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PG after TTC 12+ Months: Pilot Thread... - Page 2

post #21 of 109
I'm so glad I found this thread! Hi again ladies! I'm tentatively here...

DH and I have been trying since 9/06. I was charting CM for about 8 months, then I went out and bought a saliva microscope. That wasn't helping so I added OPK's to the mix. Then still nothing and so I finally went to see my doctor. She recommended I purchase the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor so I used that and had also started temping too. I went to the mandatory class before being seen for infertility and found out that my insurance plan did NOT cover anything!!

I think we concieved this cycle but I am so anxious and nervous! I had some light bleeding last night and been feeling crampy off and on today. I'd really like to stay here!!!
post #22 of 109
Thread Starter 
Hey!!! I have returned to the planet! This first trimester was a doozey! I started out with m/s like all day every day, followed by lots of fatigue. Then 3 weeks ago I had a serious rash that lasted like two weeks on my arms, legs, neck, and parts of my face. That has since stopped pretty much. Did I mention that the rash itched like crazy? I still have itchy moments but not nearly as much as I did a week ago. My skin looked like it has been tenderized! Yuck! Now I'm hungry all the time : and have crazy pregnancy acne on my face! Yay! (I'm being so sarcastic now.) On a brighter side, I'm starting to feel a lot better and have a lot less m/s. I think it's pretty much over now. I'm still tired here and there, but I go out for walks daily to get my blood pumping. I'm also starting to get a little bump down there. Well I have a little bump up top too from my organs shifting around (no one tells you about that!) so I have a very strange double bump sort of thing. I'm wearing my elastapants (aka preggo pants) now and have started wearing maternity tops too for comfort (my breasts are huge!!!).

Anyways, I wanted to thank those who have tried to keep this thread alive. Congratulations to kssinca! I hope you have a very sticky baby. As for the light bleeding, I had some too after DTD with DH in the beginning. I called my midwife and she recommended taking progesterone cream to help with the implantation. Just take it easy and know that a little light bleeding is normal since you are still so early and you haven't missed your period yet. I just wouldn't be out there running a triathalon or anything. All the best!!!
post #23 of 109
I posted my story about a month ago in the TTC folder. But I also put it on my blog...

http://lisaispreggers.blogspot.com/2...blog-post.html

I too did not believe the test at first. Even though I had a blood test to back it up too. I left the test out on the counter of our guest room for several days so I could keep going in there and looking at it. We weren't telling many people yet... but a friend came over to our house and I forgot about the test and that's how he found out. It was really funny.

And now I'm almost 28 weeks pregnant. I've had HG the whole time and definitely lots of moments (even just last night) where I'm like, "Why did I want this?" It's good to read the story again and remember. It's also good to read all of your stories too and remember how much people go through to get here because still puking at 28 weeks is NOT fun.
post #24 of 109
Thanks kemi!!!

I actually have a dr appointment today! I was so worried about the bleeding and cramping I called the advice nurse and they were able to set up an appointment for me today. I'm not bleeding anymore but I am still crampy. I feel a little bit silly because the bleeding is gone,

I feel bad because I have been avoiding talking my friends and family since Wednesday. I soooo WANT to tell them but because it's still early, I don't want to share either. I'm private IRL and only 1 person knows that DH and I have been trying for almost 2+ years. But I am also horrible at keeping happy secrets! I've already decided that if things are still ok by July 5th, then we'll tell my parents the next day since it's my dad's birthday.

I know there isn't much right now, just a bunch of cells forming but I have been searching the internet for every scrap of information I can find! And I've been trying to fiddle with the dates to see which way makes me "more pregnant". Silly, I know but I am so anxious and cautiously happy!!
post #25 of 109
Hi Everyone,

I am joining you here (I am tempted to add "for now," but I'm trying to push those thoughts aside)!

I took two pregnancy tests this morning...and two this afternoon. All "very" positive - no vagueness about it.

We'd been trying since last April, and were far from vigilant with birth control prior to that. Since December, I'd been nearly convinced this day would never come for me. And now...it has...and I don't know how to feel or what to do.

I have never been pregnant before and I don't feel pregnant *now*. I keep telling myself it's only because it's so early (and it is early - 15 DPO!), but I'm still so scared. I'm so scared this isn't real or that it will end. I did have the tiniest bit of pink on my TP this afternoon, so now of course I'm thinking "ah, chemical" and "it figures," but i've also been poking the heck out of my cervix in recent days, trying to figure out what's going on in there, so it could just be that. It is very high, which I suppose might be a good sign.

(And then I find myself trying to convince myself that it's ectopic, and the reason it took us so long to conceive was because I have partially obstructed tubes and the "baby" is now stuck there. And every little twinge left or right of center scares me and I read somewhere that ectopic pregnancies produce more HCG so now I am scared that the reason my HPTs were SO dark is because it's ectopic.)

I went and bought some pre-natals, even though I have regular vitamins and extra Bs here at home, and I only bought a very small bottle, since I don't want to have a big bottle leftover if this doesn't pan out (yes, I know I can take them even if I'm not pregnant, but it would just *remind* me of today, I'm sure).

I'm afraid to join a due date club or anything like that.

I want to be happy, but I'm mostly just very, very scared.
post #26 of 109
We tried for just over 6 years. For the first couple we were just "seeing what happens". Then I started getting more focussed on it but was convinced my weight & depression were the problem.

It took just over 5 years for me get up the gumption to see my doctor about my fertility - I was terrified I would just be told to go lose weight (which I was painfully aware of). When I showed her my chart (two years worth, off & on temperatures, notes on all sorts of details) she sent me for ultrasounds & full blood work up & we found I have pcos.

I started on metformin right away. Upped the dose 6 months later. At the same time I seemed to finally find an appropriate medication mix to keep my depression under control & managed to lose 70lbs through a whole lot of hard exercise.

January 2008 I start clomid. First month took. I personally believe the clomid was not so much the solution but that my body was on it's way to creating better cycles (the last couple had been better) & with the help of ultrasounds we knew exactly when I ovulated. DH & I spent most of last fall in different countries.

Taffinoodle - I took the depo shot as well when I was younger, along with numerous other bcp's. I personally feel that they really were a catalyst in my pcos. I've read that progesterone only is NOT recommended for pcos. At the very least it couldn't have helped.

It seems so unfair that not only do we suffer while trying we then cannot even enjoy our pregnancies 'cause we're so sure it's too good to be true. I have to admit I fully expected to have difficulties & the fact that it's been picture perfect (so far) it's just soooo strange to me.

On that topic, I had one friend tell me I couldn't complain (I was not enjoying morning sickness) 'cause I'd been wanting this for so long. What? So 'cause I waited for a long time to get pregnant I'm not allowed to not enjoy parts of my pregnancy? Nice.
post #27 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post
On that topic, I had one friend tell me I couldn't complain (I was not enjoying morning sickness) 'cause I'd been wanting this for so long. What? So 'cause I waited for a long time to get pregnant I'm not allowed to not enjoy parts of my pregnancy? Nice.
I had no friends telling me this, but I definitely felt that way. I've had HG and there are many days when I just feel overwhelmed by all the puking and never feeling very good. Its so weird to have wanted something so bad (a baby) and then when you have it you are really miserable but happy but scared all at the same time. Anyway, you are allowed to complain and so am I. Sometimes it is just really cathartic for me to scream out, "I can't do this anymore," even though I would never dream of doing anything to myself or this baby.
post #28 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by puffnstuff View Post
I'm afraid to join a due date club or anything like that.

I want to be happy, but I'm mostly just very, very scared.
Hello puffnstuff! I'm glad you're here! I totally understand the fear and nervousness. I got the results of my bloodwork on Monday and so far, still pregnant! I've been trying to live my life as I normally do but I'm afraid I've been dreaming this or just been mistaken. Right now, it really hurts to bring my right leg up to my chest or to even raise it so I can get into a car and my right lower back hurts. And my temperature is still above the coverline but it dropped a couple of degrees. I have an appointment on July 3rd but I am worried that it is still too soon to see anything.

I don't have any real symptoms. Well I felt very tired yesterday afternoon but then again, I was cleaning and took a walk in the sun and the sun always makes me tired. I did fall asleep "early" but that was 10:30pm. MY nipples aren't sensitive. The only thing I DO feel is fat and bloated and I don't think that's because I"m pregnant.

But at the same time that I feel anxious, I also feel like, what??? I"m pregnant?!? How'd that happen?!?! I'm not ready yet! My baby is very much wanted and very much loved but I still feel like, wait!! Let me get the house/body/finances/everything in better shape! sigh...
post #29 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by kssinca View Post
But at the same time that I feel anxious, I also feel like, what??? I"m pregnant?!? How'd that happen?!?! I'm not ready yet! My baby is very much wanted and very much loved but I still feel like, wait!! Let me get the house/body/finances/everything in better shape! sigh...
I feel this way, too. I also had been telling myself for months now that this *wasn't* ever going to happen, and apparently some of it sunk in. I worked very hard on "moving on" and not planning my life around the off chance that I might get pregnant, that I now feel a tiny bit frustrated as I actually HAD started to make plans around *not* getting pregnant and now I need to go back and change those. It's ridiculous because, as you said, this is something I want so strongly. I'm not complaining at all. It's just hard to change one's mindset so quickly.
post #30 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by puffnstuff View Post
I feel this way, too. I also had been telling myself for months now that this *wasn't* ever going to happen, and apparently some of it sunk in. I worked very hard on "moving on" and not planning my life around the off chance that I might get pregnant, that I now feel a tiny bit frustrated as I actually HAD started to make plans around *not* getting pregnant and now I need to go back and change those. It's ridiculous because, as you said, this is something I want so strongly. I'm not complaining at all. It's just hard to change one's mindset so quickly.
I totally get this. I had given away every scrap of clothing that was even the tiniest too big - some of which would have made really nice pregnancy wear. I had started getting into powerlifting & found it sooooo disappointing to back off on my workouts.

DH & I almost daily have to vocally remind ourselves we're having a baby - even though physically it's getting more & more obvious.
post #31 of 109
Lifeguard - I did the EXACT same thing! I got rid of ALL of my too-big clothes (I've recently lost 30 pounds and was also looking forward to losing another 15-20) and now I wish I'd kept a couple of pairs of pants (although, hopefully, my biggest ones wouldn't fit even a very pregnant me)!

I had started to make some plans to change programs in school (I'm a graduate student) this Fall or Winter, but if this baby-thing pans out (and I hope it does), I'll have to tell the new program I won't be coming until next Fall (which is fine with me). It's a mental adjustment, though, as I'd gotten used to seeing the next 5-10 years baby-less (I had been thinking by then we'd be able to afford fertility treatments or look into adoption) and now it's something looming much more closely! But then, I suppose people go through that all the time, surprise babies, getting a new job or losing a current one, and all sorts of other things you can hope for (or not), but when it comes down to it, things happen when they happen and we get used to them.

(But it's only been about a day and a half for me, and I'm still not even closed to used to it - and, of course, a tiny bit of me is afraid to get too attached or excited, but I am sending major vibes to that little blob of cells, urging it to get nice and snug and settled and to make itself comfortable and telling it it's majorly welcomed, even if I am a bit surprised by it).

I think, after the baby is born (that is a very strange thing for me to think about or say), I'll be better off than I would have been earlier - I know now how to get healthy, and I can take walks with a baby and so forth. And the new school path I had been planning on transferring to? One of the reasons I chose it was because the work is something I thought was much more compatible with having and raising children, and it will still be there when the time comes.

Okay. Pep-talk completed. Let's do this - go team!
post #32 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by puffnstuff View Post
I had started to make some plans to change programs in school (I'm a graduate student) this Fall or Winter, but if this baby-thing pans out (and I hope it does), I'll have to tell the new program I won't be coming until next Fall (which is fine with me). It's a mental adjustment, though, as I'd gotten used to seeing the next 5-10 years baby-less (I had been thinking by then we'd be able to afford fertility treatments or look into adoption) and now it's something looming much more closely! But then, I suppose people go through that all the time, surprise babies, getting a new job or losing a current one, and all sorts of other things you can hope for (or not), but when it comes down to it, things happen when they happen and we get used to them.
Me too! I had pretty much resigned myself to not being able to be a mom and us maybe adopting down the road. So I enrolled in this graduate program. Then I found out I was pregnant and then the HG started in and I dropped everything.

Sometimes I still wonder why that path for graduate school was even opened up to me. We dropped $2,100 on the first class alone. It's kind of funny... but I think of that line from the movie Mona Lisa Smile where Julia Roberts' character is talking to the husband of Julia Stiles' character about her acceptance to Yale and he's all, "Yeah thank you for all you did. It really meant a lot. She'll always have that." I always wanted to be a full time mom so I don't plan on going back, but it is kind of neat to know that I did get into George Washington University especially after going to the local university for my undergrad.
post #33 of 109
Lisa, I think it IS neat to know you got in and I wouldn't be surprised if someday, way down the road when your children are grown, you end up finding your way back to school in some way, or helping your kids and grandkids with the application process themselves!
post #34 of 109
Ok, I know I'm not that far along but I feel so fat!! I started entering in my food intake and any exercise into FitDay again and well... I"m not consuming more than I did before... so why do I feel so much fatter??? I've already gained 2 lbs since last Thursday and the only change I made to my diet was increasing how much psyllium I was taking; I was taking 1 tsp daily before, now it's 2 tsps.

I have an appointment on July 3rd to confirm how far along I am and I'm worried someone will say something about my weight (I'm already overweight). Then I start thinking, maybe I'm NOT pregnant and I'm just getting fatter now!!!
post #35 of 109
kssinca (hey, I'm in CA, too!) - I am worried about them saying something about my weight, too. I've recently lost weight, but they don't know that! (And it makes me even less in the mood for a lecture.)

I think there are lots of variables besides gaining "real" weight that can make the scale tell you you're 2 pounds heavier, like water retention or eating heavier foods (same calories, just actually *heavier* foods) or being constipated, and so forth. I'm sure you'll be fine at the appointment, and just tell them you're watching what you eat, eating healthily, and are aware of whatever else you need to be with regard to weight. There's nothing we can do now about how much we weighed when we got pregnant, you know? The doctor or whoever else must realize that now's the time to be looking forward!
post #36 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by kssinca View Post
Ok, I know I'm not that far along but I feel so fat!! I started entering in my food intake and any exercise into FitDay again and well... I"m not consuming more than I did before... so why do I feel so much fatter??? I've already gained 2 lbs since last Thursday and the only change I made to my diet was increasing how much psyllium I was taking; I was taking 1 tsp daily before, now it's 2 tsps.

I have an appointment on July 3rd to confirm how far along I am and I'm worried someone will say something about my weight (I'm already overweight). Then I start thinking, maybe I'm NOT pregnant and I'm just getting fatter now!!!
You are growing a baby!

My weight fluctuates up and down a couple pounds throughout the week. I wouldn't worry too much.

Sort of OT, but don't you wish FitDay had a pregnant setting or something so that when you look at the weight chart you don't feel so huge? I do! Right now when I log my stuff and my weight I'm in the "moderately overweight" category which I know I'm not overweight right now... I'm just carrying a baby!
post #37 of 109
I'm definitely struggling with the feeling fat thing too. I guess I had (unrealistically?) hoped that I would not gain so much 'cause I already had extra. But oh well.
post #38 of 109
Thanks for your feedback ladies!! I know I shouldn't but I am still weighing myself everyday and so far, hasn't gone up. (How much could my little bean need right now?!)

Lisa, totally wish FitDay had a pregnancy setting!!! I felt really akward entering my weight and putting in that I wanted to GAIN even more weight!

puffnstuff, I have an appt on July 3rd to confirm confirm confirm the pregnancy so am hoping no one says anything! I am almost thinking of bringing in my FitDay food logs just to show that I'm really not just stuffing my face with cookies and ice cream and fatty foods!

Other than the fat feeling...I"ve been feeling fine. How is everyone else doing?
post #39 of 109
Thanks for this thread!

DH and I have been trying to start a family for more than year and a half now. Getting pregnant has not been a problem, but we keep having miscarriages-- right now I am pregnant for the fourth time in 16 months. We had an m/c at 10 weeks in March 2007, one at 12 weeks last August, and one at 5.5 weeks last February. What is a little weird for me right now is that *this* pregnancy is happening at exactly the same time of year as the one last summer. I found out last year on June 15th; this year on June 13th. Last one was due Feb 26th, this one Feb 23rd. It's a bizzare kind of deja-vu. Something tells me that if I make it all the way to the date that I miscarried *last* year, I will be a complete mess that day.

I am hoping against hope that this one will go differently. I've been seeing an RE, who's done every test known to man on the DH and me. I started on progesterone supplements 3 days after ovulation this time (50 mg twice a day, vag. suppositories-- yay fun!). They checked my betas and progesterone at 16 and 18DPO; they were 164/ 19.8, and 336/ 20.1 respectively. So hCG was doubling at that point at least, and progesterone was holding steady at a respectable number.

Right now I'm kind of in limbo, because I don't really have any "symptoms" besides really sore breasts, and I think that's more from the prog. supplements than from the pregnancy, b/c it started too soon. I just really really want to throw up or something. I've got an appointment (still with the RE) for July 9th, I'll be 7 weeks then-- they'll probably do an ultrasound, all that. But I know that 7 weeks is too early to really ascertain anything; bad news will be bad, but good news at that point is still meaningless. When I was pregnant last summer, I had an ultrasound at 8 weeks that was just perfect-- good HB, everything. Still lost it a few weeks later. So I don't have much faith in those early tests, but I can't resist having it done, either.
post #40 of 109
Mara,

I hear you on hoping for some kind of nausea or throwing up or something else to prove to me that I am indeed pregnant and getting...more pregnant!
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