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In our 40s and due in January - Page 21

post #401 of 544
YAY Janis! Congrats on your beautiful baby girl. Sorry the birth was traumatic and I know you didn't want a c-section (believe me, I know) but in the end, it's healthy mom and obviously healthy baby and that's the most important. We'd love to hear your story when/if you're up to sharing. In the meantime, take advantage of the rest in the hospital and feel good. I'm so happy for you and your baby girl. And please share the name when you figure it out.

Juneau, it's only a matter of hours now. Can't wait to hear the great news of your arrival. Hope it all goes swimmingly, quick and easy. And I LOVE your belly. Beautiful photo and henna design.
post #402 of 544
Janis, congratulations on your sweet little girl! I am sorry about the trauma but SO glad everything ended up OK! I can't wiat until you are able to check in a little more and hear all about how the 2 of you are doing.

Juneau, I am going to have a lot of trouble concentrating on work today, what with your birth and my u/s!

Hi Juls! Thanks for being here for me. I'll try to update on my u/s (3:20 EST) as soon as I can. I have to be up at the school for 7 pm but I should have time after the u/s.
post #403 of 544
Thinking of you Juneau and janis.

u/s went great! Nuchal fold measurement was 1.2 which is really good apparently.

Running to a meeting at the school......

Thinking of you all
post #404 of 544
VM, I can't remember the "criteria" for the neuchal fold but yes I know that 1.2 is a low number. I'm sure the blood work will come back just as good. If I recall, my numbers came back at like 250 to 1 that there would be a problem based on my numbers/age/etc and that was assuming it was my eggs. Since it was donor egg and with the donor's age, it came back like 7000 to 1. LOL. Obviously, I could live with those kind of odds so we didn't have an amnio. Even with DD, my numbers were like 550 to 1 when I was 39. But I'm glad the ultrasound went well today. I'm sure a sigh of relief from your end.

Juneau, can't wait for the big announcement.

Janis, how are you feeling today?? How's that little girl?

(just realized I need to go change my signature line don't i??)
post #405 of 544
Thanks Juls, I love your new siggy!

Yes, I am relieved. I will get more detailed results after my secnd blood test on feb 2 about my chances for Downs etc. I will forgo the ammnio if they are good.

I think Juneau said she'd be offline until friday or Saturday. I am so excited to hear abouther baby!!!

Hi Janis!

MNSunshine, Erika, and Doulamomvikci, I am thinking about you too!
post #406 of 544
Just checking in on my favourite preggo mamas!
post #407 of 544
i'm writing today. I've got to put this awful experience into writing. I need to know why it has to be this way. why it has to be so degrading to the mother. this isn't the "cause" that I want to define me, but i have to work through it before I can move on.

Veganmama - the waiting between the two scans was dreadful for us. But such a relief to get reassurance and not feel pressured to have amnio.

I think we've decided on a name. We're going to ask her one more time when she wakes up ... then announce it.

--janis
post #408 of 544
Janis, I find writing very cathartic. I hope it helps!

Can't wait to hear your little girl's name.

Thinking of you and your LO, Juneau!
post #409 of 544
After a 43-week-long beautiful pregnancy, our little Zoe Liora was finally ready to join us Friday 1/9 @1:17AM.

She weighed 7#3oz and measured 20". She is beautiful and perfectly healthy. Her big sisters and parents are completely smitten.

Zoe means Life
Liora means My Light

She is our light and our life. May she continue to teach us patience and bring us joy every day.

I'm not ready to discuss my birth, so most people don't even know - but it feels safe here to share the painful parts.
post #410 of 544
Janis, I love the name Zoe! It's so pretty and yet so strong.

If you feel safe sharing here, we would be honoured to read your birth story. Many hugs to you.

I am hoping we might hear from Juneau today!
post #411 of 544
Thread Starter 
Hi! Eliza Jane joined us at 2:42 p.m. on Monday, January 12!

We are finally back home. Getting home was a bit more of an adventure than we bargained for, starting with the : coldest day in a decade -- which killed our car battery. That left me upstairs in the hospital with a first poopy then hungry then poopy again baby, while dh kept the car running downstairs for an hour waiting for us. At least it was good and warm by the time we finally made it down.

Dd still insists on calling her sister "Fred" and I find that I do, too, when I am talking to dd1. Too funny! She has consented to sometimes call her "Fred Eliza Jane."

She weighed 6 lbs, 13 oz, and was 19 inches long -- just a hair bigger than her sister. She's nursing great, and is a very calm baby. She is perfect in every way and wonderfully healthy. I'm so happy!! :::

The birth was more painful than I would have liked but I got almost everything I asked for vis a vis baby care after the birth and in the hospital. There were some nurses who were kind of anxious about kangaroo care but no one seemed to give a whit about co-sleeping. (After dd1 was born the nurses at that hospital freaked out if I fell asleep while holding her.)

The worst thing about the hospital was the incessant (several times a day and sometimes at night!) fire alarms -- GRRRR!! The best thing was having my friend be my midwife in the OR.

I lost quite a bit of blood (800 cc) but other than that, I have had no complications -- hooray! Eliza is amazing and worth all of it.
post #412 of 544
congratulations juneau!!!

post #413 of 544
Oh Juneau, I am so happy for you!!!! Eliza Jane sounds beautiful and I am so jealous of her birthweight! DD was 6lb9oz but DS was 9lb5oz. I am afraid this one is going to be 12lbsomething!

Congratulations and welcome baby girl!
post #414 of 544
Thread Starter 
Hi all,
I am struggling with C-section recovery. I knew it was coming but blech, it's the pits. I had a bad reaction to one of the pain meds I was taking, and basically felt like if I fell asleep I would stop breathing. Very scary. Once dh and I figured out it was probably the medication we decided just to stay awake together until it wore off. So from 3 to 5 a.m., with dd blissfully sleeping, we stayed awake together until my panicky feeling went away. Now I have more pain than ibuprofen can really handle but I'm scared to take anything stronger. So I inch around the house wishing I could make it through these few weeks and be on the other side already.

There's buckets of snow outside and although still well below freezing it's a relative heat wave in the 20s. I wish it weren't so slippery and cold or I'd go for a walk.

My first dd seems freakishly huge to me now. I was expecting that but still, it's even worse than I expected. When she nurses she seems like a giant! And she has too much energy for me to deal with right now. Good thing dh and my parents are here.

Janis and Juls, what are your postpartum issues? Janis, I know you're struggling with emotional recovery from your C-section, but how is your physical recovery going?
post #415 of 544
Juneau - it frankly sucks. But I can't even imagine tandem nursing after this. You are 4 days behind me, so I'm trying to think of where I was on Wednesday ... and, yes, I hurt a LOT more than I do now. I think that's when I started taking less medicine, though.

If it helps, this is what I was taking: in the hospital, at first they gave me something in the I.V., but after they took that out, I was taking percoset. I found out on the second day that it was supposed to be every 3 hours, but they were giving it to me on demand, and I was waiting til I was in excruciating pain to ask for it. I'm a martyr with a high tolerance of pain, so I just assumed they were taking care of me. It took a night of regular demerol shots to get the pain under control, and then I began taking percoset every 3-4 hours plus motrin in between. The pain was marginally better the next day, but I requested another demerol shot. That shot didn't even touch the pain. All this time, I was also waking up in sweats - I wonder if that was a reaction to the percoset. The next day, I switched to darvoset with motrin in between. My mom (dr.) says that darvoset is less effective than percoset, but I think it worked better, and the sweating went away. So, that's what they prescribed when I left the hospital. The first 3 days at home, I took the maximum dose and ibuprofen in between. But I kept forgetting to take it til the pain reminded me. One week pp, I reduced it to 1 tablet every 5 hours, and that seems to be working mostly. I still hurt like crazy if I go longer than 5 hours or forget the ibuprofen in between.

It's much easier to cope with the pain if you keep it in check. When you allow it to get too bad, then your body has to fight harder. I don't know what drugs they're giving you, but you need something different. Ibuprofen isn't enough. Can you take half of what they gave you til you can get in touch with your doctor? Are you taking any herbs?

What I want more than **anything** is to take my herbal bath with my baby. I think that is one of the hardest parts of this for me. It was so helpful in recovery from my last birth - and it's dreadful that I can't have it this time.

Oh - and I can't look at myself in the mirror. Not even my face. I shower in the dark. I am mortified to look down at my belly for fear that I might catch a glimpse of it. I don't know how I'll ever get past it. I'm completely disconnected from it. It's numb, it hurts, and it symbolizes something i don't want to remember.

In spite of all of that, I guess I'm recovering physically. My blood pressure is scaring me, though. It is still so high. (for me) MW has been checking on me, and she says it's nothing to worry about, but I worry about it anyway. My arm and leg are still bruised from the demerol shots a week ago, and my belly hurts in a new place every day. If I don't sleep well enough, I feel like I can't stand in the morning. If I laugh or cough, I fear that something inside of me is ripping. The numbness bothers me, but I am almost grateful for it. The hair is starting to grow back, too, I guess - that hurts, too. And, I have hemorrhoids! That is so not fair - but at least I am nor constipated - I should be grateful for that, too?

my story: http://lostmother.blogspot.com/
post #416 of 544
Juneau and Janis, you are both so strong. I'm so sorry that your recoveries are tough. I am sure glad you both have your beautiful daughters safe in your arms though.
post #417 of 544
Thread Starter 
Hi Janis,
I was taking fentanyl (in the IV) and then percocet in the hospital and it worked great for me, especially when someone suggested alternating it with ibuprofen. Some of the nurses were great at bringing it to me at the four-hour interval; I hated when I had to remember to ask for it because I wasn't always that great at keeping track of the time.

I got darvocet at home, but that's what freaked me out the first night. I will try taking it again tomorrow but only during the day to see what happens. I've taken it before without problems so maybe it was a one-time thing (but not one I'm anxious to repeat).

I read your story on your blog. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. Mine was not so much physically different but my experience of it was very different, maybe because I had so much time to prepare. I only had five days before my first dd was born to get used to the idea of a C-section but that's a lot longer than you had. This time I had four years to get ready!

Things I did differently this time: I made sure my friend/midwife could be there. I made a birth plan far in advance and discussed it both with her and my doctor. Some things I asked for this time: I wanted to touch my baby before she got cleaned up. I didn't want anyone, even dh, to tell me the sex -- I wanted to find out for myself. I would not agree to any separation during delivery, stitching up, or recovery. I had to fight for that one but I would not back down. I didn't want her bathed or anything done to her out of my sight. After she got suctioned and wiped down, dh took her under his surgical gown and held her skin-to-skin under a warm blanket. The nurses just about had a conniption about this, but my doctor thought it was a great idea. And of course she stayed nice and toasty. I recovered in my room, with dh, dd1, and my parents there, rather than a "recovery room," and was able to nurse dd2 there. Dd2 didn't get a bath until day 3.

A few things I asked for I didn't get, not because they didn't want to do it but because they forgot: lower the drape so I could see when the baby came out, say a prayer before the start of the surgery, nice music during the surgery. I just let it go.

Dh wasn't with me when I got my spinal, but M/W was, and she helped me stay calm. I do remember FREEZING in the OR at that point. But once they had me draped, the anesthesiologist put a warmer over my arms and chest -- basically a big inflatable pillow with arms that had hot air blowing through it.

The worst part of the delivery for me was when they pressed down on my belly after the baby was out. It hurt SO much. The doctor was giving me a hard time -- he laughed and said, remember, it's your friend (my midwife) who's doing that! (Didn't make it feel any better). Also I was in a LOT of pain for the first eight hours after delivery -- they supposedly gave me duramorph (morphine) with the spinal, but it really didn't work at all.

I felt better pretty quickly in the hospital but now I feel like I've hit a plateau in my recovery. It's so hard getting better when caring for a newborn at the same time. And with the cold and ice outside I feel kind of trapped in the house.

I feel so emotional, too. Today I was crying because I still have this huge belly and dd2 isn't inside any more. I had her all to myself then. I miss that.

An herbal bath sounds fantastic. When the time comes that we can take baths again, you'll have to let me know what you do.
post #418 of 544
It's too late for me to do a full comment now (and you all know how long winded I can be) so I want to have time to read all the posts and Janis' blog properly so I'll post tomorrow.

But, I wanted to say welcome to Eliza Jane! I love that we're all having girls. And I love the name Zoe Liora. Beautiful names for beautiful girls. Beautiful Moms too. Juneau and Janis, I hope you're feeling better every day. And in spite of the recovery pain, you've got gorgeous daughters so this will only be a small blip.

Congratulations, Mazel Tov, Happy Happy, YAY for ALL of us girls!
post #419 of 544
Thread Starter 
I finally got a good night's sleep tonight. Pain is better today. Dd2 is so tiny it's hard to use cloth diapers on her. And even the newborn-size disposables hang off her butt. I know she'll grow fast but I can't get over how tiny she is.

And Janis, I forgot to tell you how beautiful your dd's name is.
post #420 of 544
Juneau - i agree about the diapers. I never ever expected to have such a tiny baby. DD1 was 7#1 at 37 weeks - DD2 8#13 after 42w5d - since I went to 43 weeks, I just assumed this one would be at least 8# !! 7#3 is just shocking to me.

It's been 9 years since I diapered a tiny baby, and I forgot how hard it would be. I also didn't plan for a tiny baby, so I didn't have much newborn stuff, and it was all too big! I'm really fortunate, though, to have a resale shop nearby which specializes in cloth diapers. So, I've been able to get lots of extra tiny diapers to sample. (it helps that I'm in really close with the owner ... she was my manager for 3 years, and I sold the store to her last spring ... )

She leaked through everything for the first few days, and now, we still have blowouts. I feel clueless, even though I've been selling diapers and educating other moms for 6 years!!!! It's getting better, though - I know she'll grow fast, too fast for my liking.

--janis
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