Are you having a shower?

[lizzylou]

Have friends/family already mentioned a shower?
When will it be held?
What type of shower do you envision?

My sister wants to host a shower for me. It won't be until July. It will probably be on a Friday night due to various scheduling conflicts. She is envisioning something that's more "cocktail" than frou-frou, which is fine with me. It will probably be small - I only have a few local friends and family.

Just wondering what is in the works for everyone else. Does anyone have un-traditional (non-"frou frou") shower ideas?

[alicia9178]

Oh, I am envious. My mom does not believe anyone should get a shower after thier first baby...after getting rid of everything I could really use one though. Also with this being a VBAC I just would love to celebrate the upcoming birth with other empowering women.
Alicia

[AmyLaz]

Not that I know of, although I do know a few women who've had showers for their third babies. I'd love one, though
A friend of mine just had her first baby, and her husband's boss and his wife did a couples shower for them. They did beer/wine/cocktails and a barbeque buffet. It was basically a casual Saturday night party. After everyone had eaten, the guys went down to the basement to watch a ballgame, and the women stayed upstairs and did presents. It was very nice!

[diamond lil]

I'm sorry if this comes across the wrong way, but I really hope to have one! I've probably thrown over a dozen bridal/baby showers over the years for my friends and family, including for my sister.

My family is very ettiquite-conscience. My mother does not believe that "family" should throw showers for family, even though I participated in throwing my sister a bridal shower and hosted her baby shower.

DH sister (my SIL) is engulfed in a bitter divorce and can think of nothing else aside from making her STBX's life miserable. I know I will not get any cooperation from her even though I threw her a beautiful baby shower 2 years ago. I'm sure my friends are probably waiting for my family to throw me a shower (see my problem above), so I'm not counting on anything.

I never had a bridal shower because I eloped, so it would be nice to have one day where people were making a big deal. I know that sounds selfish, but I never did the big fancy wedding with multiple showers (my choice), so I kinda would like a little recognition for this upcoming baby.

We are also a little "older" and have been married 10 years, so I think most people just assume we can afford to buy whatever we want. To a certain extent, that is true. I just would like a day that is celebratory of this new little life and my new role as a momma. That's all.

Thanks for reading...

[accountclosed3]

we are having a shower. we decided that we wanted a party to celebrate our baby.

Have friends/family already mentioned a shower?

no one mentioned planning one for us, and so we decided that we would plan one for ourselves. technically, our parents (future grandparents) are hosting the party.

When will it be held?

Ours is set for June 22. this date was picked entirely on intuition. my preference is actually for June 21, but that didn't work out for some important folks (like my parents!). So, we put it on the 22nd of June.

What type of shower do you envision?

luckily, i'm planning it so i get exactly what i want. one of my friends and coworkers runs a local yoga studio where i work. this has a lovely open indoor space (yoga space) as well as a really nice garden.

i plan to have the party in the garden, with the indoor space being used secondarily if it rains. i also plan to put the "gifts table" inside the house. i'm putting my FIL in charge of gathering the gifts that people bring and putting them on the table.

i am planning live music for about 2 hrs. i'll pay for that aspect, but we'll also leave a tip jar for them. they're young kids (college age) and we like their sound (accoustic guitar/voice--two young men).

we're going to have quiche, fruit, and veggies available, as well as cake. ice tea, water, and soda water will be the offered.

oh, and it's a "jack-and-jill" shower with both men and women present because most of our friends are men.

[AmyLaz]

diamond lil, you should do like zoebird and throw one for yourself! I've thought about doing that as well

[accountclosed3]

diamond and those with more than one child:

if you want a party, throw a party. i wanted a party because i want the baby to be celebrated! Once i figured out that no one else was going to throw one, i decided to do it myself!

i think that every baby should be celebrated!

to me, if other's think it's tacky or whatever, they can decide not to come or not to buy a gift or whatever. I just wanted a party to celebrate this exciting thing in my life!

[lizzylou]

Diamond, I'm conscious of the etiquette as well. But at the same time... I don't really care. It's not about gifts really, it's about celebrating the baby.

I like zoebird's idea. If you do something like that, you could describe it as a celebration, not a shower. Semantics might help with the family issue. Friends/family could help plan and hopefully someone would take over most of the responsibilities so you could relax and enjoy the day.

[AKA_PI]

Have friends/family already mentioned a shower?
My co-workers are throwing me one at work on May 23 and my family and friends are throwing me one on June 21.

When will it be held?
My family and friends one is going to be held at the community center of a local church.

What type of shower do you envision?
Women-only, very baby-ish with tons of ballons and floral arrangments. I love flowers and balloons and requested that tons of them be there.

[foogoomomma]

Have friends/family already mentioned a shower?

My friends have mentioned one and so have the girls at work. I think that means I'm having two.

When will it be held?

So far my reg. friends are planning one for mid-late July and I have no clue as to when the girls at work are doing it.

What type of shower do you envision?

I don't think I'm really going to be involved in the planning process. For my regular friends it's really a chance for us to all get together and those changes are few and far between. Since it will be super hot here it will be inside that I know for sure. Either at a restaurant or at someone's house (not mine!).

The one with the girls at work will either be at work or at someone's house.. no idea there, but I'm sure it will be crazy because well those girls are a bit wild lol

[accountclosed3]

my invitations, btw, are post cards through vistaprint. it's 100 post cards (our list is about 75 people, but we don't expect most people to come because they live far away, but we have to invite them because they are family or friends) and envelopes and i think it comes to $30 or something for the lot. I figure a few extras won't hurt.

on the front, it says

Celebrate the Baby
with J and R!

day/time

location

then on the back, the invitation is written on the left side, while directions to the venue are written on the right.

the invitation reads:

Mike and Alice Smith with Aaron and Lisa Jones

warmly invite you to join us for food, music, and great company
celebrating J and R's first child!

Date
Time

Location

RSVP to Lisa at Phone Number

The pleasure of your company is the greatest gift, but should you like to give another, J and R are registered at thingsiwant.com.

of course, i changed my family's names here, but you get the idea.

we figure about 30 people or so will come to the party.

[diamond lil]

Originally Posted by AmyLaz

diamond lil, you should do like zoebird and throw one for yourself! I've thought about doing that as well

I'm totally digging this idea!!!!

[robertandenith]

I am getting one, it might be done in July - I'm in no rush really.. My best friend is doing it for me

[not now]

My best friend is throwing me a shower but I have laid down some rules. Both male and females (and their kids!) are invited, it's a BBQ, no shower games, swimming, beer must be readily avaliable and no crazy decorations. Basically, it's a BBQ She and I went back and forth on the "no baby shower games" request but I won because it's my party.

[holothuroidea]

lil, you and new baby definitely deserve a shower! Do whatever it takes to get one. I don't think you should even have to plan it, make your DH do it!

I also think that all babies should be celebrated, not just first babies. If you already have children then just a sposie shower (if you're not CDing) or something of that ilk would be good! I'm waiting for my SIL to get pregnant again so I can throw her a party!

Have friends/family already mentioned a shower?

Anyway, I didn't think I was going to have a shower. This baby came very close to our wedding, which people were very generous for. It's hard to expect people to give all over again just a year later. The only person I knew that would throw me a shower, SIL, had done my bridal shower last July and I didn't expect her to do it all over again...

But she did!! Because she's awesome!! I am so excited about my shower!

MIL kind of took over like she always does, though. She is being a poopy face about it because it was so close to the wedding. In her mind, it's all about the gifts. She's actually not inviting people that she doesn't think will bring gifts. WTF IS UP WITH THAT!? She's being a huge PITA! The shower is all about her, and people giving gifts because she gave them gifts. Therefore, she's inviting all her friends and none of mine. She's crazy.

When will it be held?

Last weekend of June

What type of shower do you envision?

Very traditional. Catered. At SIL's house. 75+ people.

[hyz]

: Is there a pouty smiley? lol.

I have almost no good friends locally, and no family. Everyone I love most (except for DH!!) lives at LEAST 4 hours away, but most of them are halfway across the country or more. I wouldn't expect them to come to a shower--they were just here for our wedding last year! Plus, we honestly have more money than most of them, so asking them to fly here AND then have them feel like they had to buy us presents (even if we told them not to)--just seems wrong.

There are some people here I'm friendly with at work, and some of DH's friends, but that's about it. One of DH's friend's wives who I'm friendly with really wants to throw me one, but I'm embarrassed to tell her that I wouldn't know who to invite. Seriously, there would be like 5 people there.

So, I don't know. Friends have already been sending us some little gifts, and talking about visiting sometime soon. I'd rather have them come separately once the baby is here, so that they get to meet her, and I get to spend some actual time with them--not like the wedding where people flew across the country and I could barely spend 20 minutes with each of them because I was trying to play hostess to everyone at once!

[accountclosed3]

hyz:

i felt similarly, but then i realized that when we combined both of our work friends, our good acquaintances (we don't count a lot of people among close friends, and most live across the country, in another state, or in another acountry!), and the friends who do live here. . .

our list went from 5 to 75. lol. no lie.

[AmyLaz]

Originally Posted by holothuroidea

MIL kind of took over like she always does, though. She is being a huge bitch about it because it was so close to the wedding. In her mind, it's all about the gifts. She's actually not inviting people that she doesn't think will bring gifts. WTF IS UP WITH THAT!? She's being a huge PITA! The shower is all about her, and people giving gifts because she gave them gifts. Therefore, she's inviting all her friends and none of mine. She's crazy.

OMG! WTF?! Don't stand for that! The shower is about your baby and you, not her friends and her. Tell her that you want your friends there and hand her a list of addresses. If she refuses to send them invitations, call them up, explain the situation, and invite them yourself! I doubt she'll turn them away when they show up at the door, gift or not. Enlist your SIL, who sounds awesome, in the process.

[bettie cracker]

no shower for me - 2nd kid and all. BUT, my friends (the ones that don't have kids) are all surprised that you don't traditionally have a shower after the first baby. We don't need anything really for this baby (unless the gifts included drywalling labor. haha) and I hate writing thank you notes - so, its a plus for me.

[~Megan~]

Two friends insisted that they throw one for us. I have no idea what it will be because its all a surprise. I think they said early July. Hopefully inside or nicely shaded!