thank you all

Dh and I talked more (poor guy, he wants me to be not in agony but he also wants things to go as natural as possible). We came to the conclusion not to do castor oil/etc unless something feels truly WRONG (not just cruelly different from our "norm").
I think I may have a little leak now too. 3 times day I've had vaginal wetness when I shouldn't have. maybe that will help things along.
an update I put on the UC forum:
my midwife's MIL was in a very serious wreck today and was life flighted to the hospital (2 hours north of
them-4 hours from us). she was on the way up there when I called her.
so no IV or m/w help today.