Things Not To Say To Pregnant Women

[kalisage]

Today DP had to work, so my sisters took me to breakfast! Everything was so good & yummy. However, when sitting a very pregnant hormonal woman, do not ask, "can you fit into that booth?" - cause now not only will I fit into it, but I will make your life hell

- Do not ask your very pregnant sister if she is going to go to 12 months, and if baby will be considered 1yr old then.
- Can you possibly get any bigger is not a smart idea. I believe the courts would understand the use of force in these cases.
- You're going to POP any minute now, aren't you? .... Ummm, no last I checked I never POPed, nor do I plan too. I may just poop on you tho

Lucky I'm in a very sarcastic silly mood, else I may have popped someone in their nose

[tallulahma]

how about "are you sure its not twins?"

if I hear ONE more person say this to me, Im going to flip.

I may just start responding, "are you sure you are not an idiot?"


grrrr.

im not even THAT big.

fwiw, I have gone to a couple restaurants in the past month where I did NOT, in fact, fit in the booth and would have appreciated the hostess letting me know that the booths were tight. It would have saved me the embarrassment of having to try and then go get someone who could get me a table.

[Beeblebrox]

Said to me as I stand there, still very big, with no baby in my arms....

"So, you're still pregnant?"

Why yes, yes I am.

[adtake]

From the drive through lady at McD's "Should you be driving??" ...I'm pregnant not incapable!!

39w 6d at the zoo... "Arent you afraid you'll go into labor?" ... Afraid? Afraid?? Hell I'm hoping on it!!

[Luv2Skydive]

1. Still no baby?
2. How long will the doctor *let* you go over your due date?
3. How are you feeling?
4. I bet you're ready to have that baby!
5. Surely you aren't going to get any bigger (thanks mom.....heard this one at 37w)
6. You're HUGE!
7. So, do we have a name yet? (yes, but we aren't telling you!)
8. Were you hoping for a girl? (no, I was PRAYING for another boy actually!)

[barefootpoetry]

Not in your DDC, but thought this was a funny topic. How about...

-"Are you allowed to do/eat that?" in regards to things that aren't really dangerous. I'm sorry, I forgot that being pregnant means I have to live in a bubble.

-"Haha, you must be pregnant!" when you're seen eating four ice cream sandwiches in a row. NO SH!T, now GTFO of here before I eat you too!

-"How many babies you got in there?" Seven! And three of them have two heads!

-"So what kind of delivery are you having?" Seriously, just don't ask me this, because you won't like the answer. Even if I just said, "natural," you'd have all kinds of stupid things to say. So don't ask if you're not going to be supportive.

-"Another boy huh! Boy I bet you're really looking forward to THAT, haha!" Yes, yes I am, thank you.

-"Watch out, you might send yourself into labor! Hahaha!" If putting groceries in the trunk of a car would send women into labor, I think we'd see a lot of full term pregnant women waddling eagerly into Wal-Mart every day!

-"When are you due? Is it a boy or a girl? Have you picked a name?" I know everybody loves a pregnant chick, and these kinds of questions are just a way of being polite, but they get reeeeeaaally annoying when you have to answer them ten times a day. Someone should have a biz where you can order a shirt screenprinted with the answers on the chest!

-"So is this your first?" No, it's my second. And may I counter your demeaning stare with the fact that I am also married, 25, and this baby was very much PLANNED, no matter how much I look like some airhead teenager who got knocked up on prom night.

[happyfrog]

sigh

i totally understand how you all are feeling.

it's getting ridiculous here, too with the perfect strangers asking me those same questions - and what's REALLY entertaining to me, is when I'm walking in the store with my 2 kids (I push a shopping cart and pull another one - one kid per cart) I still walk faster than most non pg folks and they have to kind of double their pace to catch up to me to ask me those idiotic questions. .

sigh

btw, my latest answers?

I tell folks I'm due in late August, OR, depending on how irritated I am, I say 'i'm not pregnant, it's after dinner bloat'. ..

my dh says i'm mean to say those things, but you know what? First off, it's PERSONAL info! I don't want perfect strangers stalking me - you just never know, you know? and really, it's no one's business but MY BABY! on what the 'due date' is! The kid will arrive when the kid is ready to arrive. . .

bettyann
getting punched in the cervix right now by little *Z*. .. it's a very odd feeling!

[Juliacat]

Originally Posted by barefootpoetry

"When are you due? Is it a boy or a girl? Have you picked a name?"

Not in your DDC, but I couldn't resist replying to this--I was practically livid getting asked this question all the freaking time. I was like, "November [this was a lie, it was actually October but I didn't want people harassing me]. No, I'm not going to tell you the exact date in November. Because I don't want you to know, that's why. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl. No, we're not going to find out if it's a boy or a girl until it's born...I'm pretty sure we'll find out at the birth. No, not knowing if it's a boy or a girl is not going to be fatal for anyone. I am not going to expose my fetus to sound waves that have been proven neither safe nor effective just so people can pigeonhole him or her into a gender role before he or she is even born. The nursery is painted yellow anyway. I'm not even going to have an ultrasound. No, they can't handcuff you to the ultrasound machine and force you to have an ultrasound. No, we haven't picked a name. No, we're not going to tell you the names we're considering. Why? BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT YOUR OPINION."

[Molliejo]

[Molck]

Can I just interject with one thing to say? A man walked up to me on the street today, clearly approaching me, and I tensed, getting ready for the barrage of stupid questions. You know what he asked me?

"Do you know if there's a Peets Coffee around here?"

Nothing about the baby at all. Imagine, someone treating a pregnant woman like a normal person! It totally made my day!

[PMolly]

Originally Posted by inchijen

how about "are you sure its not twins?"

if I hear ONE more person say this to me, Im going to flip.

I may just start responding, "are you sure you are not an idiot?"

I tried to explain to my SIL there is not a non rude way to ask this question. She insisted that when she asked a 39 week preggers woman this it "wasn't in a rude way". Right.

I'm getting phone calls. Due date's not until next week. People like my niece and sister and BFF, who would know when the baby is born because I would call them. It's like a train wreck. I can see them heading to the question but they can't stop themselves "so, still pregnant?". I've started telling everyone I had the baby two days ago when they ask that.

Oh, and I hate anything along the lines of "you must be miserable" or "that can't be comfortable." It's okay if I complain from time to time, but there are some things that ARE enjoyable and magical about being pregnant. Thanks for disregarding that stuff, idiots.

[SumnerRain]

"Is this your first?" I get this one ALL THRE FREAKING TIME! Even when my kids are there with me! Uh, no, my 4th.

"Are you happy you are finally getting your girl?" No, I am happy I am finally having my fourth. We TTC #3 for 6 years and TTC #4 for 2 years, so I was just happy to get pregnant so "fast", I did not TTC for 8 yrs total for a daughter, just a child. I hate that people are always act like boys are second class citizens or less desireable or more difficult than girls. I personally would take 4 boys before 4 girls... but I am sure if I had been given a house full of girls I would say the same about 4 girls.

[clintonhillmama]

i'm not in your ddc, either, but i couldn't resist posting my favorite, from an older male clerk in a store:

"are you dialated at all?"

i was literally speechless. i wished i had said, "you didn't just ask me about the inside of my vagina, did you?????"

[MarchWillow]

After today and being around family...it's the "are you gonna call me?" that's driving me nuts. DH's mom wasn't even at her own daughters birth 5 months ago...with her first baby, and the first girl of the family too...and today his mom is telling me "you better call or Im gonna be pissed, I really want to be there." His sister called him yesterday crying and angry because she knew I had the baby and hadn't called them, she just had a feeling.... *rolls eyes* I never call them, I never ever "hang out" with his family...why would I run to them when I start labor? This is their first ever experience with homebirth, and although I am excited to share with them a brand new way of giving birth and kind of use it as a way to open their eyes to all this...at the same time, I am beginning to feel like a freak show.

I told DH if he calls either one of them before I say okay during labor, that I will divorce him. He knows I won't divorce him, but he got the point. I told him I may not even want to call til after he's born. I just don't know how I am going to feel and don't want to commit to anything. Im thinking...They are this crazy and neurotic 2 weeks before my due date...oh hell no do I want them in my house while I labor. Maybe, and just maybe, if they show up like while Im pushing lol.

And the Popping thing....omg that was in my weekly check in post....everyone around me has started using that term. I nipped it today when my brother in law asked when I was gonna pop. I said "first of, pregnant women don't pop, nor spit out babies, they give birth, and second off I am going to give birth by the same due date I have been telling everyone for 9 months and it's still two weeks away" His wife (DH's sis) was actually kindof supportive and said "yeah what do you think we poke her with a pin and she -pops-?" It was really sweet coming from her. I think she maybe starting to get where Im coming from...although Im not holding my breath.

The comments fortunately have seemed to stop from strangers. The downside is, with the enormous belly hanging out...people have started rubbing. I guess in some ways it's better. But this is just getting weird. I mean, if I was really obese...or if it was a fat man would you rub his belly??? That is so weird to me. Would you rub my belly if I were skinny. Do people really think the baby can feel that? idk. It's totally deserted island time.

[MarchWillow]

Originally Posted by clintonhillmama

i'm not in your ddc, either, but i couldn't resist posting my favorite, from an older male clerk in a store:

"are you dialated at all?"

i was literally speechless. i wished i had said, "you didn't just ask me about the inside of my vagina, did you?????"

ROFL...my God man...that one takes the cake!!! wow. I would have wanted to respond with "have you had a prostate exam lately?" Course, I never think of those lines til Im venting later :P

[rightkindofme]

Originally Posted by barefootpoetry

-"When are you due? Is it a boy or a girl? Have you picked a name?" I know everybody loves a pregnant chick, and these kinds of questions are just a way of being polite, but they get reeeeeaaally annoying when you have to answer them ten times a day. Someone should have a biz where you can order a shirt screenprinted with the answers on the chest!

Kind of like this? http://www.cafepress.com/buy/due+dat...t_/fpt_/c_666/

(You can customize to say anything you want.)

[kalisage]

Originally Posted by barefootpoetry

"When are you due? Is it a boy or a girl? Have you picked a name?"

per suggestion my answer will be January, a frog & yes

Originally Posted by Molck

Imagine, someone treating a pregnant woman like a normal person! It totally made my day!

That's great!

Luckily I was in a great mood/continue to be so when asked if I would fit I just laughed

[GiGiQ]

The cousin who hosted my baby shower was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle the stairs up to her second floor apartment.

Recently, I answered "when are you due" from a stranger with a curt, "soon" to which she replied, "I only ask because I'm an OB nurse and I notice these things." Wow. How many years of specialized training did it take to be able to spot a 37 week pregnancy? And which hospital are you at, that I apparently need to stay far, far away from in the event of emergency?

I'm tempted to start answering all pregnancy-related questions from strangers with explicit details about my sex life.

And what's up with women who have had children not knowing that their topics of conversation are unwelcome? There are two tellers at my bank that I see on a regular basis. One is freshly pregnant (12ish weeks?) and not too annoying, as she just wants to talk about maternity clothes, but the other had a horrible labor, as did her sister and mother, and yes, I know every detail. Why oh why would she think a woman weeks from her first birth would want to hear the details of her episiotomy and its aftermath?

[Mamato2and2]

Originally Posted by clintonhillmama

i'm not in your ddc, either, but i couldn't resist posting my favorite, from an older male clerk in a store:

"are you dialated at all?"

i was literally speechless. i wished i had said, "you didn't just ask me about the inside of my vagina, did you?????"

:

[cj'smommy]

Ok, I know we don't want to hear these things but this is cracking me up.

I have a few, just can't think of them now....thankfully most of what I've heard has been positive except when they have to do with us having boy number 3. I hate that it's implied/expected that we are unhappy about it, that bugs the crap out of me. We were not trying for gender, we wanted another child. Why I've heard "well, you can try again" is beyond me...