Good Grief-I give up

[Intertwined]

I'm so very tired, and emotionally I'm just done. I spent all day yesterday sobbing off and on, laboring, and in the end, I've got a cervix that made very little change, a breech baby A and a vertex baby B (which is contradicted for vaginal birth), and I'm just so tired. Everyone left around 9, and I drank some wine and ate some delicious food and managed to sleep. I'm awake again but other than the random contraction here and there I think labor is finally going to leave me alone for awhile. I'm sore.

I don't know what to do! I feel like I'm a big, fat failure even though I know I cannot control the positions of the babies. It makes me feel like all the chiro adjustments and positional stuff in the world is having zero effect. They are doing what they need to do regardless of me. Why can't I just let go and trust my body this time? I am terrified of a c-section. Not because of the surgery, but because I have to come home and take care of SIX children, three of whom will be 17 months and younger. The recovery frightens me, both emotionally and physically.

Thanks for listening to me vent ladies. I just needed to get this OUT of me.

[JustJamie]

[battymama]

Hugs and love mama, you are very strong. Your babies are doing what they need to do, and so are you. I will be thinking of you.

[sweetcheeks]

Sending lots of your way, mama. You are not a failure! Look at you . . . you're 37.5 weeks pregnant w/twins! Not many twin mamas nowadays are "allowed" to carry this long. The fact you're this far along already is quite the accomplishment in itself!

I'll be thinking of you, Chantel!

[thismama]

lots of love and good thoughts to you chantel!

[Nate'sMama]

You and your babies are doing all the right things! You are a superstar.

An acquaintance of mine who's DH is an OB had her twins section set up when she was three months along You are doing all the right things!

They will come the way they want to when they want to. You will have all the speedy recovery vibes from us working for you if you need them

[NatureMama3]

hang in there! you are doing SO well. truly!

why are they telling you A=breech B=vertex is bad? not so!! the only dangerous presentation is B=breech because there may not be enough uterine tone to push the head out. even my perinatologist would have delivered the scenerio you are in.

can you get a pregnancy massage to help ease the pain and stress?

I really feel for you. I wish the chiro helped you as much as it has me.

[Patrick's mummy]

Hang in there Chantel. A few weeks ago it looked certain both babes were breeches and then they rearranged themselves. It can happen again. Is your midwife not happy with the leading twin as a breech? I don't know what the restrictions are (if any) on her practice but I know that where I live many midwives would be okay with this scenario. Can you get a second opinion?
Would you consider UC?
I hope this works itself out and really believe it will, given time.

[Shanana]

I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated mama .

[cj'smommy]

mama, I'm so sorry you have to go through all this.

Sending you ELV to help get things going..

[SumnerRain]

You poor thing, I really hope things work out for you and BOTH babies cooperate!

[smeisnotapirate]

I'd be scared of a c-sec, too. I'll be praying for you, hon. Keep strong.

[bugnbean]

I'm so sorry mama. Hang in there.

[kalisage]

Oh Chantel, you are in my thoughts

Ben & Claire, it's time to get ready. Mama has more room for you on the outside!

[alegna]

If you need a positive story- my dh is a twin (MZ actually...) and they were breech/vertex without any problems at all. Back in the day... (70s...) there was never any mention of a section.

-Angela

[MarchWillow]

well, they sure do move around alot don't they? Those two seem to be in a new position every couple days mama...have hope...they may yet decide to go head down again. They are probably trying to see how they can fit all comfy and still get "womb service" ..."maybe if we lay this way, we can stay a couple more days"

I hope things flip around and get busy for you soon!

[K's Mom!]

Big You are doing awesome job carrying those babies. They are fortunate to have a mom who is letting them cook as long as they need to.

[Intertwined]

Originally Posted by MarchWillow

well, they sure do move around alot don't they? Those two seem to be in a new position every couple days mama...have hope...they may yet decide to go head down again. They are probably trying to see how they can fit all comfy and still get "womb service" ..."maybe if we lay this way, we can stay a couple more days"

I hope things flip around and get busy for you soon!

That's a sweet way to think about it. I've been calling my uterus the Big Womb Bag because they seem to have so much space.

I'm feeling somewhat better this morning. I just needed to surrender to this whole thing. I cannot control it, I can only go with what's happening.

The reason a breech baby a and a vertex baby b are possibly a problem is because they can get entangled when baby a starts to make his/her way out if they are facing each other. Their chins can get caught and you can have a stuck breech. Which we all know is a bad deal, especially at home. So I have to decide what I feel the real risks are, and if I'm OK having an unassisted birth without my beloved midwife. I'm hoping it's a moot point and that one or the other flips for me. They've obviously got plenty of room.

I've been losing plug this morning and I got some more sleep last night.

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by Intertwined

I've been losing plug this morning and I got some more sleep last night.

That's a great sign!

Hope you don't have to make that tough decision. Those kids! Not even out of the womb and they're giving you trouble!

[Molck]

Originally Posted by Intertwined

I'm feeling somewhat better this morning. I just needed to surrender to this whole thing. I cannot control it, I can only go with what's happening.
....
I've been losing plug this morning and I got some more sleep last night.

I'm happy to hear you got some sleep last night. You're keeping so strong through all these ups and downs! I can't imagine how difficult surrender must be right now.