Originally Posted by dubfam
I think that parents KNOW what the best thing is for their child.
Some kids need a longer goodbye, others are fine without it. I have seen children from the same family be both ways...so it isn't alway caused by the parent IMO.
Whoa! I wasn't in ANY way suggesting that ANYTHING was CAUSED by a parent...at all....by saying a quick exit is better, I only meant that I have seen parents be the ones with the separation issue, and by dragging out the goodbye "Mommy's going to miss you, etc etc etc" they actually ADD to the child's anxiety. And even without that component, ten years viewing things from the classroom perspective has shown me that students do MUCH better, adjust much more easily and readily, and feel more confident when their parent says goodbye (not sneaks out), is positive and upbeat, and makes the goodbye free of an emotional charge. Even if that meant the parent stifled their own separation issues, tears, etc. until out of view of the child. Children so easily pick up on the emotional cues we give them, so if we act like the separation is something to be sad about, worried about, etc. then we project those feelings on to the children. Of COURSE as a mom, I believe that I know what's best for my child. But I also know that when I drop him somewhere, he will feed off of my energy, and so I am loving and reassuring, but also very positive...without making the goodbye a long, drawn out thing that holds more drama than it needs to. This was simply an anecdote of my past experiences, nothing more. If you read my entire post, you saw that I disagreed with the behavior of this nursery volunteer. And as for those kids who need a longer goodbye, that's why I told parents to stay close by (lobby, parking lot, etc.) As a teacher, I wasn't in the business of making kids miserable, or making their drop-offs traumatic. Obviously if a child needed a different kind of transition, that's something that I worked with the parent to figure out. As another poster stated, this was all done up front, upon enrollment, and there was much explanation and discussion behind it. I'm sorry if my post was misinterpreted, but I was in NO way suggesting that parents don't know what is best for their child.