Circumcision: Do you know the facts?

[Katielady]

Hey all,

So most of us don't know the gender yet, but it's never too early to start thinking/talking with your partner about circumcision. It's something that a lot of people in America do by rote, without really questioning it. But in truth, it's unnecessary surgery on a brand new baby that causes a lot of harm. We left our son intact and I'm so happy about it every time I change his dipe and see his beautiful natural body.

SO, in case you have questions or would like to learn more, there's a whole forum about it on MDC:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...splay.php?f=44

You can post questions here if you want, too.

[gypsymomma4]

as the mom of two intact boys, I just wanted to say that like with most things when it comes to preg. and parenting, read all you can, and ask all the questions you can. I was ambivilant about the whole circ. thing until we found out we were having a boy. for me it was my DH who asked me to do the research because he wanted what was best for our son. I wouldn't have thought to question circ.'s if it handn't been for an article in Mothering. I will always be greatful for the information, and the empowerment that information provided.

[Katielady]

Originally Posted by gypsymomma4

as the mom of two intact boys, I just wanted to say that like with most things when it comes to preg. and parenting, read all you can, and ask all the questions you can. I was ambivilant about the whole circ. thing until we found out we were having a boy. for me it was my DH who asked me to do the research because he wanted what was best for our son. I wouldn't have thought to question circ.'s if it handn't been for an article in Mothering. I will always be greatful for the information, and the empowerment that information provided.

I feel the same way. I never questioned it growing up, and my only experience with intactness was a 4-year-old I babysat. When I noticed he had a foreskin (during a brief nudist phase ) I just thought "huh, weird." I'm not sure I ever would have done it because I'm the nerdy type who researches EVERYTHING, but still, I'm glad I found the info I did. As soon as I started reading about it I was horrified that *anyone* does this.

I've read many stories from moms who didn't know the facts and had it done and were devastated later. I'd hate for that to happen to anyone else!

[mochimama]

We will definitely not circumcise. Dh is not circumcised because his mom had a foreign doctor and he recommended not circumcising (at least that's what dh told me) and I'm so glad for an intact dh!
If we have a boy and my mom says something like "don't you want him to look like his father?" I can't wait to say "if we don't circumcise, mom, he will look like his father"

[two bricks shy]

If we have a boy, we will not be circumcising.

DH was circumcised and he he against doing anything like that to his son without a medical necessity (i.e. to repair severe hypospadia, etc). However, if the boy were to choose circumcision later after learning the facts, we would support him.

[Booflies]

I am sure DH will love my sharing this...
but he was circumsized at age TWELVE.
And guess the "medically important" reason for it?
He's from the Philippines (lived there til he was 18) and I guess it's a folk belief that circumsized males are taller.
At 12, they decided he wasn't tall enough... and wanted to see if he'd grow more by being circumsized. COMPLETELY TRUE!!!!!!!
DH is a whole 5'3" (5 inches shorter than me ). I don't think it worked.
How traumatic for a young man!

[Mrs-Mama]

Oh, how terrible for your DH, booflies! Where do all these myths come from...and how could someone possibly believe that?

[chisub]

We will not be circumcising and it is because of MDC! DH was not on board until I showed him the video, for some reason the data wasn't enough for him. TMI as well, but DH has a scar on his penis b/c his circumcision was botched and it had to be done twice, poor thing! You would think that would be reason enough, but it was the video. I figure if our son really wants to get it done when he's older I will support it, but it's not my place to do it.

We are 100% keeping our son intact (don't know yet of course what we're having), however I have to be honest that I'm nervous about the upkeep of it. I think it would be the same if it were any boy since I was always a nanny for baby girls, but it does seem like I need to be a little more educatied as far as cleaning and protecting my son from uneducated doctors.

[andi-mama]

Originally Posted by chisub

I have to be honest that I'm nervous about the upkeep of it.

There IS no upkeep! You do absolutely NOTHING. The general rule is "clean it like a finger"- IE give it a wipe and you're done. The foreskin should absolutely NOT be retracted until it does so on it's own- and then you just teach your son to gently clean it when he's in the bath. That's it! A lot less work than a circ'd penis, which you have to (if I understand correctly) retract every so often to ensure it doesn't re-attach or something

[UnassistedMomma]

My oldest was circ'd. I was a first time mom and so I was nervous enough about things. It absolutely broke my heart to see his penis wrapped in gauze with the goo all over it, and what was obviously a very painful wound because of the appearance. When I changed him, each time I would have to unwrap the gauze from around it, clean it and re-wrap it. We both were sobbing by the time each diaper change was done.

I have no idea how this is sold as the better option for those who have no religious reasoning for it. Of course, that was 1989 and I have no idea if things are done the same way now. I was just 19 years old and I don't recall ever being asked; I only remember being told that it was done and he "slept through the whole thing". I was so uninformed in those young and pre-internet days that it didn't even occur to me to question it. It horrified me many years later to find out how often that line is used to assuage parents.

My youngest boy is not circ'd, and if the little one on the way is a boy he will not be either.

[chisub]

Originally Posted by andi-mama

A lot less work than a circ'd penis, which you have to (if I understand correctly) retract every so often to ensure it doesn't re-attach or something

Yes, my friend had a son last year and it was reattaching so she said she had to quickly pull it back b/c it was reattaching. She did this even after the pediatrician did it in the office and it sounded terrible!

Circ or not, I'm just not familiar with cleaning dirty diapers on baby boys. I obviously have alot of reading to do so I feel comfortable with telling others how to handle my son, that's what I meant by more upkeep b/c it is more upkeep in the sense that I've heard doctors try to retract, etc. and I need to be armed with data like I am with other aspects of my medical care.

[Om Girl]

Arrgghhh...sending DH over to the MDC circ threads...

He's circ'd, so is everyone else he knows, except "that weird kid in middle school who got teased all the time because he wasn't".
When we were pregnant with (then unknown) DD the circ decision nearly started WWIII in our family. Time for another go-round I suppose, especially as I'm getting "boy" vibes this time around.

[nznavo]

There is seriously no drama involved in caring for an intact penis. Just let it do its thing.

Where I come from people don't circumcise. The only circumcised penis I've seen was on an American ex-boyfriend, so it's not something that ever crossed my mind for a second. Where I'm living now it's actually kind of hard to get done - it's uncommon so you have to get a specialist come do it. Definitely not the default option!

I have to say, coming from a land of intact men and boys I do find the 'how to keep it clean' arguments kind of annoying. I was pregnant with my first in the US and came across this quite a bit, the 'oh but it must be so unhygenic, how would you clean under there?' thing. As if all the men and boys I knew either had filthy penises or some secret complex cleansing routine.

[andi-mama]

Originally Posted by nznavo

Where I'm living now it's actually kind of hard to get done - it's uncommon so you have to get a specialist come do it. Definitely not the default option!

That's how it is here, too. It's great!

[tireesix]

I can't believe people have issues about cleaning intact boys penises and yet have no problems with a girls, I mean jeez, a girls bits are so much more complicated, especially after a particularly nasty poo lol.

If you can clean a finger, you can clean an intact penis.

[~Jenna~]

Originally Posted by tireesix

If you can clean a finger, you can clean an intact penis.

: I don't get any of the pro-circ arguments. They don't make a bit of sense to me.

[Alison]

Most people here in NS don't circ. I grew up in the UK, where again, most people don't circ. I never occurred to me or DH to circ DS. DS has just turned 5. The other day when he was having a bath he asked me what the purple thing on the end of his penis was. My heart skipped a beat, and I had awful visions of open sores on his penis, or big scabs or something. No, he'd just figured out how to retract his foreskin, and the "purple thing" WAS his penis.

It's no big deal to clean up a baby boy after a diaper change. The friends I know who have both (and their sons are mostly uncirc'd) even say that cleaning up a baby boy is easier, because there are fewer nooks and crannies that need cleaning, it's all right there out front.

If this one is a boy, it won't be circ'd, cause basically none of his friends will be, none of his relatives will be, and it's just not a common procedure here, except for religious reasons.

[hannybanany]

We will not be circumcising and it is because of MDC! DH was not on board until I showed him the video, for some reason the data wasn't enough for him.

Sounds just like us!

I am so thankful that I found MDC I am sad to say that if DD has been a DS she would have been circ'd. That makes me so sad. I am so glad I know better now!

I thought it would be hard to convince DH, but after seeing (and hearing ) the circ video his mind was immediately changed. He even has anti-circ discussions with his friends Of everything I said to DH this is what he says stuck in his head - His Body, His Choice.

[chisub]

I know you guys are just answering what you thought was my question, but I guess I'm not getting my point across the right way. I know nothing about the natural retraction of a penis or anything and neither does my DH. I would like to know as much info so I can help inform my DS and family members when the time comes. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to some people, but when you've never changed a boy's diaper before you may have questions. Just picture if you were a man that never changed a girls diaper, you would still have some questions, right? I guess that's what I'm looking for, just basic information b/c I have read that doctors will try to retract, etc. and I want to know as much info as possible. Cleaning like a finger is fine for my every day knowledge, but not against this pro-circ society, know what I mean? This is not a cleanliness question.

[Mrs-Mama]

Please check out the Case Against Circumcision forum. There is lots of great info and there's also a sticky entitled A Warning For Parents of Intact Sons.

Retraction happens at all different times, from birth to puberty and beyond, and to different degrees of "completeness". DS has been very retractable since about 16 months, but I can't say if it is completely retractable b/c no one has ever attempted to retract him.

As for general cleaning and changing a baby boy's diaper, the worst part is cleaning the scrotum...very wrinkly and things tend not to wipe away as easily there.

OT: I'm nervous about changing a girl's diaper if this one turns out to be a girl. Seems like there's so many more places to have to clean!