Issue in English class - Page 3

[mom de terre]

Originally Posted by mommyofmany

That's where I disagree. There's a time & place for things like that, but it's not at school, and not at that age.

I'd love to agree with this statement, but as a high school teacher I can tell you that graphic conversations about sexual content are taking place. You can prevent your kid from possibly maturely discussing the consequences of sexual violence in a moderated setting, but you can't do much about what he is hearing in the halls.

[rightkindofme]

Originally Posted by ThreeBeans

I'll say this: it is YOUR attitude, and the attitude of many people like you, which is the reason that so many young girls (and BOYS) are sexually assaulted and don't report it.

Please consider changing your tune. It is damaging...to EVERYONE...and helpful...to NO ONE.

This isn't fair. No, it isn't her attitude that causes young girls and boys to not report sexual assault. Sexual assault is very complicated and reporting it is very hard. My mother didn't censor anything I read and my mother didn't care what I did at school and I didn't report sexual assault when I was in high school.

Attacking her and blaming her for terrible things isn't going to help the situation.

[Mama~Love]

Gee thanks for the helpful and wonderful advice. I really apreciate it .

[CarrieMF]

I haven't read the book, but I think reading it yourself first would give you a better idea on whether it is something you want your son reading it.

I can see in a classroom setting it being more of a controlled conversation & putting truth vs false information out there about rape & assault.

[stayinghome]

When my bf and i were in 9th grade, she was raped. It is age appropriate to talk about it, because it's happening at that age. Off to see if our library has it for my 14 yo dd...

[mar123]

I teach high school and I have a 12 year old son. When he is 14, I would be fine with him reading the book. I have read it and it is not sexually explicit at all. It deals with the trauma of rape moreso than the actual act. Most of my students have already seen the movie and really like it. It was also on a summer reading list when I taught at an all girls Catholic school- I teach co-ed public now.

I am teaching To Kill a Mockingbird right now and there are tons of issues that we discuss. I also feel that many parents would be surprised to find out what their kids know about and talk about. I know I was shocked when I first started teaching.

[Mama~Love]

I'm still not allowing my son to read it. That's that. I'm not posting or reading anymore posts to this thread. I was looking for support, but instead got attacked and put down.

I have changed my views about MDC as well. Maybe it isn't the place for me.

[odenata]

OP, I'm wondering, and don't mean this to be at all snarky, why did you ask for advice on this? It sounds like you have already made up your mind.

Personally, I find the subject matter appropriate for that age group. Like many others, I had friends who were sexually assaulted and raped in high school. I especially think it's important for boys to be exposed to discussion of rape and the aftermath, since it is often an overlooked topic with them.

Would it be possible to talk to his teacher and find out how she intends to discuss/teach the book?

[chiromamma]

Support is not always "you're right." As a matter of fact, the best support challenges us to question our own tightly-held opinions. I think what I saw was awesome support. And I'm going out to buy that book for 13yo DD!

[ThreeBeans]

Support doesn't mean people tell you you're right, when you're wrong.


And in this particular instance, you are very, very, VERY wrong.

[odenata]

Originally Posted by mommyofmany

I'm still not allowing my son to read it. That's that. I'm not posting or reading anymore posts to this thread. I was looking for support, but instead got attacked and put down.

I have changed my views about MDC as well. Maybe it isn't the place for me.

Most of the posts here seem helpful and supportive to me, even if they don't agree with your point of view totally. Several people made suggestions for alternatives, like you reading the book with your son if you don't feel comfortable with the teacher, that seem like they want to help you think of options.

[zinemama]

OP, the questions you asked were:

"What do you think? Am I over-reacting as usual? Has anyone here read that book?"

People have answered your questions. If you wanted a support only thread for parents who don't approve of teens reading about rape, you should said so. But that's not the discussion you started.

[TCMoulton]

Originally Posted by mommyofmany

I'm still not allowing my son to read it. That's that. I'm not posting or reading anymore posts to this thread. I was looking for support, but instead got attacked and put down.

I have changed my views about MDC as well. Maybe it isn't the place for me.

I hope change your mind and return. Honestly, I do believe that you are overreacting. High school is not a PG environment anymore. I worked in a high school for a few years, was the student council sponsor for one, and you would be shocked at some of the discussions that I overheard in the halls on a daily basis. maybe if some of these kids had read a book and then discussed it in a classroom with their peers and a teacher maybe their attitudes would be different about sex and how to treat the opposite sex. Chances are your son will be the only one not reading the book. In high school kids look for reasons to exclude classmates, reasons to call them different. I would hate to think that my child would have to suffer at all because I felt that he wasn't ready to read a book discussing sexual assault in the classroom. Instead of saying he can't read the book why don't you read along with him, discuss the book at night before they discuss it in class. If you feel that the content in that section of the book is too much for him to handle keep him home that day. I just wouldn't stop him from participating in a classroom discussion that could benefit the entire class.

[purslaine]

I can say I would worry a bit about sensitive issues being discussed in clalss - - but I have trust issues with schools

Can you read it first and then go from there? Either let him read it at school, and then discuss it at home as well, or only read it at home? (if he is Ok with not reading/discussing it in class)

It does sound like a goodish book - and may lead to some really interesting discussions. My DS is 12, not 14, but I remember being concerned with whether he should read The Giver. I let him, we had some really cool discussions, and it remains one of his favourite books. Sometimes kids suprise us with what they are ready for.

Kathy

[The Harpy]

I have a 14 yr old DD and they read this book in her english class together and did chapter discussions. There was ONE child whose parent said "no" and so during English that child had to sit in the hallway and work on homework. She was pretty much left out of 2 weeks of English class. Keep that in mind too.

If I were you I would read the book and then decide.

[stayinghome]

So by advice, is what you actually wanted was for everyone to agree with only your point of view? I think most people's reactions here have been mature and respectful to you.

[tex.mom]

Originally Posted by TCMoulton

High school is not a PG environment anymore. I worked in a high school for a few years, was the student council sponsor for one, and you would be shocked at some of the discussions that I overheard in the halls

I have to ask, what was your own high school experience? I'm being earnest. A few others here have basically said the same, even the original theme of this post, and when people use terms like "anymore" and "shocked," it always makes me wonder, what was high school like for you? I promise I'm not being sarcastic at all...I know it's hard to tell in print sometimes!

[MountainLaurel]

Originally Posted by tex.mom

I have to ask, what was your own high school experience? I'm being earnest. A few others here have basically said the same, even the original theme of this post, and when people use terms like "anymore" and "shocked," it always makes me wonder, what was high school like for you? I promise I'm not being sarcastic at all...I know it's hard to tell in print sometimes!

No kidding: When I was in high school in the 80s:

* One of my oldest friends got pregnant at 15.
* I spent 3 years waiting for her boyfriend to make good on his threats to kill her.
* At least once a year a student died or was left severely incapacitated after a group of friends got drunk and someone shot someone else.
* A classmate was stabbed to death, and it was in part his own fault. (He had been threatening the person who stabbed him.)
* Another classmate and friend of a friend was using uppers so that he could work almost full time while in high school (and on the tennis team and in several other extracurriculur activities) and then smoking pot to bring himself down.
* Half of the folks in the accelerated classes were using heavy drugs on weekends.
* A friend of mine had to use the money she had saved for a band trip to Florida to pay for an abortion.
* I knew a lot of people for whom the best meal of the day was the free one at school.
* I knew several girls who were in relationships that could be considered statutory rape (15-yo girl dating a 27-yo man).

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

[TCMoulton]

Originally Posted by tex.mom

I have to ask, what was your own high school experience? I'm being earnest. A few others here have basically said the same, even the original theme of this post, and when people use terms like "anymore" and "shocked," it always makes me wonder, what was high school like for you? I promise I'm not being sarcastic at all...I know it's hard to tell in print sometimes!

I attended a high school in the same district in which I worked. Honestly, the things that I noticed that were different (and just so you know 10 years had passed from my graduation to my returning as an employee) were mainly behavioral differences and it's kinda hard to put into words. The attitude of boys towards girls seemed to be less, they used more vulgar language when describing them, used more crude terms when addressing them, lots more sexual gestures in the hallways, attitude towards teachers and staff members changed too, more kids frequently used profanity when speaking with teachers, seemed to have no problem talking back to a teacher, had less respect. The girls seemed to wear more exposing clothing (I know also a sign of the change in fashions), seemed to value themselves less, talked about fooling around with guys in a much more casual manner, I don't know. Like I said it is really hard to put into words. When I was in high school I was in a lot of AP classes, did really well in school, but I also hung out with the popular crowd, sang in the choir, played sports, basically knew kids from all kinds of backgrounds. Maybe the kids just seemed older to me, I really don't know. Does this make any sense? (I'm not saying none of this went on when I was in school just that it was more out in the open now)

[Marcee]

This discussion kind of reminds me of when I was in 9th grade and we had to have premission for the sex ed part of health class. My mom did not want to sign the slip because the class discussed how abortions were preformed and stds. She ended up relenting only when I reminded her that she had had no problem with my brother taking the same class the year before.

And to the OP, please rethink MDC. I do not share many of the same ideas that people on this board do, but I have found lots of good information and advice here, not to mention lots of food for thought.