Our son (almost 7) is intact and this baby will be as well, if it's a boy (well, either way but at least the female version isn't routine in this country). DH and I argued during my first pregnancy, until I started sending him all the research and videos. Quickly changed his mind! And our son has never noticed that his penis looks different than daddy's. . . actually, he probably has noticed; of course it looks different, it's much smaller and isn't surrounded by hair! The foreskin is almost incidental. Care has never been an issue. His foreskin still doesn't retract all the way (at least the last time I asked him), but we've talked about cleaning and how it will eventually retract. He's bathed himself for years now, so I don't worry about it (the kid would live in the bathtub if I'd let him). Honestly, I didn't find his hygiene any more challenging than my daughter's (and he's much better about keeping his penis clean than she is about cleaning around her labia).
It always saddens me when I hear a mother say "It didn't bother my son at all. In fact, he just fell asleep." No one tells these mothers that sleeping like that after trauma is a defense mechanism in the newborn, and in fact is clear evidence that it DID bother him. Plus, the impact on bonding and breastfeeding at a time when baby should be alert and focusing on Mom.