Originally Posted by mamapajama
I have 2 very spirited boys almost 6 and almost 4, and I am often completely overwhelmed. I am SAHM and we homeschool. My house is tiny, we have one car, and bam suddenly I am pregnant with number 3. This is a total accident. I am so upset. I am about to be 38 years old and I can't even imagine going through another pregnancy, little baby, etc. Part of me says no way and then part of me days oh, what if it was a girl? And then larger parts of me say: we have no room, no money, and I am finally doing stuff for myself again. These last years have been very hard for me as I have 2 spirited boys. I can't imagine another. I just can't believe this has happenned. On top of it all I just found out while I was out of town, and I am at a big family gathering having to pretend everything is OK while secretly crying in the bathroom.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to proceed or how to even function. Please don't flame me, I know many people here are trying to get pregnant, and I worked hard for my two boys. They were definitely planned. I just don't think I can do it again.
I have been in your boat before......NONE of mine were actually PLANNED. My first I was sooooo young and in a hard relationship (if you call it that) and I felt like I had ran into a brick wall. Thankfully everything ended up working out and then about two years later....here came unexpected baby number two!! My first had just gotten to the terrible two stage and I was stressed to the max with her and then I find out I am having another!!!! This may sound horrible, but I felt like my little family was being bombarded by a stranger. But eventually I got over it. And as soon as he was born, I was not sure how I lived without him!! I definitely can not imagine life without him now. He is one of my sunshines....makes me smile when I am down. Comes and loves on me and says....I wuv u mommy. So I finish nursing him and then what do ya know....I am pg with my third unexpected. Basically the same negative feelings again....eventually get over it and again....I can not imagine life without him! Jump forward to finishing nursing with him and ......welll you know....I was pg AGAIN with my 4th unexpected baby!!! This one I decided to just embrace from the beginning even though I was really not wanting anymore kids.........btw we were only wanting two kids.......hehe. So I have been getting more excited and any time I have negative feelings, I throw them out and remind myself how everything else turned out...I know everything will be fine. Now I am thrilled to be just days away from holding my new baby girl! A lot of times, I think we just have to convince ourselves to be happy and eventually it becomes reality. Mind over matter if you will....lol
Also I will point out that your first two are relatively close in age and thus probably was harder for you....but with there being more of a gap from your boys to this baby....then I would almost say with certainty that it will be easier for you.
I have a 5 yr old, 3 yr old, 1.5 year old and a new baby that will be here in just days!!! I really think it has gotten easier as my kids got older. My two older ones are such a help with my current youngest.....and I know that it will be the same with the new baby. My three year old is soooo excited and he comes up and lifts up my shirt and kisses and talks to the baby. He is always asking if the baby is awake or asleep and occationally if I have had the baby yet....lol. My oldest was not the happiest at first.....she was not mad, but she was just used to it. Having younger siblings and her mom being pg is the norm for her....lol. But once we went and had the u/s and she saw the baby and found out it was a girl, she started to get excited....and I know she will be even more excited when the baby is actually here. She is amazing with her younger brothers. She helps me like crazy around here. Honestly the house would not be as clean as it is without her helping me.
I really think that your situation will be alright....it just takes a little adjustment period.