Need vent about my MIL!My MIL is SO irritating! There are too many things to go into here but I'll try to be brief.
After dd was born we invited her to spend some time with us and the new baby, at her convenience, after she was born. My own mother can travel here easily and was willing to leave for a week or a weekend whenever my MIL wanted to come to spend time alone with us and the baby.
MIL gave us a whole song and dance about how she can't leave FIL alone (he's a polio survivor on crutches) because she has to take care of him 24/7 and can't possibly leave him alone for even a weekend. Yadda Yadda.
(He can't fly anymore and so they have to travel by car, which is laborious and expensive, since they have to stay in handicapped-accessible motels everywhere and not with friends or family.)
I was very hurt but finally came to terms with it. They came when dd was five months old for a memorial service for FIL's father, held in a nearby town. We had a "naming and blessing" service for dd the morning following the memorial service so that they and more of dh's family could come. No one from my family came except my parents.
Fast forward to now. FIL and MIL make a car trip every spring to visit us but the primary anchor of their trip is a choral festival conducted by dh's brother. This year, BIL and SIL complained to us that the trip is poorly timed because it's in the middle of a semester and they don't have any time to visit when the parents come. Ditto for us, we said, the timing sucks.
So, we decided with BIL and SIL to hold a "naming and blessing" for our new baby at the end of May, when they could come and at a time which would be convenient for us, inviting MIL and FIL to drive east at that time instead of in March. MIL has now complained bitterly that they couldn't possibly make it then and she couldn't fly by herself and leave FIL, etc. Whatever.
And she's pushing HARD to have it at a time of her convenience, in over 4th of July weekend, when they will already be on their way out here for yet another memorial service for some other remote family member. I'm annoyed because they never come visit us for OUR special events but we get shafted because we're only on the way for them to other things. (Last time they visited they stayed one day and a half).
Oh, and MIL sends me another note saying how she can't possibly come help out after the baby comes because, guess what, she can't leave FIL. Well excuse me, lady, but I HAVEN'T EVEN INVITED YOU this time!!
To add insult to injury, we live in their old college town, so when they come visit us, half the time she is caring for FIL at the hotel and at least a quarter of the rest of the time she is running around town visiting old haunts or former professors. So, needless to say, they aren't exactly helpful around the house. :
I just feel so bad (insert ironic tone here) that we can't travel there for Christmas this year, and we missed a summer trip because of my m/s.
I guess I should be glad they aren't in our faces all the time, but I'd like to think that their ONLY grandchildren at least merit a little bit higher priority in their lives.
Am I being unreasonable by wanting to dig in my heels and refuse to have the naming and blessing on July 5? Or am I being reasonable for wanting to have it at the end of May, as we had planned? I don't really care all that much, honestly, about who shows up. I'm just tired of caving to MILs demands. She elicits such passive-agressive behavior in me! (Is that because she's being passive-aggressive??? I can't tell any more!)