Problems at Wal-Mart/Oklahoma - Page 2

[Mom2J]

I'm sorry you're experiencing that OP, but it sounds like you handled it really well. People can be so ridiculous.

[dewkiss75]

Feeling your pain in Oklahoma

I am so sorry you had that experience here in Oklahoma. Thankfully I have not had direct opposition like you did but I have had the stares and I really don't care because I know I am doing the best thing for my baby and me.
I live in Oklahoma City. I EBF my 7 month old DD2. I do feel I am in the minority but that has not put a damper on my plans to BF for a minimum of 1 year.

So what card is that you carry around? I have a feeling as DD gets older it will be more likely for someone to say something to me and I want to be ready and armed with a response. It is sad that people are so uptight about seeing and think they are seeing too much of a breast. I figure I will catch them off guard by saying this since I am in the "bible belt" - I am feeding my baby the way God intended and you should really get your mind out of the gutter.

I will say I am careful with how I breastfeed in public. I have the same problem with DD not wanting to have a blanket over her and now that the weather is starting to get warm I really don't want a blanket on us. I have found myself finding a part of the store that isn't quite as busy but that isn't always possible and when baby is hungry, baby is hungry.

[ramama]

The fact that the woman said "baby" and then questioned BFing just shows her ignorance. Why WOULDN'T a "baby" be BFing? We're talking about a baby here. You can get into the why not nurse a toddler later, but come on.

Walmart is really not going to care about your experience, unfortunately. You may get a quasi-sincere apology from someone who wasn't involved in the incident, but even that is pushing it. Walmart makes a ton of money on mainstream parenting practices (bottles, formula, cribs, pacifiers). Hopefully any action you take will free other BFing mothers from harassment and educate the employees and that is a very motivating reason to pursue the issue. But I don't think that Walmart will ever actually *care* about the issue as a BF issue. Perhaps as a PR issue...

[*MamaJen*]

Apparently they have a policy in place supporting NIP in their stores:
Here's one news report.

[jimblejamble]

I have to wonder about the "indecent exposure" line. Whenever I've seen any of my friends breastfeed without a blanket in public, very little skin was showing.

If anyone ever says that to me I'd like to ask them what their definition of "indecent" is. Gee, a mom feeding her baby, how indecent!

[nataliebassoon]

That makes me so sad that you feel the need to carry around your card!! I keep one in the diaper bag, but have never felt the need to use it! I think we should all go to Oklahoma and have a nurse-in at your Wal-Mart!!

[mommabird]

As far as indecent exposure goes, it really depends on the state.

As far as I know, there is no federal law saying that it is NOT indecent exposure (correct me if I'm wrong, and I hope that I am).

For example, in MO the law says that NIP must be done as discreetly as possible. To me this implies that a woman COULD be arrested for indecent exposure if the arresting pfficer feels she could have taken greater measures to be more discreet.

Personally I think there is no way it's indecent. In fact it's the decent thing to do for your child. You give them the best food and you feed them when they're hungry - you don't make them wait until it's more convenient.

I'm a "just whip it out" kind of girl and I'll NIP with my SNS if I have to (and I have).

[bvnms]

Originally Posted by nataliebassoon

That makes me so sad that you feel the need to carry around your card!! I keep one in the diaper bag, but have never felt the need to use it! I think we should all go to Oklahoma and have a nurse-in at your Wal-Mart!!

I would so do this after I have this LO. I've been known to walk around the store nursing the baby.

[dolcedaze]

Just to chime in from the other side, my daughter turns two this month, and we've lived in Oklahoma (in the Lawton area, not OKC) since she was four months old. I nurse her all over the place, including frequent trips up to Oklahoma City, and have yet to encounter any opposition, or even a dirty look. We're in a "mainstream" playgroup, but most of my mama friends there breastfeed, many into toddlerhood. I frequently see moms nursing at the mall, the library story time, etc.

With that said, I don't mean to discount your experience at all, as I would have been ticked too!

[forthebest]

That is so degrading mama What are these stupid people all about? I would file a complaint, absolutely. The more bfding is normalized the better, there are always gonna be people who are just not evolved, they are always gonna give the dirty looks. When they resort to threatening women for feeding their babes they need to be challenged and educated. Arrested!!! For feeding your baby!! You what?! Wish I'd been there, really not going to tolerate that. There is no excuse for this ignorance. While the card you carry is a good idea imo it is like the pp said really very sad that you need to do that. Our vulnerabilities as women are so often used against us, some days are worse than others, standing up for ourselves and our rights to parent our way can be so opposed by others it can be hard to tell em where to get off, it's like they are shaming us. Shame on them! I feel a lot of people are holding onto the control of women for dear life, they are not moving on with their lives, they continue to witch-hunt us for whatever they can. Breastfeeding? Bah! Outdated and vile. What they don't get is that their views are outdated and vile. We didn't get much hassle here in uk and if anybody took it upon themselves to insinuate I should not be feeding in public I have to say I used to enjoy meeting and holding eye contact with them, and I am not very assertive at best times. I just felt deep within my heart no-one has a right to do this, no-one and I would challenge them directly. It's hard on the spur of the moment and if I had experienced what you did mama I may have been in a vulnerable mood that day and sunk under the weight of their judgement and intolerance. My sincere apologies for the ignorance you experienced. And 5 months old! cmon are these people jealous or something, world gone mad.

[mommyof31012]

That happened to my friend today and she wrote corporate and she hired a lawyer.Walmart is soon going to be very aware of the laws cause she is going public with it on manday.

Originally Posted by SheepNumber97245

I am visiting my mother in Oklahoma City and was at the Wal-Mart on NW Expressway shopping in the baby section. There's a little bench right on the isle entering into that section so whenever my son is hungry i sit there to nurse him. Once i had a mother come up to me with her newborn and said, "I have NEVER seen a baby that big breastfeeding." He was 5 months old at the time. Sure he is a very big boy for his age but still... how is that any of her business. Every time i go there i get weird looks and frowns from passers-by. But the other day was the worst. I was feeding him on the bench, wearing a breastfeeding shirt. I never use a blanket or anything to cover myself because he doesn't like his face covered. He won't eat with something touching his face. I saw a woman walk by and scowl at me. Then a couple seconds later she walked back from where she came and scowled at me again. Then a Wal-mart employee (ALSO a woman) came around the corner yelling "EXCUSE ME, you can't do that here! You can't do that. It's indecent exposer." I whipped out my little card that states the law in Oklahoma that women have the right to breastfeed anywhere they have the right to be and said, "Well... yes i can actually." And she didn't seem to care much. "Well you can go get a blanket but that's indecent exposure. You could be arrested for that." I was so pissed i just left.

I'm constantly surprised at the lack of breastfeeding mothers in this state. In California i've never had a problem feeding my baby in public. I go to the same Borders (MANY times without buying anything) only to feed my baby because they have nice chairs and the employees just walk by and greet me. But here I have actually never met another mother yet that breastfeeds. It's making my PPD worse having to defend my self all the time. :

[Bayleesan]

I had a bad experince at a Walmart here in CT, before I was really aware of my rights as a breast feeding mom. I was walking into the bathroom, with my then 13 day old newborn, when the lady behind the layway counter told me I "COULD NOT!" breastfeed in there. I was suprised and aghast, because little known to her I had already breastfed in there earlier. By the time she acosted me I was going in to change a diaper, and thats what i told her. I was so suprised I didn;t know what to do! Later another mom advised me of the laws, so I called their 1.800 number and gave customer service an ear full, and her name. They said that it would get back to management, but who knows. I have been back a few times over the last year and half, and have bf'd without incident from anyone on staff.

If you haven't gotten traction any other way, try calling the 1.800 number. As well as fild a complaint with the state. I am sorry this happened to you!

[SheepNumber97245]

I just wanted to let you all know i did contact the store and complained. The manager apologized and said I was welcome to breastfeed there in the future. Which is nice, but i hope he informs his employees that.

Also, the card that i spoke of that i cary is a card the hospital gave me from La Leche League that states the law in Oklahoma. I'm pretty sure they make one for every state. The law in Oklahoma though, says "A woman has the right to breastfeed anywhere she has the right to be."

[Mommy2Haley]

Originally Posted by rmzbm

Good grief, I'd be tempted to remove my whole shirt if someone said that to me...

OMG! Glad to know I'm not the only one that would do that!!

To OP: that employee needs to learn some customer service. You have the RIGHT to feed your child wherever and she can't do a darn thing about it. I agree, make a stink to the manager. Did you catch the employee's name?

[TefferTWH]

So are you going back to NIP everyday during her shift? LOL - that's what I'd do, maybe even walk around nursing and following her, ask her to get stuff off the shelf and put it in your cart for you!

[SheepNumber97245]

Originally Posted by TefferTWH

So are you going back to NIP everyday during her shift? LOL - that's what I'd do, maybe even walk around nursing and following her, ask her to get stuff off the shelf and put it in your cart for you!

LOL I think i might do that.

[EarthsSpiral]

I live just north of OKC, I know the bench you speak of. I'll be sure to NIP there sometime.

[sunflowerkelli]

You should have a NI around mid September. I'm in KC, and we'll be on the road around then back to CA to pick up DH when he returns from Iraq.

We'd LOVE to stop in and have NI with you! I've always wanted to do one!

[thisiswhatwedo]

Well how about boycotting Wal-mart. They are pretty evil. Are there other stores you could get to ? You could let them know that on top of unfair labor practices, sexual discrimination of their female employees, slave labor in China locking employees in the store that work over night and running family owned business under and having a conservative agenda, not selling female contraception, forcing employees to work overtime with out pay and lobbying congress to abandon minimum wage laws as well as a host of other pro worker laws... you get the picture. I'm just ranting. Wal-mart is on my list and this just makes me mad.
Sorry it happened to you but you did the right thing.

[Sugermama]

Originally Posted by thisiswhatwedo

Well how about boycotting Wal-mart. They are pretty evil. Are there other stores you could get to ? You could let them know that on top of unfair labor practices, sexual discrimination of their female employees, slave labor in China locking employees in the store that work over night and running family owned business under and having a conservative agenda, not selling female contraception, forcing employees to work overtime with out pay and lobbying congress to abandon minimum wage laws as well as a host of other pro worker laws... you get the picture. I'm just ranting. Wal-mart is on my list and this just makes me mad.
Sorry it happened to you but you did the right thing.

They are on my list too