Feeling nervous

[MarchWillow]

Anyone else kinda catching up with reality and the fact that it's May, and the fact that labor hurts? lol. I guess I'm having a little bit of anxiety. As the things to do list gets more and more done, and so many babies are arriving in our ddc...as the days get crossed off on the calender and the people around me begin to get excited...I feel nervous. Okay I'm a little bit afraid. There I said it. :

I guess I'm just looking for some words of encouragement...what do you tell yourselves when you have those thoughts cross your mind? I think I need to make myself a little list of the positives, because they are really hard to recall when a little bit of fear comes into the mix. I kinda get ...frozen. I don't want it to stand in the way of my homebirth, so, just looking for some support. Anyone wanna sit on the scaredy cat couch with me for a little bit?

[chirp]

whenever i think about labor hurting and how close it is, i also think about how wonderful its going to be to be with my little baby....
and that makes me feel better.

then i think about how my little baby won't be my baby forever and how many days in his life he is going to break my heart...
and that makes me feel not better

and then i think about how even though all those days that he breaks my heart, there will be some days where i am completely in love and he will warm my heart greater than even my beloved husband...
and that makes me feel better

and then i think about how life in general is just a series of happinesses and sadnesses and that for every bad and good and neutral there are lessons to be learned...
and that makes me happy...because it makes me feel like however i'm feeling there's purpose behind it.
and it also makes me sad because it means that bad experiences are necessary and all that crap my mom said about developing character is true, and dammit why can't things just be easy.

and ummm...that's all i have to say about that.
did any of that even make sense, LOL!

[adtake]

I am so with you....I'm wondering if between that and the fact that this is probably our last one that little girl is holding on and not coming.

I had a contraction earlier today and was like sh*! I have to go through that again!! All the ring of fire memories came back...

I.AM.READY! I will do it again! I CAN do it again! Come on baby..we are all ready! Ignore mommas fear of pain and sadness.


I'll be a little bit scared with you!

[goldfawn]

I made myself a stack of flashcards with positive things on them and instructions for myself if i am unable to think straight... I also re-read all the birthstories in Spiritual Midwifery, that always makes me feel better. Now that I am 4 days late I am just antsy and ready to welcome the "pain"! Bring it! I just wanna meet my new little baby.

[amyaebi]

I get scared too, especially since I had such an AWESOME labor with DS2 (only an hour of pain at the end), and I wonder if I'm going to be that lucky this time. Especially since I'm doing it at home this time with no access to drugs if I want them.

I just think about the amazing high that I felt after my son was born -- how I felt the most amazing rush of feelings that I had ever felt in my life. How that feeling lasted for weeks. When I think about that I get really excited.

Amy

[cj'smommy]

I'm scared too. I'll join you, but not on the pregnant woman eating couch!

C's birth was very traumatic for me, the aftermath was terrible to say the least. I do not want to go through that again!! H was born in a rushed c-section due to placenta previa/bleeding a week before he was scheduled. That hurt as well, but surprisingly not as bad as C's and not as traumatic.

This time I'm trying for a VBAC and I'm afraid of another bad vaginal birth, so I'm working very hard to focus on the positive and believing in my body. I know what went wrong the first time so I'm striving to not let that happen again. I also know that this birth will be different, and I can't forget that.

I've been reciting a lot of positive mantras and reading Hypnobabies. I'm not going into it thinking I won't have any pain, but more as it's a pain that serves a purpose that I can work through. I also think that not being afraid of the pain is huge.

Then we have the whole brain tumor issue with the baby....and I'm trying so hard to take it one step at a time and not let that interfere with my labor. I think this may be a stumbling block for me if I have one. Everyone has reassured me that a vaginal labor won't affect him, BUT there is still some tiny part of me that wonders. Even if I were having a c-section I would wonder if that was the best choice. I need to resolve that as well but that's going to be a hard one for me.

I don't think I was much help but thanks for the chance to share my fears too.

[adtake]

Amy!

[PerkyKP]

Count me in!! I also don't expect it to be painless, but here are a few thoughts that I hope will help me... picked up from a variety of sources.

- ROSE - relax, open, surrender, expand (I think the surrender concept will help me the most of these)

- A contraction is an interesting sensation that demands all of my attention.

- This contraction will be over soon, and I'll never have to feel that one again.

- Let your monkey do it. (get your mind out of the way of your body)

- Pregnancy and birth are natural, normal, healthy, and safe for me and my baby.

- And remember the goal! We get a baby out of this!

[snowbunny81]

I am scared, too. Really scared. To the point where I can't sleep sometimes and think about waking my husband up...and sometimes I do. ^_^ I like to read the stories in Ina May's book, and I have this site bookmarked...it is beautiful and is one of the reasons why I decided to not have a hospital birth: http://rachyllgyne.tripod.com/thebir...alt/index.html

I thought about making something with a lot of reassuring quotes to focus on while I am in labor, but I couldn't come up with any that are better than this one from Jane Eyre:

"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is weak and silly to say you cannot bear what it is your fate to be required to bear"

And that kinda reminds me that God will not have me go through something that I cannot do. Somehow, with enough faith and determination, I'll get through it.

I also had a kinda eye-opening thought last night. I realized that this pregnancy, by comparison to some others that I've read about, has been so easy, and I wondered why I expect labor to be so horrible. It sounds silly to think of a baby as being protective or compassionate, but maybe she is taking care of me so that I can take care of her.

[LaffNowCryLater]

I was getting scared, but I watched The Business of Being Born today and got all amped up and ready