Not Surpired but shocked all the same - Page 2

[tireesix]

OK.................

Thank G-D someone from the UK has posted this because I am going out of my mind here!

Reasons I have heard for not breastfeeding include the ever so popular 'titties are for husbands'! OMG, is this woman like a 14 year old boy?

Its not just about a lack of support, otherwise women would be actually trying to start in the first place which alot aren't bothering with.

Others start but then just decide that they have too little milk (funnily enough at growth spurt weeks), they don't ask anyone for help, they just decide for them selves and then wonderfully pass their wise info on to other people.

I am FURIOUS.

Maybe I should let it go, I know not everywhere is great for breastfeeding support, some Doctors, HVs, MWs etc seem to do all that they can to undermine breastfeeding but you are always handeed a list of contact numbers for breastfeeding advice and support where you can also get advice about local support groups. Information is plastered all over the place on the internet and in most parenting forums there is always a breastfeeding section with women ready to help those with problems who can provide links to kellymom.com or LLL or whatever.

I wouldn't be so angry about it but there seems to me to have been a shift in views, couple of years ago, women were trying to breastfeed and seems to have started going the other way now.

For those that have problems breastfeeding, problems that do make it impossible to breastfeed or extremely hard whatever, I always give a big thumbs up, you tried, you did your best but more and more don't even seem to be bothering to start from the get go, otherwise, so much importance has been place on colostrum that they say 'I am going to breastfeed for the colostrum bit but then its bottles after that.

And, on top of that, we have to be so careful about how we speak ALL the bloody time because otherwise we are being offensive (I haven't bothered being careful here, not in a good mood lol) etc and we just get no where anyway.

I quit training to be a breastfeeding counsellor, I quit being a mother supporter at our local breastfeeding group, I got fed up of people coming in, asking for advice and then doing the complete opposite because they decided formula will do anyway, I got fed up of people just not bothering to breastfeed anyway, I got fed up of the lack of support from HCPs but most importantly of all, was my childreens health.

I got damn well fed up of taking my childreen into an environmentt that wasn't safe for them, they are allergic t milk, the breastfeeding group was part of a larger children group, I couldn't go without the kids because there was no one to watch them. Yet despite everyone knowing about my childrens alleergy, they still left their childrens formula etc lieing around the place, they would get it all overe the place in the kitchen. So yeah, lack of personal support stopped me going as well, and I am happier for it.

Just to add, generally, I don't mind what other people do, its just the excuses that blow my mind ie the I have to go back to work, titties are for DH etc. If you don't want to breastfeed just say you don't want to breastfeeed. I have more respect for someone who just comes out with it rather than comes up with lame ass excuses. Personally, I am dreading breastfeeeding this new baby, I hate breastfeeding, I really don't want to do it (I know) but I can't formula feed either thanks to all my readings and I am stuck with breastfeeding for another 2 years (I did at least 2 years with my other 2 and I would feel too guilty to not do that with this one). I know what its like to not want to breastfeeed but at least give it a go and preferably for a bit longer than the first feed lol.

[amitymama]

Even though the breastfeeding rate in my area is fairly high (well above the national average) and probably 80% of the mums I met when DD was a small baby breastfed, only a couple were still nursing past six months. It was like as soon as baby had a bite of 'real' food, they all just stopped. I found it incredibly strange and sad. I was often asked "So you're still breastfeeding her?" when she was a year old. I'd proudly say "Yep!" and they'd just give me a polite smile that said they dind't really get why I would do that. DD nursed until she was 18 months and I always got lots of encouraging remarks from health professionals.

[amitymama]

Slightly OT but did any of you in the UK happen to go to the Get Britain Breastfeeding art exhibition in London last week? I went on Tuesday and it was brilliant! A whole art gallery devoted to finding a new campaign to encourage breastfeeding. The winning posters are going to be rolled out by the NHS to promote breatfeeding. I hope they do some good. One of the winning entries was a close up picture of a woman's breasts with a baby's hand on one and a man's hand on the other and the woman's hands entertwined with both of them, with the tagline being something like 'for both your baby and your man.' Another one showed a close-up of a woman's breasts, one of which was covered by a leopard-skin bra and the other one had a baby latched on. It said something like 'Designer bra, designer milk'. Another of my favorites was drawn to look like a sheet of paper that a kid had written on with crayon and said "I know you can do it, mummy."

[tireesix]

And Kiz, funnily enough, most people I know do know the differences between breastmilk and formula milk and are quite happy to state that nutritionally etc, breastmilk is superior, but its THEIR decision and they made the best onee for THEM.

Funny old world.

Another thing, ttheyy always bring up the 'yeah, but in the olden days women could just pass their babies over to milk maids so me not breastfeeding isn't really any different'.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

[tireesix]

Originally Posted by amitymama

Even though the breastfeeding rate in my area is fairly high (well above the national average) and probably 80% of the mums I met when DD was a small baby breastfed, only a couple were still nursing past six months. It was like as soon as baby had a bite of 'real' food, they all just stopped. I found it incredibly strange and sad. I was often asked "So you're still breastfeeding her?" when she was a year old. I'd proudly say "Yep!" and they'd just give me a polite smile that said they dind't really get why I would do that. DD nursed until she was 18 months and I always got lots of encouraging remarks from health professionals.

I didn't get to the art thing.

What I have noticed is the dairy comapnies getting in the way of breastfeeding with their stupid calcium filled pots of petit filous ettc. They have marketed everything so well that once a baby is being weaned, they don't need breastmilk because a wide and varied diet can give them everything and seeing as though they are eating other food anyway, breastfeeding isn't so important.

I think Petit Filous is marketed for children as young as 4 months old or something stupid. I tear my hair out.

[rabbitmum]

I noticed when in England last summer that all the baby food boxes had written on them: "For babies six months or older when weaning is established" - so actually encourageing weaning when other food is given. Strange!

[Onemagicmummy]

in teh UK weaing is the t4erm given to the introduction of solids, not the stoping of breastfeeding


kiz

[amitymama]

Originally Posted by rabbitmum

I noticed when in England last summer that all the baby food boxes had written on them: "For babies six months or older when weaning is established" - so actually encourageing weaning when other food is given. Strange!

Yep, and this annoys me greatly. I hate that the term 'weaning' is associated with starting solids. I think that's why so many of my mum friends weaned their babies from the breast as soon as they started solids. It's put across as this natural progression and that at six months babies don't need breastmilk anymore.

When I was at the Get Britain Breastfeeding exhibit I mentioned this to a woman working there and said that I think we need to campaign the NHS and other breastfeeding information sources to change the wording. Starting solids should be called 'introducing food' or 'supplementation' or something, not 'weaning'. It sends entirely the wrong message. :

[rabbitmum]

Originally Posted by Onemagicmummy

in teh UK weaing is the t4erm given to the introduction of solids, not the stoping of breastfeeding


kiz

Aha! Now I have looked it up and found that different dictionaries say different things about the meaning of the word. Introduction of solids seem to be the original meaning of the word in English.

I'm sure I'm not the only person to have misunderstood this word, though, so maybe that's one reason why people seem to think they have to stop breastfeeding when introducing solids?

None of my English relatives that I asked, knew about this meaning, and were as baffled as I was.

I also remember reading about children in the 16th century in England, who were sent off to a wetnurse, that it said they were weaned and came home at two years old. I assume they must have eaten solids in addition to breastmilk long before two years old.

[Claire and Boys]

I think things have got worse here too - when I had my first, all but one in the ward was breastfeeding. With my 2nd, I was the ONLY one. A couple had tried it for all of 24 hours.

[BugMacGee]

My BIL's sister lives in London and is generally crunchier than some (CD's etc) She was giving formula at Christmas to her nine month old. I found that odd, but I guess this thread explains it.

[prothyraia]

Originally Posted by amitymama

Yep, and this annoys me greatly. I hate that the term 'weaning' is associated with starting solids....Starting solids should be called 'introducing food' or 'supplementation' or something, not 'weaning'. It sends entirely the wrong message. :

Technically, taking weaning to mean the complete cessation of breastfeeding is what's inaccurate. Weaning means to gradually reduce something. "We weaned her off the pain medication instead of stopping abrubtly", etc. Eating solids replaces nursing, so starting solids means starting to wean the baby. It's a process, not an event. Being completely weaned (no more of whatever it is you're reducing) is the end point of the process.

[wannabe]

Originally Posted by PatioGardener

I think the last numbers out of the UK I read said that only 2% of babies make it to 6 months breastfeeding exclusively.

to you for leading the way!

Don't forget that that includes babies who've had solids but no formula.

[ar2974]

I'm irish but live in NYC. Breastfeeding is the norm in my neighborhood here. I can't think of anyone off hand who has made a choice not to breastfeed for at least a year.
When I go home to Ireland, it is completely the opposite. Most people formula feed as a matter of course. I know only one of our neighbors who breastfed. My mom was so delighted that I was nursing when I first visited with dd (she was 6 weeks old) that she basically set me up as a show and tell everywhere we went - well, not exactly, but she'd constantly ask if the baby needed to be fed and point out comfortable chairs in coffee shops. People were super nice and mostly just very curious - more than one person asked why would I breastfeed rather than formula feed in a genuinely curious way. I'm sure they are even more mystified now that I'm nursng an almost 2 year old.

[amitymama]

Originally Posted by prothyraia

Technically, taking weaning to mean the complete cessation of breastfeeding is what's inaccurate. Weaning means to gradually reduce something. "We weaned her off the pain medication instead of stopping abrubtly", etc. Eating solids replaces nursing, so starting solids means starting to wean the baby. It's a process, not an event. Being completely weaned (no more of whatever it is you're reducing) is the end point of the process.

Yes, in an ideal world where people understood that weaning is a verrrrry gradual process. But most people seem to think that weaning should take a couple/few weeks and so to me, that's pretty abrupt. All of the mums I knew who started 'weaning' as soon as they started their babies on solids at 5/6 months were completely done breastfeeding by 7 months, 8 months max. So maybe we don't need to change the word but certainly the way we view it.

[sarah0404]

Originally Posted by amitymama

Yes, in an ideal world where people understood that weaning is a verrrrry gradual process. But most people seem to think that weaning should take a couple/few weeks and so to me, that's pretty abrupt. All of the mums I knew who started 'weaning' as soon as they started their babies on solids at 5/6 months were completely done breastfeeding by 7 months, 8 months max. So maybe we don't need to change the word but certainly the way we view it.

I'm sad to say this is what happened with my older two. I had intended to bf for at least 2 years. But once I started introducing foods they pretty much lost interest in breastfeeding. I never did purees or baby food. Just gave them some of what we were eating. Obviously I was giving them too much. I wasn't even viewing it as replacing milk with food. It just seemed to happen that way. My dd stopped breastfeeding about 10 months (I was also pregnant at the time so that might have contributed) and my ds was about 8 or 9 months.

Back to the original topic - I was at my mums yesterday and she gets a magazine called Nursing Times. I found a little article in it that said: Two thirds of women did not know that breastfeeding reduced their risk of breast cancer. And Two thirds of women did not know that breastfeeding reduced obesity and type 1 diabetes How on earth do two thirds of women not know this?!!!!!! I thought that sort of information was common knowledge. There are tv ads, posters in all health centres, articles in mainstream parenting magazines, and as soon as you get pregnant you are bombarded with a zillion leaflets about it from the midwives. How have they managed to miss it?

I don't see things getting better at all. Stats for my local hospital show a breastfeeding rate of less than 50% for newborns. I was quite impressed when I had my ds3 that all the women in my ward were breastfeeding... till they started talking about how they were going to introduce bottles much earlier this time (all the babies were 2nd babies) and how one of them knew someone who'd breastfed for 8 months, and it was DISGUSTING to be doing it for that long : Then another woman who had had a scheduled c/s was brought up to the ward. I heard the midwives doing the handover saying that the baby had been given 20mls (or whatever) of formula down in the delivery suite. From what I overheard it sounded like she'd had a pretty horrible delivery last time, which is why she was having the elective c/s this time. Maybe she'd had a traumatic start to breastfeeding too, and decided to bottle feed from the start. But why would you not even let the baby have colostrum? Even just feed them once. One breastfeed would be a huge benefit to the baby. They put the baby onto your chest as soon as its born. Even when you've had a c/s. I've seen videos of newborns crawling up and latching themselves on I keep thinking about a brand new baby searching around to find a nipple then being taken away and given a bottle instead

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by wannabe

Don't forget that that includes babies who've had solids but no formula.

This is true. I see breastfeeding as the first over all population goal, and then exclusive breastfeeding (EBF) for the first 6 months as the second. There is a long way to go with only 2% of babies making it to 6 months EBF!