Irrational whine about my mother...

[Molck]

I'm trying to stay positive, but sometimes it just feels better to gripe out loud instead of carrying it around, so here I go. Anyone else, Feel free to use this space to air your frustrations as needed.

Begin vent:

My mother. She has a history of doing this: promising to give me something or do something totally wonderful and unexpected for me and then pulling out at the last second. It always leaves me feeling like crap because why should I be angry she's no longer getting me something I never needed in the first place?

This time, she said she was getting me an Ergo carrier. I've been walking around for weeks pointing them out to DH every time I see one, telling him how my parents are getting that for us, how I'm so excited.

Now she tells me she knows we "don't want anything we can't use right away" (I said this?). So she's going to buy a bunch of cute clothes that we don't want and don't need. And I feel like such an ungrateful b**** for being upset about it. Gah!!

She's been doing this for years. Why haven't I caught on by now? It's such a stupid, little thing, but I seriously want to rip my hair out!!

Okay, end vent.

[NatureMama3]

how frustrating!!

[kalisage]

I'm really sorry, that just sounds so frustrating

My only frustration at this point is those well meaning people who have stopped asking "when are you gonna have that baby" to now... "you know some women just don't go into labor, when are you gonna get induced" GAH.

[amyaebi]

When money is tight it is so nice to be able to relax and know that someone else can take on the expense of something really nice -- I totally understand that.

Hopefully you will be able to return the clothes and get money for your Ergo.

Amy

[momtobeof3]

Can't you say to your mom..."you know what mom...I was really looking forward to the Ergo..can we stick with that since I have plenty of clothes?"

[MarchWillow]

And for some reason, my mom can bring out that emotion better than anyone else. If it was DH's mom or another relative I wouldn't be nearly as angry.

Last night my mom -who has been totally supportive of my homebirth, even watched buisness of being born etc etc...says to me... "I don't think you can handle the pain, you never have before, you're gonna end up with an epidural again" WTH????!!!!! I said to her "mom, they don't give epi's at home-and there's a good reason I had epi's before...I had high bp during labor and was forced to lay down on my left side only and not move....that would make a non laboring woman want an epidural" she went on to tell me how she had me all natural. I wonder if she's feeling some kind of competition or something? It was just weird. Trying not to dwell on it, but when it comes from your mom...it just jacks with your head! And I don't need that little seed of doubt KWIM? argh!

*rant off*

I hope you can find a way to still get your ergo...hopefully you can take some of the clothes back, or find a way to tell her you really don't want/need clothes. Maybe a gift certificate?

[Molck]

Originally Posted by momtobeof3

Can't you say to your mom..."you know what mom...I was really looking forward to the Ergo..can we stick with that since I have plenty of clothes?"

Nah... it's one of those things I just have to let go. She'll come visit, see the baby in the cute clothes and then leave, and we'll buy the ergo for ourselves at some point or we won't.

It's funny, though, the day after my mom and I had that conversation, I was going to call my dad and tell him how stressed I was about it, to see if he could talk to her for me. But I checked my email first. He had emailed to say how happy Mom was that we had such a great conversation the day before . So bizarre.

Thanks, ladies, for all your support. It's nice to have a place to vent frustrations sometimes...

[Galatea]

Wow. That is obnoxious behavior from both your moms. My mom only annoys me when she says that I sound sick or stuffy or something, which she says like every morning when I call her.

[Luv2Skydive]

My dad used to be like that when I was younger....empty promises. I never did get that horse! Luckily, when he married my step-mom, they now follow through on what he says he'll get/do for us!

Ugh....mothers......I hate that non-stop look of sympathy I can see her giving me out of the corner of my eye everytime I move!! And her volunteering to help just turns into me getting frustrated at telling her exactly how to do something and where things are several times to the point of me wishing I'd just done it myself!

[Breeder]

I would be SO disappointed if I was told I was going to get an Ergo and ended up with baby clothes instead. I think you're totally justified in your feelings there.

My mother, although supportive of my vbac.... has been calling me every two hours. Yesterday it was hard. Today I just keep saying, "I'm just fine." then quickly telling her something cute DS said so that she can't harp on me about if I'm still having "pains".

Mothers!

[cj'smommy]

I would be upset too.

My MIL is like this, what really drives me nuts is when she promises the boys things and then doesn't follow through. It is so hard on them. It's not always 'things' either, it's usually visits that she backs out of right after she gets them excited that she's coming over. All it takes is my SIL to call and whine about something and she leaves my kids a wreck. Can you tell I have a gripe with her at the moment?

[Molck]

Originally Posted by cj'smommy

I would be upset too.

My MIL is like this, what really drives me nuts is when she promises the boys things and then doesn't follow through. It is so hard on them. It's not always 'things' either, it's usually visits that she backs out of right after she gets them excited that she's coming over. All it takes is my SIL to call and whine about something and she leaves my kids a wreck. Can you tell I have a gripe with her at the moment?

Visits used to be the big one with us too, but somehow I've figured out that when she says she'll visit it probably won't happen. The switch just hasn't flipped in my brain yet for the stuff aspect of it. Bleh...

Sorry your MIL does this to you guys. It sucks.

[SusannahM]

I'm sorry. I understand.

[Learning_Mum]

Could you point out to your Mum that you *can* use the Ergo right away?

[bubs8]

My mom has been annoying me lately too. She hasn't done anything as frustrating as promising something and then changing her mind, but she does call a few times a day. I promised her we would call when I'm in labor and its like she doesn't trust me! She'll call and say "well, any news?" or "are you at the hospital". She got upset when I told her that I'm refusing pelvic exams (how will she know when the baby will come if she doesn't know how dilated/effaced I am????). Its just frustrating.

[Shanana]

I am still working on adjusting my expectations of my mother. I think it's a lifelong process ...