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Is there a pregnant over 40 thread? - Page 3

post #41 of 328
5/17/08 at 8:56pm
hi everyone. i am doing the NT and bloodwork (ultrascreen) this wednesday at 12.5 wks. with my first 2 kids i did the NT only without bloodwork and my son i lost at 20 wks i did the NT and bloodwork (which was nl and so were his chromosomes at autopsy). that being said i don't know what i will do if result is abnormal. i wouldn't want to terminate a pg but i am seriously worried about handling a special needs child on top of my other 2 who already run circles around me! i guess if it's abnormal i will proceed with amnio and think about what to do if anything while waiting for results.

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post #42 of 328
5/18/08 at 11:30pm
Thread Starter 
I have those worries too Angela...we are more likely to have kids with chromosome abnormalities and at the same time being older maybe have more worries about it...I think about the fact that I'm not all that likely to be around for another 60 years to take care of a developmentally disabled adult. My loss made me pretty reluctant to ever terminate a pregnancy though...hard choices. I'm also trying as much as possible to not overthink these things and cross bridges when I come to them. Its easy to imagine what you would do or feel, but you never really know anyway until you are in the situation.
post #43 of 328
5/19/08 at 6:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by avivaelona View Post
I have those worries too Angela...we are more likely to have kids with chromosome abnormalities and at the same time being older maybe have more worries about it...I think about the fact that I'm not all that likely to be around for another 60 years to take care of a developmentally disabled adult. My loss made me pretty reluctant to ever terminate a pregnancy though...hard choices. I'm also trying as much as possible to not overthink these things and cross bridges when I come to them. Its easy to imagine what you would do or feel, but you never really know anyway until you are in the situation.

You said something very interesting. Your loss made you reluctant to ever terminate. That is EXACTLY how i feel. Ive had 2 losses and I know in my heart I could never terminate for any reason.

Wish me luck I have my big u/s today
post #44 of 328
5/19/08 at 3:22pm
Thread Starter 
thinking of you Jeana.
post #45 of 328
5/19/08 at 3:49pm
BOY #4 all looks great
post #46 of 328
5/19/08 at 4:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBaxter View Post
BOY #4 all looks great
Congrats!
post #47 of 328
5/19/08 at 9:20pm
Thread Starter 
Yay!
post #48 of 328
5/20/08 at 3:48pm

congrats Jeana!

Jeana and Aviva I felt very strongly about not terminating also before my daughter. we struggled for 3 yrs and 2 ivfs to have her. i didn't want even an amnio bc of risk of miscarriage.
i still feel that way but i also don't know how my marriage would stand up under the strain of a special needs child... it is somewhat shaky now. so i don't know.
i do know there are no guarantees in life no matter what - losing James really brought that home. all those tests didn't end up meaning squat.
right now i am going with the nt - if it looks ok than i will be reassured while knowing there is still a chance - just like there was a chance i could lose James - that something could still be wrong and just go with that. wish me luck for tomorrow for the nt!
post #49 of 328
5/20/08 at 3:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by angela40 View Post
Jeana and Aviva I felt very strongly about not terminating also before my daughter. we struggled for 3 yrs and 2 ivfs to have her. i didn't want even an amnio bc of risk of miscarriage.
i still feel that way but i also don't know how my marriage would stand up under the strain of a special needs child... it is somewhat shaky now. so i don't know.
i do know there are no guarantees in life no matter what - losing James really brought that home. all those tests didn't end up meaning squat.
right now i am going with the nt - if it looks ok than i will be reassured while knowing there is still a chance - just like there was a chance i could lose James - that something could still be wrong and just go with that. wish me luck for tomorrow for the nt!
A little fairy dust for luck !
My NT test really put my mind at ease I went from a 1 in50 of genetic problem to a 2% I hope you get the same results

How many weeks are you?
post #50 of 328
5/20/08 at 4:39pm
Nah, you're not the only one. As you can see! I may actually be the oldest, at 48. This is pregnancy #2, the first one I was 41.
post #51 of 328
5/20/08 at 5:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by angela40
right now i am going with the nt - if it looks ok than i will be reassured while knowing there is still a chance - just like there was a chance i could lose James - that something could still be wrong and just go with that. wish me luck for tomorrow for the nt!


Good luck tomorrow! I'm so sorry for your loss. That must have been horrible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jbaxter
My NT test really put my mind at ease I went from a 1 in50 of genetic problem to a 2%
Oops, hate to burst your bubble... but 1 in 50 is 2%--they're just different ways of expressing the same thing. You and I must be the same age, since that was about my chance, too.
post #52 of 328
5/20/08 at 5:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jempd View Post
Nah, you're not the only one. As you can see! I may actually be the oldest, at 48. This is pregnancy #2, the first one I was 41.
48! Wow. My grandmother had the last of her 9 at 48. Have other women in your family had late pregnancies? I'm curious if it runs in families.
post #53 of 328
5/20/08 at 11:55pm
Thread Starter 
Welcome and congrats Jempd. Thinking of you tomorrow Angela.

Does anyone else have parents that were very YOUNG when they had you? I sometimes completely get vertigo thinking about "when my mom was my age I was...(going off to college)"
post #54 of 328
5/21/08 at 6:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by avivaelona View Post
Welcome and congrats Jempd. Thinking of you tomorrow Angela.

Does anyone else have parents that were very YOUNG when they had you? I sometimes completely get vertigo thinking about "when my mom was my age I was...(going off to college)"
my mom was 18 when I was born her and my dad snuck off and got married in high school and I was born a 13 months later. My grandmother was 35 when I was born and when she was my age 41 - she had 5 grand children!
I have a cousin who is 6 months older than I am that is already a grandfather. LOL Im to YOUNG to be a grandmother
post #55 of 328
5/21/08 at 12:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by irony_optional View Post
48! Wow. My grandmother had the last of her 9 at 48. Have other women in your family had late pregnancies? I'm curious if it runs in families.

Yes, as a matter of fact. Anyway, my mother had me at 40 and my sister at 44. However I was #3. Also people on both my mother's and father's sides are unusually long lived. I have a great aunt who lived to be 104 and only one of my grandparents died before 90s (87). I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I should add that I got pregnant with donor ovum. However, this morning the OB/GYN put AMA (advanced maternal age) on the pescription for the 1st trimester screening appointment. I hope that this thread is about being pregnant in your 40s in the general sense and not solely being pregnant with 40s eggs so that I'm not butting in. If so, someone let me know and I will butt out.

I was just thinking today (in the OB/GYN's office answering a lot of questions) what an odd mix it is; on the one hand my body is in its late 40s--so, all the attendent issues are there: greater fatigue, higher risk for various problems--but on the other hand, got a young egg? You get to pass Go and collect $100 that is, no CVS, no amnio thank you, etc. But you know, I know a lot of women who had their baby or babies in their 40s. My friend had #1 at age 42 and #2 at age 44.
post #56 of 328
5/21/08 at 12:44pm
Hi all! just found this thread! I'll be 40 in August, this is baby #8 for me but baby #1 for my DP. My other 7 are from a previous marriage. I thought I was done with babies but someone had other plans. Mine are 16 g, 14b, 12b, almost 11g, 9b, 8g in July, and just turned 6 g. So it's been awhile since I've done the baby thing, starting over but so looking forward to it now.
post #57 of 328
5/21/08 at 1:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jempd View Post
Yes, as a matter of fact. Anyway, my mother had me at 40 and my sister at 44. However I was #3. Also people on both my mother's and father's sides are unusually long lived. ...
Same in my family. I have an aunt who, at 90, still mows her own lawn. My grandparents lived into their mid-90s, and so on. The two may be related.

But I don't think this thread cares where your egg came from. I know that we have higher odds of problems because of our age, but I can't say that has been the case for me. I had fatigue in the first tri, and now that I'm near the end, I'm tired, my feet are puffy, and so on, but when I read pregnancy boards, I seem to be doing as well or better than women twenty years younger. I still work out (lightly) on the elliptical, I'm still working at my job (until 38 weeks, anyway), and so on. Maybe being older we're just more used to handling discomfort without turning it into drama, huh?
post #58 of 328
5/21/08 at 3:57pm
irony_optional: all right! (referring to your aunt)

When I was pg with #1 having just turned 41, my doctor said something along the lines of I'd say a 41-year-old having eaten well, exercised, not smoked most of her life is in better shape for pregnancy than a 26-year-old who is in poor shape, eats poorly etc., which made me feel better. I feel in good physical shape, as before I got pregnant I had been doing Bikram yoga twice a week and running on weekends. At 41 my pregnancy went very well. I am noticeably more tired in the first trimester this time around, but then I have a seven year old.
post #59 of 328
5/21/08 at 4:59pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
I hope that this thread is about being pregnant in your 40s in the general sense and not solely being pregnant with 40s eggs
Oh of course not, obviously we will have some conversations about the eggies and spermies maybe not being so young themselves but there is so much more to it.

To me the main reason I wanted a thread like this is just for the support about the social issues of being an older pregnant mom. While our society has definitely loosened up on this a lot, its still kind of presumed that if you are pregnant you are a "young" woman and that 40 or more is not young.
post #60 of 328
5/21/08 at 5:46pm
The maternity clothes are often aimed at a much younger audience, I can tell you that!
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › Is there a pregnant over 40 thread?