Problems at Wal-Mart/Oklahoma

[SheepNumber97245]

I am visiting my mother in Oklahoma City and was at the Wal-Mart on NW Expressway shopping in the baby section. There's a little bench right on the isle entering into that section so whenever my son is hungry i sit there to nurse him. Once i had a mother come up to me with her newborn and said, "I have NEVER seen a baby that big breastfeeding." He was 5 months old at the time. Sure he is a very big boy for his age but still... how is that any of her business. Every time i go there i get weird looks and frowns from passers-by. But the other day was the worst. I was feeding him on the bench, wearing a breastfeeding shirt. I never use a blanket or anything to cover myself because he doesn't like his face covered. He won't eat with something touching his face. I saw a woman walk by and scowl at me. Then a couple seconds later she walked back from where she came and scowled at me again. Then a Wal-mart employee (ALSO a woman) came around the corner yelling "EXCUSE ME, you can't do that here! You can't do that. It's indecent exposer." I whipped out my little card that states the law in Oklahoma that women have the right to breastfeed anywhere they have the right to be and said, "Well... yes i can actually." And she didn't seem to care much. "Well you can go get a blanket but that's indecent exposure. You could be arrested for that." I was so pissed i just left.

I'm constantly surprised at the lack of breastfeeding mothers in this state. In California i've never had a problem feeding my baby in public. I go to the same Borders (MANY times without buying anything) only to feed my baby because they have nice chairs and the employees just walk by and greet me. But here I have actually never met another mother yet that breastfeeds. It's making my PPD worse having to defend my self all the time. :

[acannon]

Wow! That's got to be tough! I haven't had any negative comments yet, so I don't know what it's like to get one or have any suggestions of what I did, but it was a good idea to carry around the card. You sound like you're pretty prepared to handle the comments. Just keep in mind that you're doing the best thing for your baby and when people stare at you or make comments, just tell them to buzz off and that it's none of their business what you're doing. I would've said to that lady who kept walking by you, "Don't you have better things to do than watch me feed my child?" Just try to communicate to them that what you're doing is completely normal (which it is) and that they're the ones with the problem, not you. If they keep bugging you, just ignore them or move or tell them to go away. No one needs to be treated like that. It really sucks that you're not getting any support. Hopefully there are some MDC mamas in Oklahoma.

[newclementine]

walmart has really bad business practices anyway, so it's probably better they don't get your business
people can be so rude, if this were a story about nursing a 3 yr old then I would be less surprised that people were surprised (not rude through, there's no excuse for that!) - but a 5 mo old - please!
can you make a complaint against the company? the more we stand up for ourselves the better

[snazzy_mom]

I would make a stink about it, at least to the manager. I would definitely inform him that you feel harrassed, especially when you're not in the wrong.

I would also file a harrassment complaint against the employee. You weren't breaking the law and no one should be made to feel that feeding their baby is indecent exposure.

[Magali]

Feeding children is NOT indecent exposure! How rude. I'm sorry you had to hear that.

[rmzbm]

Good grief, I'd be tempted to remove my whole shirt if someone said that to me...

[krystyn33]

A good reason among many to boycott Wal Mart!

[homewithtwinsmama]

Borders has a pro bfing policy in their employee training manual! It supports bfing customers and employees!

I'm constantly surprised at the lack of breastfeeding mothers in this state. In California i've never had a problem feeding my baby in public. I go to the same Borders (MANY times without buying anything) only to feed my baby because they have nice chairs and the employees just walk by and greet me. But here I have actually never met another mother yet that breastfeeds. It's making my PPD worse having to defend my self all the time. :[/QUOTE]

[SheepNumber97245]

thanks, everyone. I'm feeling really alone here so thanks for all the support. <3

[Emmeline II]

I might speak to the manager about it and demand an apology from the employee. If they were not appropriately apologetic I would write letters to corporate, then pursue the enforcement provision if the law had one.

[kriket]

reason number.... a lot, why I hate, and don't go near wal-mart.

[pumpkinyum]

Originally Posted by Emmeline II

I might speak to the manager about it and demand an apology from the employee. If they were not appropriately apologetic I would write letters to corporate, then pursue the enforcement provision if the law had one.

I agree. Threatening that you could be arrested??? No way. I'd fight that. Makes me so mad right now my fingers are wanting to type cuss words.

[beru]

I have a "regular bench" at my Walmart. No one has ever looked twice at me and that's not what I expected living in Iowa. I guess I shouldn't be so biased against my fellow Iowans. I think, in general, Iowans are very easy going. I think maybe the folks around me don't know I am nursing. Once I acccidently totally exposed myself and I did see one woman notice me but she was totally nonplussed.

[sharon71]

I've BF in a few wal-marts uncovered and never been harassed but rather the opposite smiles,good job,wtg,etc.

[Equuskia]

Walmart here has a nursing room in the fitting room for those moms that want some privacy. I used to pump there when working. I would definitely complain to a manager.

[justJen]

If you would, please take a minute to fill out the discrimination report form at www.firstright.org. If you'd like, a case manager can assist you in following up with Walmart management. But even if you don't want to pursue further action, legislators who only want to look at numbers may be swayed by a collection of data about incidents like this one. Ignorant fellow customers are obnoxious enough to deal with, but once a staff member chimes in, they're representing the company, and breaking the law to boot.

[newmama8824]

Welcome to my world.


I live in the OKC area. I get looks from people ALL.THE.TIME! We have great support to start out bf'ing (LC's, LLL & all that jazz) they are what helped me stick with it....I do not know one other mom who has bf'ed for more than 6 months, except my doula and midwife.

I'm so sorry you got treated like that. That is so awful, it really makes me angry. Makes me want to go over there and nurse my baby!

Ok is definitely not bf'ing friendly though, I get the stink eye every where I go. Really makes me uncomfortable NIP sometimes, like I am doing something wrong..... I still do it though. Huh..

[*MamaJen*]

File a complaint with Wal-Mart corporate management, write a letter to the local paper and news station, and depending on the laws in your state, report it to the local authorities.
If you chose to pursue it, it could become a very big deal.

[crazyeight]

(if you have a cell phone) *pulls out cell phone* "here go ahead...i am sure the police would love to question you about filing a false police report AND i would like to talk to them about filing a harrasement report anyways. Whats your name and employee ID?"

People love to threaten...call them on the bluff and the fact that they don't even KNOW they are wrong will maybe help your cause. I am not sure if I would have the composure to say or do this but darn it sounds great right?! GL to you!

[Teyu]

Originally Posted by dhinderliter

(if you have a cell phone) *pulls out cell phone* "here go ahead...i am sure the police would love to question you about filing a false police report AND i would like to talk to them about filing a harrasement report anyways. Whats your name and employee ID?"

People love to threaten...call them on the bluff and the fact that they don't even KNOW they are wrong will maybe help your cause. I am not sure if I would have the composure to say or do this but darn it sounds great right?! GL to you!

Good post! I like this idea. I haven't gotten any weird looks yet except a lot of people seem to think they are walking in on something private and they will say "Oh excuse me!" This has only been with maintenance men in my home though so maybe they were just trying to be polite. I always assure them that no sorrys are necessary. Oh well.