Originally Posted by madskye
Complaining is par for the course. But the judgment of other people's parenting gets old--no matter what your values are, or what philosophies you to which you adhere.
I'd say the thread sparked with so many people because we are all so darn tired of being judged for our choices as parents, yet...it's so darn hard to stop judging.
Ha--maybe I should have said the judgment of other people's parening NEVER gets old!
My main concern with the OP's bashing of the parents is not so much about the ethics of anonymously complaining about unnamed people, to complete strangers who have no way of knowing who you are or who you're talking about.
It just bugged me, when the OP's bashing of these children's homes and lifestyles, was followed by what seemed to be a lot of posts saying things like, "How lucky these children are, that at least they have you to care about them."
I wasn't saying the OP was a terrible person -- I just don't think any child is "lucky" to be spending his/her days with someone who has such disdain for that child's parents. And no, I don't for one second believe that the OP says hateful things about the parents in the children's hearing.
I just know, from my own personal experiences of being a kid, that adults don't have to say anything directly bad about another person, for kids to pick up on the fact that they dislike/disapprove of that other person. So, I think that if she loves these kids and wants to keep caring for them (and I believe she does), she needs to make a choice to start loving and respecting their parents, too.
And no, respecting doesn't mean agreeing with all the other parent's choices ... it's impossible, anyway, to find one. single. other person who we're going to agree with 100% anyway. It just means that she respects the fact that God (or whatever force she believes in) has entrusted these particular children to these particular parents -- so there must be something about these parents that's ideal
for these particular children. They were meant
to grow up in these families.
As I've already said, I sometimes come here to vent, too. But I always do so knowing that I'm venting to a diverse bunch of people, some of whom may sympathize more with the person I'm venting about, than they do with me. I think it's healthy to hear back from all kinds of people -- sure, empathy and sympathy helps, but so does the reminder that diversity is essential to life and good problem-solving.