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Circumcision: Do you know the facts? - Page 3

post #41 of 48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buckysprplmonkey View Post
It's crazy how many times you have to remind them at the hospital if you are not circumcising. We've had to refuse to sign the paperwork several times and as we're getting him ready to come home (maybe), every nurse asks us about circumcision and we have to keep telling them we're not.
OMG, that would make me so nervous. How ridiculous, too! Good for you for fending them off.

It's especially sad to me when people circ preemies. I've read accounts of parents who couldn't wait for their baby to be healthy enough to circ. I can't imagine putting a poor little fighter, who's already been through so much, through more trauma that isn't even necessary!
post #42 of 48
Our son (almost 7) is intact and this baby will be as well, if it's a boy (well, either way but at least the female version isn't routine in this country). DH and I argued during my first pregnancy, until I started sending him all the research and videos. Quickly changed his mind! And our son has never noticed that his penis looks different than daddy's. . . actually, he probably has noticed; of course it looks different, it's much smaller and isn't surrounded by hair! The foreskin is almost incidental. Care has never been an issue. His foreskin still doesn't retract all the way (at least the last time I asked him), but we've talked about cleaning and how it will eventually retract. He's bathed himself for years now, so I don't worry about it (the kid would live in the bathtub if I'd let him). Honestly, I didn't find his hygiene any more challenging than my daughter's (and he's much better about keeping his penis clean than she is about cleaning around her labia).

It always saddens me when I hear a mother say "It didn't bother my son at all. In fact, he just fell asleep." No one tells these mothers that sleeping like that after trauma is a defense mechanism in the newborn, and in fact is clear evidence that it DID bother him. Plus, the impact on bonding and breastfeeding at a time when baby should be alert and focusing on Mom.
post #43 of 48
Oh, the things you learn....both my older boys were circumcised. But I am proud to announce that Baby Finn will be the FIRST of his brothers to stay intact. I watched the videos (crying) and made DH sit and watch. I was appaulled. Everyone keeps asking how I'm going to explain this to the older boys (I guess they mean why their brother looks different) and I already talked to them about it. Basically what I said was, "just like you learn things everyday, so does Mommy and Daddy. When you were born we didn't know what we know now." End of discussion. If a 7 and 4 yr old can understand that why are some (adult) relatives having a hard time digesting it????
post #44 of 48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slinginhipmama View Post
Oh, the things you learn....both my older boys were circumcised. But I am proud to announce that Baby Finn will be the FIRST of his brothers to stay intact. I watched the videos (crying) and made DH sit and watch. I was appaulled. Everyone keeps asking how I'm going to explain this to the older boys (I guess they mean why their brother looks different) and I already talked to them about it. Basically what I said was, "just like you learn things everyday, so does Mommy and Daddy. When you were born we didn't know what we know now." End of discussion. If a 7 and 4 yr old can understand that why are some (adult) relatives having a hard time digesting it????


I think what you said to the older boys was perfect. And I feel like kids are a lot more accepting of differences than we give them credit for. We are an interfaith household- I was raised Christian (and now I'm quasi-pagan) and DH was raised Jewish (and doesn't really follow one faith now but has done a lot of study of Buddhism). Anyway, we both have a lot of cultural attachment to the religions we were raised with, and plan to celebrate all the holidays. Adults will say, "It'll confuse the kids! How can they think of themselves as part Jewish, but have a Christmas tree?" But then I've heard that the kids tend to have absolutely no problem with it- it's the adults who get confused!

I've read many accounts of families where the dad and the first son are circed and subsequent sons aren't, and it just didn't end up being a big deal. When the kids are little, sometimes all you need to say is "everyone's penis is different," and that's enough for them.
post #45 of 48
Our little man won't be circ'd, even though DH is. He was completely open to this, and I showed him the most recent article about circ in Mothering and those line drawings of how they do it was enough to send him into the land of NO CIRC'ING!! :
post #46 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katielady View Post
OMG, that would make me so nervous. How ridiculous, too! Good for you for fending them off.

It's especially sad to me when people circ preemies. I've read accounts of parents who couldn't wait for their baby to be healthy enough to circ. I can't imagine putting a poor little fighter, who's already been through so much, through more trauma that isn't even necessary!
That's exactly how we felt about it. The poor little guy's been through so much already. Noone's been able to give me any valid medical reason to put him through that too. Our hospital actually links on their site to a site cautioning against circumcision. And when we told the nurses we were no circ, they were totally OK with it and mostly even supportive and against circ. I think it's just that so many parents still do, they are used to that.
post #47 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by slinginhipmama View Post
Basically what I said was, "just like you learn things everyday, so does Mommy and Daddy. When you were born we didn't know what we know now." End of discussion. If a 7 and 4 yr old can understand that why are some (adult) relatives having a hard time digesting it????
Our only and oldest was also circ'd, this is exactly what we said to him after he got ahold of the Mothering issue all about circing, read it, looked at the diagram, and cried for what had happened to him. He did his grieving and we did ours and we will never circ another child as long as we live. I think our circ'd son is the greatest anti-circ activist I know!
When we know better, we do better. Maya Angelou
post #48 of 48
I am so thankful that I don't have to fight about circ with DH. He's european and uncirc'd, so no problem. And it's a great conversation closer when someone else starts to freak about not circing and how unhealthy it is. I just give 'em a puzzled look and say "My husband is not circ'd and he's never had a problem in his life." that usually shut's 'em up, because you know the "like father like son" argument is the next one up. lol!

And the CAC forum is a GREAT place to go if you have any questions. I love lurking around there, I have learned A LOT about how to deal with doctors and etc.
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