Making a home a sanctuary

[meesa143]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this or not. I want to make our home a place of relaxation, more like a sanctuary. I don't want to remodel my home or anything drastic like that, I just want some tips on little things I can do. I'm looking for something that will show me what colors and fabrics to use, the best way to arrange furniture, things like that. I've tried doing a google search and I didn't get what I wanted. I'm hoping someone here can help me. TIA!

[lillydilly]

Aaah, this is my favourite topic, Meesa, and what I strive for in our home too. It must be working, because DH and I almost sigh when we come in our front door, we love being in our home so much.
I got my inspiration, not from house and interior decoration sites, but rather from photos of Eastern and African temples, holiday resorts and health spas and retreats. Here's what I've learnt to do from them, for what it's worth:
No clutter.. just a few beautiful items in a room... think of Japanese tea rooms, and how uncluttered yet peaceful they are.
Nature colours and textures.. this just happens to be my taste. My sister loves velvets, pinks and plush and her home is lovely too. But I love the atmosphere created by bamboo, timber, soft greens, browns and blues, and woven slubby cotton. If I'm ever unsure I just look outside, because when did nature ever get it wrong when it comes to colour and texture? When it comes to texture and colour, I try to think "pebbles, water, bark, timber, leaves, sand, sea, mist, grass etc".

Music.. soft subtle wind chimes and having a music player accessible to fill the house with whatever sound uplifts you.
Light and shadow. I love the soothing effect of this, so I use timber slatted blinds, and a suncatcher to create atmosphere with shadows.. I saw a photo once of a Moroccan palace, and one room had nothing in it except bench seats and these wonderful bars of light falling into the room through a lattice window. It made me want to curl up there with a book and pillow.
I have several "nature relaxation' type dvds that I play in my computer. It's in a central place, so whenever I glance in that direction there are these wonderful pictures of waterfalls, or rivers or forests, and it gives me a good feeling.
As far as arranging furniture, I found that what looks best, is actually what works best, if that makes sense. Rather than trying to arrange it for looks, arrange it for functionality, and you'll find it actually looks best that way.
I spent hours one day trying to get my lounge room to look "balanced" and just right. My DIL came to visit, and we sat down to talk, and we simply put the chairs where we felt most comfortable talking to each other, and aha! they looked right there. In general though I find that things look more soothing to me when they are arranged symetrically. I didn't used to think like that...I used to put things on an angle, and thought I had to have 3 or 5, because 2 and 4 would be too rigid etc, But I found that odd numbers and angles might work for a vase of flowers or a bowl of fruit, but when it comes to chairs and tables and lamps etc, then sometimes ordered looks more soothing than higgledy piggledy?
Try looking up sites about Feng Shui or Zen living for inspiration and for ideas about simplicity and peaceful home atmosphere.

Candles and essential oil for aroma.

Every now and again, I go through my home and pretend I'm getting guests booking in to use it as a holiday retreat, and I imagine what I would like if I was a stranger coming to pay for a holiday here. That helps me see things in perspective much better, and how I can create the atmosphere I want.
Well, I could rave forever about this topic, but I've already gone on too long. I look forward to others ideas too on this, Meesa.
Cheers from Lily

[artparent]

sounds lovely lily!
i love apartment therapy for ideas. books in lots of libraries, worth going through the 'cure'.

x
x

x

[nathansmum]

I also find inspiration from Zen type decors and feng shui - less clutter, and what *is* around me are things that I love. I like the natural textures and colours along with the odd vibrant yet earthy reds/oranges in places without being too overwhelming.

[sacredmama]

I love my home and wanted to make it a place that I didn't want to leave.

-I'm big on natural, earthy tones.
-Lots of houseplants.
-Indoor water feature(s).
-Aromatherapy (we do sage, pine, and spruce)
-Try to reduce sharp corners, promote curves and circles for flow of energy
-We have sheep hides on all of our sitting areas (well not the kitchen chairs)
-Reduce clutter; free, open spaces promote relaxation.

[Crunchy*VT*Mom]

I've found that open spaces relax me, so reducing the amount of furniture we have in a room really helps.

Clean, clean, clean. It is much nicer to be in a clean place.

Ditto what the other posters said about natural colors. Beige, white, cream = soothing

Water flowing sounds so relaxing. I love fountains...but only one, not competing fountains.

House plants.

And this is something a little strange that I didn't expect -- we had beautiful art all around our living room that I truly loved. We took it down to paint the walls six months ago...and haven't put it back up. Somehow the bare walls have been really soothing to me. Our artwork was brightly colored and...now I'm realizing...perhaps a bit violent. I like the placidity of smooth clean spaces.

A visitor might find our home boring, but I really like the neutrality.

[sunanthem]

I second the feng shui idea. I recommend Steve Kodad's book; http://www.thefengshuicure.com/ even though its geared towards realtors, he knows his stuff and explains it well.

Also, aside from others pesonal tastes, look to your own tastes of what relaxes you and makes you comfortable. It may not be typical or the same as what others think. But this is your sanctuary so choose pieces and colors that you are drawn to.

[netgyks]

Originally Posted by Crunchy*VT*Mom

And this is something a little strange that I didn't expect -- we had beautiful art all around our living room that I truly loved. We took it down to paint the walls six months ago...and haven't put it back up. Somehow the bare walls have been really soothing to me. Our artwork was brightly colored and...now I'm realizing...perhaps a bit violent. I like the placidity of smooth clean spaces.

Interesting. I think our artwork is too harsh for our living room. Very interesting. I'm going to try to reduce the number of pictures on this one wall (6 small and 2 large ones) and see if I can achieve the same results.

[jennlyn]

I enjoyed reading The Wabi-Sabi house. It isn't a decorating book , more about having a peaceful home. In my home I prefer less rather than more. I love mostly bare walls ( to the chagrin of my mother who thinks I just can't be bothered putting stuff up.) I used to love the simplicity of Shaker style, but I'm now attracted to more of an eastern style with natural colors and textures. Keeping things clean and streamlined - you might look at www.zenhabits.net for more inspiration on keeping house when you have children.

[aweynsayl]

ahh, my favorite topic as well!

some things i've discovored that really help me feel at peace, and like my home is distinctly MINE.

~anything i can make, i do... the curtains in our bathroom are very clearly hand stitched by someone who didnt need them to be perfect. they delight me each and every day.

~on the walls, i do adore bare space, i agree. i also adore family photos. but what i've found i LOVE is to have a large frame with an assortment of images. my favorite now has some photos of ds--one of my cousin holding ds after he was born, some more recent ones... photos of my flowers, a wine label from our wedding, a watercolor by ds... they all are the same color tones, lots of peaches and greens, so they look like they "go" together. i simply adore it! and it feels more creative and more me than something more traditionally framed.

~my biggest thing, though, is having flowers i grew. makes to me the biggest difference. :

[sunanthem]

Well, I do like some areas decluttered, but I find I do have little altars around the house w/ seashells, crystals, photos and special things that I like. They just kind of natural occur. My friends seem to think they are delightful.

I also like a little whimsy, like a swing or hammock chair inside, mobiles, and living things like Beta fish and plants. And yes, homegrown flowers and homemade decorations make my place special.

[andiamomama]

subscribing to this thread. . . what beautiful ideas, all! thank you!

[nathansmum]

I've just gotta come back to this thread. I just had a book arrive today called Cottage Witchery (the title is a giveaway that it's wiccan inspired - which I'm not as such, but am enjoying reading it) which has some lovely ideas for enhancing the home, making it a sacred place. I've already got some neat ideas with just what's available such as inside pot plants, having flowering plants outside your front door, having seasonal altars set up using natural materials (pine cones, leaves, stones etc), herbs growing inside and out. The main idea (which I seem to use anyway) is to just enhance your style with the things that you love and use colours that you love.

[meesa143]

Thank you for all your ideas! I really want to get some crystals and put more earthy things in my house. The curtains in my lr are striped and they are starting to really bother me. They're too "harsh" looking. My house is full of family photos and things we have made. I love that. I want to frame some of dd's artwork too.

[Woodland]

my first step to babyproofing was major decluttering. i dont know why i didnt notice all the clutter before i had the babe. It has made my home so much more enjoyable to live in. now it is simple and when i add something to make it more of a sanctuary you can really notice, before it was just more stuff!

[tracyhos]

Originally Posted by Woodland

my first step to babyproofing was major decluttering.

This is me exactly. We had sooo much more clutter pre-kids.

[SAHDS]

Fresh flowers and tons of house plants!

I also like wooden furniture (oaks, pines and maples), thick rugs, candles, pictures and throw blankets. I feel best when I'm immersed in my family.

Hand-made items - quilts, pillows, etc. Texture is big with me. I'll take oak, rattan, wool and leather to sleek metals any day (my kitchen is granite, sainless steel, cherry cabinets, etc. which is gorgeous but NOT homey/cozy. *sigh*).

I also like BIG windows so I fore-go heavy draperies and opt for minimal and light coverings.

Fireplaces are great - we have 2 and we love them!

And, of course, clean, clean, clean. I cannot feel good in a messy house no matter how well it is decorated.

Also, decluttering (items on countertops - YIKES). Even with pictures. I prefer a few large items versus a bunch of small ones - seems clutterd and crazy to me.

[griffin2004]

what a great thread chock full of awesome ideas!

I think ease of traffic flow is important so you don't feel boxed in or dead-ended. For example, end tables for the couch rather than a coffee table in front of it.

Open windows for LOTS of light I love.
Calming wall color and use your punches of accent color for a chair or pillow or area rug.
Floor or table lamps rather than overhead lighting.
Furniture proportioned for the room and not too much of it.
Framed mirrors of various sizes.

[sunnysandiegan]

Wonderful ideas!!!

I'm a little late to the party, so I'll chime in with some ideas I have not seen mentioned already.

I've taken a color therapy workshop (all day) and have read up on it a lot. The best advice I got and practiced and LOVE is to use cool colors (in whatever intensity you prefer) in the sleeping and calm rooms and to use the warm colors (in whatever intensity you prefer) in the active rooms. This has been AMAZING in our house and we LOVE IT!

Through most of our house (every room without a door) is a light neutral color paint called Innocence. It is a warm-tone, although very pale. It is a lovely color that is subtly soothing, yet energizing. Hard to explain, but is a big hit. It keeps the energy flowing without whipping anyone up into a frenzy. LOL

In our master bedroom, we chose a blue-violet. Combined with a LOT of natural light, this room is one of my favorites! (I am in here now. )

In our office, we chose a red-violet. It is a family office where each of us has a desk and we have all been much more productive since we got rid of the Swiss Coffee walls and hunter green accents with some black accents. While those colors looked nice, the room was a bit too sterile and it wasn't particularly energizing. Now the room is both fun and warm.

Our DD's room looks like a spring day. Her room was always everyone's favorite before the changes, too. We just adjusted the green on the bottom portion of her walls and added a pale sky blue to the upper portion. (The upper portion had been a bright white before with several large colorful art pieces by Suzy Spafford that had a nice mix of warms and cools.) We haven't finished her room, yet, and it is still a favorite...just the colors on the walls and her yellow (not bright) furniture is heart-warming.

Enjoy!!!

[loriedna]

This is a great thread indeed. I am also working on making our home more serene. One thing that I am really happy with is the bedroom now. Our master bedroom, although the best room in the house (many windows and a balcony) was in my opinion too big and useless. What's the use of such a big room if you do nothing else there but sleep? I wanted initially to turn it into my DD's room, because she plays there, not only sleep. But the balcony is scary. So I have come up with the idea to make it a bedroom/meditation room. I have moved the bed from the center of the room to a cozy corner. I put down a large bamboo mat on the clear part of the room (which is right in front of the big balcony glass-doors). On the bamboo we have the meditation zafu and zabuton cushions. I put up on the side wall a meditation gong and under it on the floor a beautiful plant. Nowadays I am working on the altar which needs to include all the Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, pagan beliefs that our family shares.
Anyway, too many details, but the room has changed completely. it suddenly makes sense and it has become a favorite place for all of us. Even DD sometimes goes in there by herself and plays around for half an hour happily without asking for our attention. It has been an wonderful change.
For books, I also wanted to recommend "Home Enlightenment" by Annie B. Bond. I cherish this book. I am going to find and read the others recommended on this thread. They sound good.