so bummed about Motherhood store

[mama in the forest]

Just need to vent here.

I stopped into the Motherhood clothing store in Kalamazoo, MI (Crossroads mall) and bought a blouse. I had to give my phone number, name, & address so I knew something was up and I asked to be on their "no mail" list.

The sales person (who was the manager too) said ok, but it might be nice to stay on it because then I would be able to get some nice formula coupons. :

I explained to her that I definitely did not want that, and that I felt that sending new mothers (i am not a new mother as I had my six kids with me) forumla coupons was not a good idea as it might thwart breastfeeding for some mamas. Just having the coupons available might make some women feel that they NEED the forumla and might give up on breastfeeding and that it was counter productive in support of breastfeeding to send them out.

She was quite irate. She explained to me that SHE simply COULDN'T nurse, and that formula is very expensive, and that they at Motherhood want to help women shoulder the high costs of formula. I told her that I was not in any way speaking about her personal experience.

The whole thing just made me feel sick. I've been mothering and breastfeeding for 20 years and this woman (who was young enough to be my daughter) read me the riot act and really put me in my place. I've been away from mainstream society so long that when I venture out into the world, I just want to crawl back into my forest. Yuck.

[nataliebassoon]

Grrr. . . I am starting at a Motherhood store tomorrow, and I pledge to never ever say that to anyone.

[zinemama]

You never have to give your name, address or phone number to a store. Never. (They will know your name if you use a cc, of course, but that's it). Just refuse. Believe me, they will take your money without the info.

[mytwogirls]

They tried to pull that crap with me at Motherhood too. I told them my phone number was unlisted for a reason and that was that. They even wanted to know WHY it was unlisted. I said unless you work for the FBI or police then you don't need to know now give me my damn clothes and I will never be back you nosy bi*ch (I was kinda hormonal that day ) How rude of that lady. She obviously has issues with not being able to breastfeed and is not over them. Too bad she could not have met someone to have helped her out.

[apelilae]

Ugh. How annoying. When they ask for mine I say no, if they press, I like to make up silly cartoon names and give out 1234 Fake St.

[AlpineMama]

I just say I have no phone.

[mamalibby]

I can't stand that place. I just say, "I don't want to give out my info, bc I would hate to get those awful formula samples!" They have always gotten upset, at the three or four different locations I have been to. I wonder if they get reprimanded if they don't get the info...if so, that stinks.

Once, before I had a m/c, I was in the store and mentioned to the clerk that I planned to nurse throughout my pregnancy, and she just laughed and laughed, like it was the most ridiculous concept in the world. When she saw I was serious, she looked disgusted, and kept staring at my son like she was trying to figure out if this was actually the child I talked about nursing (he was 13 months! A BABY!)

[fujiyama_mama]

I don't work for the store or anything like that. But I don't feel like they ONLY support formula feeding. Yes they give out Formula coupons, but they also sell nursing pads, nursing bras, lanisolh (however you spell that), breast pumps, etc..

[mama in the forest]

I don't work for the store or anything like that. But I don't feel like they ONLY support formula feeding. Yes they give out Formula coupons, but they also sell nursing pads, nursing bras, lanisolh (however you spell that), breast pumps, etc..

Yes, they sell all of those products, but my problem is that they are giving out FORMULA coupons, and not free nursing pads or coupons for bras, or other good breastfeeding freebies. Or if they are I am unaware of it.

Actually, now that I think about it even if they were giving out free breastfeeding stuff I'd still be annoyed they were giving out formula coupons.

[Teyu]

Not surprising since I've heard lots of stories about how pushy they are when it comes to giving you free bottles or formula.

I mistakenly gave my number and maybe my address to Babies R Us and I got Enfamil shit in the mail. I had to call them and request to be taken off. I was polite about it though.

[KristyDi]

I refuse to give any store any personal info. on principal. My phone number and address are none of their business. They don't need it. If they press I continue to refuse or walk away.

It sucks that she was so rude. It was very unprofessional "put a customer in her place." A simple "oh, ok" would have worked, then if she wanted, she could think about how crazy you are later. But she should have kept her mouth shut in the moment.

Just to clarify I don't think you're crazy.

[dogmom327]

Hugs mama. That must have been a very stressful experience.

I doubt I would have come up with this in the moment but if I could I would have pointed out:

1. If their concern for the high price of formula and "helping" mothers (rather than interfering with BF) is genuine, then they would provide the option of getting coupons on their website or a similar system rather than automatically forcing them upon everyone. If someone wants or needs formula, the coupons would be there but it wouldn't likely have the same undermining effect.

2. I wonder if she's considered why formula is so expensive? There are a host of reasons (no need to get into them here) but a contributing factor is the very large amount of samples, coupons and other promotional items which are distributed. It's just like a drug company--high marketing costs mean high product costs. So really Motherhood Maternity is helping keep the cost of formula up.

I'm getting so sick of people telling me they couldn't breastfeed. Obviously there are people who truly can't, but the majority could if they had the support (medical, social, psychological, etc.) and the desire to do so. I would have had a hard time not firing back on a tirade to this effect.

As for the personal info thing--I've noticed that the practice is getting more aggressive the last few years. I think there are a few reasons including incredible pressure on sales people to collect the info (it's a HUGE moneymaker) and inaccurate info given to the sales people so it can be passed along to customers (e.g. 'we don't sell the info). I've had to get into crazy b**ch mode a few times when sales people have started arguing with me rather than accepting a simple "no". I'm usually a very nice and calm person but I feel it's incredibly rude and an invasion of my privacy.

If everyone refused to give their info and complained loudly about it, the practice would end quickly. But lets face it, most people are in serious auto pilot mode and just rattle off the info without thinking (DH did this once and I read him the riot act later--he gave them my cell number no less!).

[mamajake]

Motherhood Maternity is owned by Mothers Work as is Pea in the Pod and at least one other maternity store I can't recall the name of. They are in the business of making money. Period. They have always sold all of their customer contact information to the mailing list houses for sale to formula companies. Always. I had a firm talk with their marketing department ten years ago about having sold my info and they made it quite clear that it makes them money and they would not consider any policy change that made the practice transparent. They don't support breastfeeding because they happen to sell some items breastfeeding mothers use. They sell what brings them profit - no other motivation at work here. As long as duping women into providing contact info makes money for them, they will continue to do it. As long as they are paid to hand out formula coupons, they will do it. If they weren't pad, they wouldn't do it. No altruism at work here.

[mama in the forest]

As long as they are paid to hand out formula coupons, they will do it. If they weren't pad, they wouldn't do it. No altruism at work here.

Damn, I wish I had thought to say that to her. That was her big guilt trip for me...that mothers NEEDED help buying the formula and Motherhood was really wanting to help these poor mothers out.

[mamajake]

Originally Posted by mama in the forest

Damn, I wish I had thought to say that to her. That was her big guilt trip for me...that mothers NEEDED help buying the formula and Motherhood was really wanting to help these poor mothers out.

Yeah, that argument sends me over the edge. The response is "really? Then how about giving coupons for generic formula and not the expensive stuff?"

Sounds like that sales person had some personal issues. I have never heard of any corporate representative of Mother's Work making any pretense about their motivation.

[theboysmama]

I went in last week to look for a few nursing shirts that I can wear while pg. I walked in and nicely asked the 2 ladies who were working (and chatting) where they might be and 1 lady pointed towards the back of the store. I asked if she might have anything else and she then informed me that nursing shirts weren't meant to be worn while pg. (she still hadn't gotten up) So I gave up on the shirts grabbed a pack of stockings and went to check out. She said "can I have your phone number?" I said no. then she said "Why Not?" I told her bcs they sold my info and i wasn't interested in any free formula or coupons. She got all defensive and told me that they never sell the information they just use it to send "gifts" It was very annoying. How can they treat paying customers like that?

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by zinemama

You never have to give your name, address or phone number to a store. Never. (They will know your name if you use a cc, of course, but that's it). Just refuse. Believe me, they will take your money without the info.

:

[onlygirls]

Originally Posted by fujiyama_mama

I don't work for the store or anything like that. But I don't feel like they ONLY support formula feeding. Yes they give out Formula coupons, but they also sell nursing pads, nursing bras, lanisolh (however you spell that), breast pumps, etc..

They also sell your information to Parenting magazine. I shopped there one time this pregnancy and they asked for my info to get special offers. I was trying to corral my other two kids and agreed just to be done and get out of there.

Next thing I know, I am getting Parenting Magazine. I figured it was a starter subscription, I would get an invoice and ask them to cancel.

Imagine my surprise when my checking account was charged $20 by Parenting Magazine!! That is a higher rate than what is quoted in the magazine. I contacted Parenting, asked for a refund (they reversed the charges) and asked them how they got my info. They told me it was from Motherhood Maternity. After that I called Motherhood and demanded that they remove me from their contact list.

I will never shop from them or their sister stores again. I know my experience is not "lactivism" but I think their company is unethical and will not support it.

[Twinklefae]

I don't think that that happens in Canada. I really like Motherhood Maternity as one of very few places that they can properly fit a bra. They post signs in the dressing rooms welcoming mothers to nurse, and they sell nursing bras, tops and pads. I never got one thing of free formula, not a coupon, not nothing. Even though I gave out my info every time. I was encouraged to buy nursing tops while pregnant (saves on the cost later!) I love the staff there, as I find them very attentice (vs. thyme maternity, where it's hit and miss)

Anyway, I'm sorry for all whose info got sold, that sucks.

[ramama]

Frankly, as far as BF supplies go, Motherhood doesn't sell anything that isn't sold at Walmart (or Target, or Kmart). I wager that their *support* of BFing is just a front. They sell a few ill-fitting (at least for me) over-priced nursing bras and their selection of nursing tops is atrocious. Sure, they sell nursing pads and lansinoh, and the occasional breast pump, but so do all other stores on the face of the earth.

As many PPs have said, they are in the business of making money, and ONLY making money, not supporting mothers and the various choices they make.