Need some advise on NIP and speaking with our pastor.

[noeonend]

Dh and I have been searching for a church home for the past six months, and finally decided on a church about a month ago. It is a small church plant, and we really love the heart of the church. They are really working to make the church comfortable for young families, and adjusting the flow of the nursery/toddler areas. The church has some property with the a pretty rough building on it. One man began the building(totally out of cinderblock, covered in stucco!), and when the church bought it, they have only had the funds to make due with what they started with. They are now at a place where they can begin to make some adjustments to the building, primarily the children's areas. B/c of Dh's construction background, and with us having a 2 yo, and one on the way, we were invited to be a part of some planning and suggestion time today with the pastor.

There is currently an alcove in one area of building, and it is between the nursery and the sanctuary. He was talking today about building a wall up and making some adjustments so that they could make it a nursing room with the service televised. I made several suggestions, and he was very receptive to them. I am not one to NIP just b/c I am large breasted and never felt comfortable with dd due to many issues. I don't know how I will do with this one, and the newborn days are a little scary to me, so I would love to be able to go to church and have a place to nurse where I did not feel stuck in a closet.

The issue is though, I feel a need to speak to our pastor about making sure that women are made to feel comfortable wherever they decide to nurse. I am pretty sure he would be receptive to what I am saying, but I want to make sure that I approach this carefully, and get the point across. In our conversations, I have learned that his wife nursed all three of their kids(late 70s to early 80s) and from what he has said, it sounds like she did NIP(we were discussing making a part of the nursery area private for moms who needed it, and when I mentioned older nurslings getting distracted, he said his wife had plenty of times where she was embarrassed b/c a kid popped off). He is also not one of the stuffy preachy types you can come across, think more beach boys/surfer dude!

So, any suggestions?

[kapatasana]

hmm... maybe you could suggest a sign in the nursing room that mentions that women are free to nurse wherever they are most comfortable, or mention putting something in the bullition or whatever it is (don't a lot of churches give out programs before? When I've visited a church with family they always seem to)? Just mention, "hey, I thought maybe it would be a good idea if we put something up/in the program/etc. that explained that mothers were welcome to nurse in here if they want privacy, but that they are free to nurse wherever they are most comfortable/is best for baby" Something like that.
If sounds like your minister and especially his wife are pretty cool

[Meiri]

I'd suggest not completely closing off that nook. I know I'd've felt claustrophobic. But putting up just enough of a wall to provide a space that any mom could use when a child needs less distraction or just a little space might be enough. Line it with sound absorbing material, put in a speaker so parent can hear the service and you've got a nice in-between sort of set up between being in the service and in the nursery.

[dolcedaze]

I like when churches have these and call them "crying rooms". Moms who are more comfortable nursing in private there still will, but it's a term that won't offend. No one disagrees with removing a screaming baby!

[justthinkn]

Actually, crying room bugs me more! I think it's great for moms who want privacy for nursing to get it and still be part of the service, but since that's how the room is used, it means it's not a good place for dads to go with babies who are crying and need somewhere to go! So unless there's another place available (which, luckily, there is at our church) the mom would always be the one stuck leaving the service. I think two spaces are required, with the understanding that one is esp. for nursing privacy IF DESIRED and the other for anyone with a child who needs more room or a better space to be noisy.

[sweetpeppers]

the crying room at my former church bugged me because they would leave kids in there by themselves to cry themselves to sleep!

[noeonend]

Originally Posted by sweetpeppers

the crying room at my former church bugged me because they would leave kids in there by themselves to cry themselves to sleep!

Holy Crap!!

For what it is worth, the room is a good 10 by 15, and is sunny with lots of windows(blinds of course!), and they were thinking of closing it off b/c it is directly across from the bathroom(unisex, single user).

THanks for the suggestions ladies! Keep em coming!

[Meiri]

For what it is worth, the room is a good 10 by 15, and is sunny with lots of windows(blinds of course!), and they were thinking of closing it off b/c it is directly across from the bathroom(unisex, single user).

Well in that case, let it be a room. When you called it a nook, I was picturing a much smaller space, too closetlike if closed off.

for working on this for moms' comfort.

[leosmommy]

I work at Babies R Us...we call our room the "Mother's Room" and tell moms that they can nurse anywhere in the store and use that room for whatever they want...nursing, bottle feeding, changing, a sit down break, etc. Maybe call your space "Mother's Room/Area"? And definitely put something in the bulletin about it...

[Ravishing]

I'm wondering if this is something that even needs to be brought to the attention of the women in the church? Our church is really laid back and our pastors sound very similar to yours. We have a room with a closed circuit tv that moms can nurse in but its also very common to see a mama BF in the middle of the service.

I have been in other churches where I know BF in the service would be totally scandalous and frowned upon. I think the atmosphere of the church can sometimes speak louder than a sign.

[Gnatty]

Unless it becomes an issue I don't think it needs to be officially pointed out to everyone. If the atmosphere is such that mama's feel comfortable NIP there, then it will just happen, I think. I do love our church's mother's room- it is separate from the sanctuary, but they rigged a baby monitor so either I can listen to the service, or some of the other mothers turn it off so their babies can sleep in there.

[nataliebassoon]

I also like the term "mother's room" better; if it was called a nursing room I might worry about offending someone if I nursed out in the sanctuary. (I am all over NIP, but I try to respect cultural norms at churches where modesty is more of a factor). At my church it is called the nursery, and I have used it or nursed out in the sanctuary depending on what was most comfortable at the time.