed, intelligent workaholic stay at home mother in the world" I thought that was really funny! He went on to tell me how sorry he was I had such a crappy day Sunday. Ahhh...looks like I get to spare his life...(just kiddin'!)
I was hoping I could get more than that. I went over 12 hours without pumping (including overnight) and I really don't feel that full and only got 4 oz out. Wow, it is amazing how your supply just tanks in a few hours even without pumping. Guess I had a touchy supply. Of course I never knew that before because she was such a regular nurser. Oh well. I will finish up the frozen milk and go to whole milk. The frozen should last a couple days..maybe. I will be sad thawing out that LAST breast milk bag that is for sure. There is a part of me that is glad it is over....kinda like suffering, the suffering is almost over. I feel proud for the fact I kept trying and trying. I just gave in to her. I have still tried all the time to get her to nurse. I have not given that up. She is not making any progress in that dept. She just won't go near my nipple. I am still trying different techniques, but I think I will back off now that my supply is gone. Just wanted to let you all know and update you all. The time has arrived....
